


Forgive Me

by deirdre_aithne, uniquepov



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Angst, BDSM, Dom/sub, Domestic Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-05
Updated: 2011-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-05 10:05:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 78,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deirdre_aithne/pseuds/deirdre_aithne, https://archiveofourown.org/users/uniquepov/pseuds/uniquepov
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?</p><p>
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</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue, Chapters 1 & 2

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/), [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/), [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/), [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/), and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.

Prologue

 

“You're still coming to dinner tonight, aren't you, Harry?”

Looking up from the paperwork on his desk, Harry met his friend's brown eyes and had to resist the urge to sigh. Hermione had asked him to dinner for more than a month before he finally agreed. Ever since, she seemed to be under the impression that he would forget entirely if she didn't remind him at least once every few days. The frequency of her check-ins had only increased as the date got closer, and her apparent anxiety had resulted in her sending an enchanted memo first thing this morning, and now popping into his office personally.

“Yes, Hermione, I am,” he answered, returning his gaze to the Ministry memo that still required his attention. It wasn't that he disliked joining Hermione and her fiancé for dinner. In truth, he and Draco were rather friendly, now that the war was over, and their nasty past was well behind them. His issue with Hermione’s invitations was that they often came with one rather annoying string attached.

"Wonderful!” Nearly sprinting the few steps between the doorway and Harry's desk, Hermione placed a quick kiss against his forehead and smiled brightly. “Now, don't forget to dress nicely for your date!” She retreated back into the main corridor before she could notice Harry rolling his eyes.

Once the door had closed behind her, he let out a resigned sigh as he attempted to focus on the memo once again. Ever since her engagement to Draco, Hermione had taken it upon herself to be Harry's own personal match maker.

Entirely without his consent...

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Harry arrived in the foyer of Malfoy Manor through the Floo at just past seven that evening, dusting the traces of soot from his trousers. As much as he disliked Hermione meddling so constantly in his love life- or lack thereof- he still held out hope, in the back of his mind, that she might actually set him up with someone promising someday. With that in mind, he had worn a pair of Muggle trousers with the emerald green sweater Hermione had given him for Christmas the year before, aiming for a more casual appearance rather than more formal robes.

“Hey, Harry.”

Snapping his eyes away from his trouser legs, Harry looked up and met Neville's friendly smile with an expression of surprise. The other wizard looked much the same as Harry remembered him, although he had an air of confidence about him that had been lacking in the early years of their school days. He was dressed in a pair of dark trousers and a maroon coloured polo shirt. It suited him well, and Harry was finding himself hard pressed to focus on Neville's face, rather than the hints of muscle through the fabric of his shirt.

“You know,” Draco drawled, appearing in the doorway of the foyer with Hermione beside him, “I likely shouldn't find this as amusing as I do.”

Hermione swatted the blond sharply on the arm, shooting him a quick, halfhearted glare before looking at Harry sweetly.

“Harry, you're... _staring_.”

“Oh, don't stop him,” Neville interrupted, an amused smile quirking up the corners of his mouth as he watched Harry quickly snap himself out of his shock. “Honestly, it was a little flattering.”

Studiously ignoring the slight blush rising in his cheeks, Harry looked towards Hermione with a pleading expression, silently asking her to save him from making a bigger fool of himself. Instead, the witch suppressed a giggle and waved both Harry and Neville along behind her as she took Draco's arm.

“Dinner is served, boys, if you're ready to eat.”

The four of them sat at the rather large dining table with Harry and Neville on one side and Hermione and Draco seated directly across from them. Conversation lulled slightly while they ate, but Harry's previous embarrassment was slowly forgotten in the midst of good food and comfortable conversation. With his surprise over Neville's presence as his blind date now gone, Harry seized the opportunity to observe the other man, sneaking glances at him from the corner of his eye.

All traces of the awkward boy from their early years at Hogwarts were gone, replaced by a much more confident personality. He was still very much _Neville_ , with the same sense of humor that he'd always had. The only real difference, Harry noticed, was the comfortable way that Neville carried himself now. There was something very controlled in his demeanor and, when the other man caught Harry's eye briefly and smiled, a small shiver rippled through him.

For once, he had no reason to complain about Hermione's meddling.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

****

Chapter 1

 

Neville idly turned his cup of coffee on the table in front of him, watching the entrance of the restaurant anxiously. He'd arrived early enough to secure a table near the door before Harry was due to arrive, as much to allow himself time to calm his nerves as to ensure they wouldn't be stuck waiting to be seated. Glancing down briefly to smooth an imagined wrinkle in his shirt, he looked back up towards the door, thinking he'd spotted a glimpse of Harry through the window.

Harry paused at the entrance of the restaurant to catch his breath. He'd paced the hallway of Grimmauld Place for the better part of twenty minutes, waffling about whether to cancel his date. He liked Neville, but he wasn't sure that he was ready to date again, or that he wanted to risk losing another friend. In the end, he'd decided to attend, but had had to run to avoid being late.

“Harry!” Neville greeted him with a broad grin, waving the other man over as he entered the restaurant. “Are you all right?” he asked after a cursory glance at Harry, arching one eyebrow curiously. “You're looking a bit winded.”

"Sorry..." Harry replied sheepishly as he crossed over to the table and clasped hands with Neville. "I was trying not to be late."

Neville nudged the mug of coffee he'd bought for Harry closer to him with a chuckle. “I appreciate the thought, but I would have waited, you know.” He flashed Harry a teasing smile before taking a sip from his own cup. “I'm just glad you came.”

Harry grinned, ducking his head as he grabbed the proffered cup, adding sugar and a splash of milk before taking a large sip. "So, uh... how've you been?" he asked.

“Can't really complain,” Neville answered with a small shrug. “I've been busy with research mostly, as unexciting as that is. What about you?”

Harry fiddled with his napkin. "Oh, you know. Auror stuff is a lot less glamourous than you might think," he replied with a shy smile.

Neville watched Harry's fidgeting in amusement. “I imagine that's a good thing for you, though, isn't it? I mean, you never seemed happy with all of the attention that was thrown on you at school.”

"I'm not much one for the limelight," Harry agreed with a nod. "Never have been. I'm glad the _Daily Prophet_ seems to have gotten bored of reporting on my life."

“Took them long enough to get the message to bugger off, though, didn't it?” Neville shook his head, recalling his own brief experiences with the _Daily Prophet_ reporters immediately after the war. “What about outside of work? Surely you do something for fun these days?” he asked, leaning forwards and folding his arms on the table.

Harry frowned. "Oh... I've become a bit of a homebody these last few months. Spending some time alone, sorting things out. Reading. Practicing my flying...”

“You sound like me,” Neville chuckled. “Just about all I do at night is sit around and read; as though I don't get enough of that with work.”

Harry smiled. "Tell me about your work. You were always fascinated with Herbology; I remember that even from first-year."

“You mean it was the only thing I was good at,” Neville said with playful grin. “Lately, I've been looking for alternate methods of handling some of the more dangerous plants. What little of a green thumb I have hasn't deemed me worthy of successfully breeding anything new, yet.”

Harry leaned forwards, jostling the table as he said quietly, "You were good at plenty, Nev. You took care of a lot of students that last year."

“That’s... different,” Neville murmured, looking down at his coffee.

Harry shook his head. "No, Neville, it isn't. You... took a stand and made a difference when it really mattered. That's more than a lot of people did, war or no."

Neville nodded after a moment, turning his mug in small circles on the table. “I know it made at least a bit of a difference, but-” He broke off with a quiet sigh and looked back up to Harry. “I think of it more as something that I just had to do, you know?”

Harry thought of Neville's parents, of what the first war had done to both of their families, and gave a curt nod. "Yeah... I think I do," he said softly.

Taking a long sip from his coffee, Neville replaced it on the table and ran his fingers quickly through his hair. “Tell me about the last book you read,” he said after a moment, hoping to turn the conversation back to something lighter.

Harry blushed. "Uhm..." He looked at the table in embarrassment. "Well...."

Neville tilted his head to one side, arching one eyebrow in question. “A reaction like that only piques my interest, you know,” he teased.

"I know... I can't help it. I've always.... blushed... fairly easily." Harry groaned. "It's just... the last book I read... was... well... adult-oriented?"

Neville bit down on his lower lip to try to suppress his grin. “I probably shouldn't ask for specifics then,” he said, his voice a little strained from holding back a chuckle. “But I at least have to ask if it was good?”

Harry grinned sheepishly. "It... wasn't bad?" he answered, his tone playful despite his clear embarrassment. "Kept my interest... in parts." He cleared his throat and continued, "Mostly, I read strategy guides and Dark Arts texts, trying to stay abreast of what I might encounter in the field. But sometimes... I just need something a little more... fun?"

Neville nodded in understanding, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile. “It makes sense; just...I'll admit I'm a little surprised. Not that I have much room to talk, I suppose,” he added quietly.

Harry's cheeks, if possible, got even redder. "O-oh?" he stammered. "Should I... not ask you about your reading, then?" He managed a good-natured grin.

Neville's smile broadened, giving way to a heartfelt chuckle. “Actually, the _last_ book I read was about cooking, so I suppose you're safe.”

Harry let out a long breath and grinned. "Okay. Safe topic. Do you like to cook?"

“Now that I can manage it without burning something most times, I do,” Neville answered. “It’s sort of grown on me as a bit of a hobby, I guess.”

Harry smiled. "I learned to cook very young," he told Neville. "It's only recently that I find I really enjoy it."

“Do you have anything you're partial to making?” Neville asked, shifting to fold his hands beneath his chin. “Or do you just sort of go with whatever strikes you at the moment?”

"I quite like exotic dishes - stir fry, curry, things like that," Harry said wistfully. "From places I'll never go..."

“Why wouldn't you?” Neville's brow furrowed in confusion. “Do you have something against travelling?”

"No," Harry shook his head slowly. "I... I don't know; I've never been outside of the UK," he admitted.

Neville reached one hand across the table to grasp Harry's briefly. “You should travel if you have the chance, though. It's rather fun, even if you don't go far.”

Harry smiled. "Have you been able to travel much, Nev?"

“A bit. For conferences, mostly, so my sightseeing time is always limited. But from what I do get to see, and what I've been able to taste of the foods, it's really worth it.”

Harry’s face took on a dreamy expression. "Where have you gone?"

“The last was in Italy,” Neville answered, pausing for a moment to think. “Before that, there was one in Germany and another in France. I had to pass up my invitation to India, although I'd love to go someday, just to see what I missed.”

"Sounds nice," Harry said with a smile. "So... what else do you like to do?" he asked, taking another sip of coffee.

“That's most of it, really,” Neville answered, unable to help but return Harry's smile. “I'm sure it sounds rather boring, but I don't keep too many hobbies these days. I have my plants for work, so I don't grow much at home anymore, and the only thing I really do that could be considered 'going out' is taking walks around the park near my flat.”

"I understand." An awkward silence stretched between them for a moment, until Harry asked hesitantly, "Neville... did you know, when Hermione invited you to dinner, that it was with me?"

Neville glanced down at his mug and gave a small nod. “She told me when she first invited me...”

Surprised, Harry leaned closer in across the table. "She did?"

“It might have taken a bit of prodding on my end,” Neville admitted. “I wouldn't agree unless she told me.”

Harry ducked his head with a chuckle. "I guess I'm used to her meddling by now."

“You didn't ask who would be there when she invited you?” Neville asked curiously. “You seemed surprised and all, but...I sort of assumed she'd at least have given you some sort of hint.”

Harry shook his head. "I..." He paused as he considered how to phrase what he was about to say. "Hermione sets me up a lot... It's easier to just have dinner with her and Draco and some random bloke, than to argue about it with her ahead of time."

“I hope it’s safe to assume this is a good sign, then?” Neville asked, the tiny quaver in his voice betraying his nervousness. “You agreeing to a second date, I mean?”

Harry gave a shy smile. "Well... it's the first one I've agreed to?" he offered tentatively.

Neville relaxed somewhat, smiling down at his cup. “I'm really glad you decided to come, Harry. I mean that...”

"Me, too," Harry resumed fidgeting with his napkin. "I... I'm glad you asked me."

“Would you like to just... get out of here?” Neville asked, glancing back up at Harry. “Maybe go for a walk together or something?”

“I’d like that,” Harry agreed.

Neville smiled as he rose, waiting for Harry to do the same before leading the way toward the door, opening it for Harry to step outside.

Harry ducked his head and grinned as he stepped through the door, waiting just outside for Neville to join him. "Did you have someplace in mind?"

“There's a small park a few minutes away,” Neville suggested, tucking his hands uncertainly into the pockets of his trousers. “Or we could always circle around here, if you'd rather.”

Harry shoved his own hands in his jacket pockets as he shrugged. "I think I'd prefer the park, actually."

Neville nodded and set off in the direction of the park with Harry beside him. “Do you mind if I ask you something, Harry?”

Harry shrugged again. "I... guess not?"

“If you didn't like Hermione setting you up so much, why did you keep letting her? Not that it hasn't worked out spectacularly for me,” Neville added with a playful smile as he glanced at Harry from the corner of his eye. “But you didn't exactly seem thrilled about her playing matchmaker in general.”

Harry grinned and turned to look at Neville as they walked along. "Have _you_ ever tried to argue with Hermione, once she's got her mind set on something?"

Neville laughed. “Point taken. She certainly wasn't too happy when I put up a fight over it, when she first asked me.”

Harry faced forward again with a nod. "Right. Now imagine that every couple of weeks for the last eight months."

“Eight months?” Neville asked, looking at Harry in surprise. “Have her choices been _that_ terrible, or have I just been incredibly lucky to be the first to get a second date?”

Harry ducked his head, his cheeks tinting pink. "I... well..." He trailed off and took a deep breath. "Hermione insists that they weren't all 'completely unfortunate,' really," he admitted. "I guess things just never seemed to ... click?"

Neville's lip twitched, and he removed one hand from his pocket and let it brush briefly against Harry's side as they walked, hoping the other man might take the hint and allow him to hold his hand. "Would it be out of line for me to ask if that means you think we 'click'?"

Harry's blush deepened as he kept his head down, his eyes trained on Neville's hand, swinging in gentle invitation between them. "I - uh - " he stammered softly.

"Harry," Neville started cautiously when Harry didn't outright answer, glancing at the other man with a small smile. "I wouldn't have asked you for this if I hadn't felt something, you know. I just...want to know where you stand on the subject."

Harry pulled his hand out of his jacket to tentatively grasp Neville's. "I... I wouldn't have said yes, if I didn't."

Squeezing Harry's hand, Neville’s smile widened playfully. "Does that mean I could get away with asking for a third date already?"

Harry hesitated, turning his head away to hide his answering grin. "I don't think so, Neville," he said softly.

Neville turned to look at Harry with a hint of confusion, glancing down at Harry's hand still clasped in his before arching one eyebrow curiously. "Mind if I ask why not?"

Harry turned back toward him, so that Neville could see his shy smile. "Because it's my turn to ask you."

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

****

Chapter 2

 

Harry left the pan simmering on the stove as he heard the Floo activate. Coming into the front room, he watched as the green flames flared to life and Neville stepped through the Floo. "Hey," he greeted with a shy smile.

“Hey,” Neville replied, an answering smile on his face. “I'm not late, am I? I was a little rushed getting out of the greenhouse.”

"Not at all," Harry shook his head. "Dinner will be a few more minutes; why don't you come on through to the kitchen with me?"

Neville followed after Harry as he led the way towards the kitchen. “It smells amazing, Harry; what is it?”

"It's a coconut chicken curry," Harry said nervously. "I made it mild; I wasn't sure how spicy you'd prefer..."

“I've actually never really tried curry,” Neville admitted a little sheepishly. “But from the way it smells, I'm already thinking I've been missing out.”

Harry sighed in relief. "I'm glad I made it mild, then, if it's your first go. I... remembered you said you'd had to give up your trip to India. You seemed sad."

Neville smiled, just stopping himself from hugging Harry. “Thank you,” he said softly, leaning against the counter beneath the stove. “Can I help with anything?”

Harry smiled and shook his head. "It's nearly done," he told Neville. "Can I get you a drink?"

“Sure, just...” Neville glanced down at the simmering pan and then back to Harry with an uncertain smile. “I'll trust you to know what goes well with the curry.”

Harry grinned. "I have a white wine?"

“That sounds great,” Neville agreed with a nod.

Harry poured them each a glass and handed one to Neville. "Cheers," he said, holding up his glass. "Thanks for coming over."

“Thanks for inviting me,” Neville answered, raising his own glass as well.

Harry clinked glasses awkwardly, taking a quick sip before setting the goblet onto the counter and puttering with the pans on the stove, tasting the dish which was still simmering merrily before adding pinches of spices to it.

Neville placed his own goblet on the counter top as Harry turned his attention to the stove. Leaning himself comfortably against the counter, he watched Harry tasting and adjusting each dish with a small smile turning up the corners of his mouth.

Harry glanced at Neville after checking the rice, ducking his head at the smile on the other's face. "What?"

“You just look so...comfortable doing this,” Neville answered, waving his hand at the stove. “And I _may_ find it rather cute,” he added quietly, turning away to hide his smile behind his glass as he took a sip of wine.

Harry's cheeks tinged pink. "Well, I did tell you I enjoyed cooking... when I could do what I wanted," he said softly. "I hope you like it."

“I'm sure I will, Harry.” Placing his wine back onto the counter, Neville returned to watching him for a moment. “Really, though, I may need to have you show me a thing or two. Recipe books can only get me so far.”

Harry nodded shyly. "I'd be happy to..." He returned to stirring things alternately. After another couple of moments, he turned the burners off and dumped a handful of shredded coconut into the curry. "Ready to eat?"

Neville nodded, straightening and then picking up his glass. “Do you want some help?” he asked uncertainly. “I feel a little bad, letting you do everything.”

"Don't be silly, it's all done," Harry said. "Do you mind eating here in the kitchen? I don't much care for the formal dining room..."

“No, that's fine,” Neville answered. “At least let me get your wine for you, though,” he added, reaching for Harry's glass to move it to the table.

Harry pulled out his wand to Levitate the pans over to cooling plates on the table. Another flick of his wand, and there were serving spoons in each dish and two low bowls set across from each other.

Neville placed their glasses down at the two set places, hesitating a moment before pulling out Harry’s chair for him with a smile.

Harry blushed. "Th-thanks," he mumbled as he sat down. He handed Neville a napkin as the other man sat down opposite him. "Here. I thought it might be fun to be more... authentic."

Neville looked uncertainly at the napkin he was handed and then at Harry, his smile widening nervously. “All right, you've lost me.”

Harry chuckled. "Right, sorry. You said you'd never eaten curry." He took a deep breath and began indicating the different pans and bowls. "The basmati rice and the curry are self explanatory?" At Neville's nod, he continued, "These are vegetable samosas; this is naan bread. You eat the samosas with your fingers and use the spoons to ladle rice and curry into your bowl. Then you use the naan bread to eat with, sort of scooping your food with pieces of bread."

“Makes sense enough. And thank you,” Neville said, ladling a bit of the rice into his bowl. “The thought you put into this is just...amazing.”

Harry ducked his head again. "Well... the samosas and the naan are from the takeaway place over the road. Rice and curry are simple to make..."

“That doesn't make it any less thoughtful,” Neville countered, as he added some of the curry to his bowl. “You took a casual comment about one missed trip and turned it into all of this. I appreciate that.”

Harry smiled. "You're welcome." He began helping himself to the dishes as well. "I hope you like it."

“I'm sure it's great,” Neville told him as he broke off a piece of naan bread, dipping it into his bowl and scooping out a small bite of both rice and curry. “Oh, Merlin,” he murmured a moment later, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth as he spoke. Once he finally swallowed, he gave a soft chuckle and smiled sheepishly at Harry. “First, I want to thank you for making this mild, because that was...unexpected. And second,” he continued, breaking off another piece of bread and scooping out a second bite from his bowl. “This is bloody amazing.”

Harry's cheeks turned pink again, but he grinned. "You're welcome. I.... I was hoping to impress you."

“You did,” Neville assured him, as he paused to take a sip of his wine. “Really, Harry, this is fantastic.”

Harry grinned and took several bites of his own meal. "I'm glad."

Neville smiled as he finished off the contents of his bowl, trying a few bites of the samosas here and there and taking sips of wine to ease the heat from the curry. “Honestly, how did you learn to cook like this?” he asked as he nudged his bowl away and idly swirled the wine around in his glass. “I can't remember the last time I had something this good.”

Harry shrugged. "I told you; I've recently discovered I enjoy cooking. Hermione's been delighted to share every cookbook ever published with me."

“You have a remarkable talent for it, then. All the cookbooks in the world couldn't teach me to pull something off this well, I assure you.”

"I don't know about that. It’s really very simple, Nev. I'll teach you, sometime... if you like," he finished shyly.

Neville smiled, reaching across the table to grasp Harry's hand for a moment. “I'd like that, Harry.”

Harry squeezed Neville's hand lightly. "All right, then."

Neville's smile widened a fraction before he gestured at the dishes on the table. “Thank you again for all of this. Do you want a hand cleaning up?”

Harry shook his head, sending the dishes to the sink and setting them washing with another flick of his wand. "Molly Weasley," he said, by way of explanation.

“That's brilliant,” Neville chuckled. He glanced down at the table, where his hand was still clasping Harry's, and stroked his thumb lightly across the back of his hand.

Harry found himself staring at their joined hands. "M-more wine?" he stammered.

“Hm? Oh!” Neville blushed slightly as he brought his attention back to Harry and shook his head. “I'm all right, thanks.”

Harry poured himself a bit more. "Do you want to go up to the library?" he asked shyly. "It'd be more comfortable than these benches..."

Neville nodded, releasing Harry's hand a little reluctantly as he stood. “Lead the way.”

Harry stood, floating their wineglasses and the bottle in front of them as he tentatively took Neville's hand again and led him upstairs to the library, where a fire was crackling in the hearth.

Smiling when Harry grabbed his hand, Neville squeezed it lightly as he followed Harry into the library. “This is rather cozy,” he said as he looked around at the shelves of books. “I can see why you'd like spending time in here.”

Harry smiled a little wistfully. “I think it... reminds me of Hogwarts, a little. Of spending time in the library with Ron and Hermione."

“Nostalgic for the days of four-foot essays, are you?” Neville teased light-heartedly.

"Hardly," Harry replied with a laugh. "But I do sometimes wish for... a simpler time."

Neville nodded, stepping away from Harry to look at the rows of books. “I know what you mean. Though, if I had something like this at my flat, I'm not sure I'd ever bring myself to leave.”

Harry sat in one of the armchairs near the fireplace and watched Neville indulgently. "That’s what Hermione used to say, before she moved into the Manor," he chuckled.

“I can only imagine how hard it must be for her to leave for work every morning,” Neville said with a playful grin. He paused for a moment to pull a book off the shelf, turning it over in his hand and arching one eyebrow in amusement. “ _'Midnight Love Affair'_ ” he said aloud, holding up the paperback book with a smile. “Should I assume that this was your latest read?”

Harry buried his head in his hands. "It... might have been?"

Neville chuckled as he returned the book to the shelf. “Come on, Harry, it's not that bad. And again, you're not the only one of us who's read one.”

"I know... it's just..." Harry took a sip of his wine to avoid having to answer.

“It's what?” Neville asked, still smiling, as he walked over toward Harry's chair.

"Embarrassing." Harry muttered into his hands.

“Could you be any more adorable?” Neville asked softly. Crouching down in front of Harry, he reached for his hands, pulling them away from his face.

Harry looked at him in surprise, cheeks still flushed in embarrassment. Neville flashed him a smile before leaning up slightly and pressing his lips to Harry's, whose eyes widened in surprise before he began kissing back eagerly. Neville smiled against Harry's lips, bringing one hand up to thread lightly through the other man's hair, pulling him closer. Harry brought a hand up to cup Neville's cheek as they pulled back, breathing heavily.

Neville continued to card his fingers through Harry’s hair for a moment. “I...wow,” he murmured, ducking his head as he chuckled. “I want to say something, but all I can think of right now is how much I want to do that again.”

Harry smiled, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Neville's once again in response. Neville closed his fingers lightly around a handful of Harry's hair, wrapping his other arm around Harry's waist the best he could manage. Tilting his head, his tongue darted out briefly across Harry's lower lip. Harry wrapped one hand around the back of Neville’s neck as the other curled into the front of Neville’s jumper. He leaned forward, nipping at the taller man’s lower lip. Neville parted his lips slightly, allowing Harry to deepen the kiss as he carded his fingers through his hair. Harry let out a soft moan as they continued kissing. Pulling back, Neville reluctantly removed his hand from Harry's hair, dropping it to grasp his hand and squeeze lightly.

Harry blinked, his gaze dropping down to stare at their joined hands before looking back into Neville's eyes. "Don't stop," he whispered shyly.

Smiling, Neville leaned up and pressed his lips briefly to Harry's. "I don't want to, but..." Lowering his eyes to their hands, Neville squeezed Harry's again. "I don't want to rush this, either, Harry."

Harry's eyes followed Neville's back down to their joined hands with a small smile of his own. "All right," he murmured. "I... slow. Slow is good."

"That's all right with you, then?" Neville asked, giving Harry's hand a hopeful squeeze.

Harry nodded.

Relieved, Neville leaned up to kiss Harry once again. Harry's eyes fluttered closed as he leaned into the kiss. After a moment, they broke apart, and Harry’s lips curved into a smile.

"Yes, it's all right with me, Neville.”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	2. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
> 

Chapter 3

 

Harry sat beside Neville on the sofa, his heart pounding as he turned towards the other man. They’d spent time together nearly every day for a fortnight and, while they had agreed to take things slowly, Harry knew that Neville wouldn’t want to wait forever. Despite his nervousness, Harry’d decided it was time to try getting a bit more physical. He tentatively rested a hand on Neville's thigh as he leaned in to nuzzle his neck gently.

Smiling, Neville laid one of his hands over Harry's on his thigh, giving it a light, encouraging squeeze. Turning his face to look at him, Neville slipped his other hand beneath Harry's chin, tilting his face upwards until their eyes met. "Harry..."

Harry looked into his eyes and smiled shyly. "Neville, I... "

Dipping his head, Neville brushed their lips together briefly, stroking Harry's cheek with his thumb as he pulled away. "We should talk, Harry," he said, careful to keep his voice gentle so that the other man wouldn't think he was rejecting him. "Before this goes any further."

Harry's green eyes, which had fluttered closed at the kiss, opened wide in concern. "Talk?"

Noticing his worried expression, Neville gave Harry's hand another squeeze, hoping to remind him he wasn't being pushed away. "It would be better if we did, yes." Moving his hand from beneath Harry's chin, Neville cupped the side of his face gently. "There's something you should know _before_ we take this step, and I don't want you to regret it."

Harry leaned his cheek into Neville's touch, but his gaze was clouded. "What... what is it?" he asked, his voice quivering with trepidation.

Neville watched Harry's face closely as he took a steadying breath, choosing his words carefully as he answered. "I'm a rather dominant lover, Harry.”

Harry's brow furrowed at Neville's words. "I... don't understand," he said finally. "Do you mean you... don't bottom? That's not an issue, Neville, I prefer to bottom...."

"It's more than that," Neville said, shaking his head. "It's not just about me topping, it's... That I like to be in control," he said, looking into Harry's eyes and willing him to understand.

Harry went very still as he looked into Neville's eyes. "In control?" he whispered.

Sensing the shift in Harry's mood, Neville withdrew his hand from Harry's face, grasping his other hand instead. "Harry? What is it?" he asked quietly, doing his best to keep his voice calm and steady despite the concern welling inside him.

Harry forced himself to take several deep breaths as he slowly withdrew his hands from Neville’s. "I - would you - explain what you mean by control?"

"Mostly, that would depend on _you_ , and what you're comfortable with; I would never force you into anything. If you're asking for an example, though," he added, pausing for a moment to think before he continued. "I'm rather fond of tying up my partners, so that I can tease them at my leisure."

Harry stared at Neville. He didn't know what he'd been expecting, but it certainly hadn’t been that. He took another deep breath and asked quietly, "So... you mean, like... BDSM?" His cheeks were flushed pink and he ducked his head as he asked the question.

Neville nodded, the corner of his lip twitching in amusement over Harry's blushing reaction. "Exactly like that."

Harry twisted his hands in his lap as he considered that. "You're a ... Dom?" He tried to sound nonchalant, but his tone lilted up at the end and he realised he'd made it another question.

"Yes," Neville answered easily, finding it difficult not to reach for Harry when his shy nervousness was so endearing.

Harry met Neville's eyes. "When - I mean, how long have you...?" He paused and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. You took me by surprise."

"Better now than when we've both gotten lost in the moment," Neville said, reaching for one of Harry's hands again slowly, allowing him time to pull away if he wanted to.

Harry nodded, his eyes locked onto where Neville's hand was clasping one of his own. "I... uhh... I didn't know you were into that."

"If you don't want this," Neville said, gesturing at the two of them with his free hand, "to go any further because of it, Harry, I'll understand."

Harry worried his lower lip with his teeth and refused to meet Neville's eyes for a long moment. " I - I don't know. There are ... things... that have happened..."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Neville asked, feeling the earlier wave of concern return. "Regardless of what happens here between us, I'm your _friend_ ," he said, giving Harry's hand a squeeze as he spoke. "I'll listen."

Harry shook his head quickly. "Neville, I... I've really enjoyed the time we've spent together so far. But I don't know if I can... if I can be what you want."

"Harry," Neville said, his tone slightly sharper than it had been before. "'Being what I want' is being yourself. If my... _interests_ are a deal-breaker for you, I can accept that. But don't make the mistake of thinking I would ever want to change you..."

Harry ducked his head again at Neville's sharpened tone, physically flinching as he did. After a moment, he asked softly, "Would you... want me to leave if I said I didn't think I could -" his voice lowered almost to a whisper "-submit to you?"

Taking a chance, Neville released Harry's hand, gently cupping the side of the other man's face in his palm again, keeping his touch light, in case Harry tried to withdraw. "Only if you asked me to," he answered sincerely. "It's the way things usually are with me, Harry, but not the way they _have_ to be. I wouldn't leave you just because it wasn't what you wanted."

Harry's gaze, wide and slightly startled, flew to Neville's face. "You wouldn't?"

"Of course I wouldn't," Neville said, reaching his other hand for Harry's with a faint smile pulling at his mouth. "Do you think I'd be foolish enough to walk away from you over something so little, Harry?"

Harry ducked his head again and stammered, "I - I don't know..."

"Harry, please look at me," Neville said softly.

Harry hesitantly raised his eyes to Neville's face.

Offering him a small smile, Neville stroked Harry's cheek as he met his eyes. "I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to. I mean that."

Harry's answering smile nearly erased the worry from his eyes. "I want you to stay, Neville," he whispered. "Please."

Relaxing at Harry's words, Neville leaned in to brush their lips together, leaving it to Harry to push him away or pull him in properly. Harry leaned into the kiss, one hand moving up to ghost over Neville's cheek. His tongue teased across the other man's lips as the kiss deepened. Neville's hand slipped from Harry’s cheek around to the back of his head, his fingers threading gently through his dark hair. His other hand rested on Harry's knee, sliding slowly upward along his leg. Harry moaned approvingly into the kiss as he leaned further into Neville, his legs parting slightly as the other man's hand slid upward, Harry's own arms winding around Neville’s neck.

Breaking away from their kiss at length to breathe, Neville tilted his head, brushing his lips along the line of Harry's jaw. His hand came to rest against the other wizard's upper thigh, squeezing lightly as he marked a trail of kisses toward Harry's neck. Harry tilted his head back with a sigh, his eyes fluttering closed again, his hand coming to rest atop Neville's on his thigh.

Neville squeezed Harry's thigh again, inching his hand upward a little further. "What do you want?" he asked quietly against the curve of Harry's throat as he nuzzled his neck between kisses.

"I..." Harry gasped, his hands moving to run through Neville's hair. "Merlin, Neville..."

Chuckling, Neville moved his hand again, pressing his palm against the bulge in Harry's trousers and rubbing it lightly through the fabric. "Do you want more?" he asked, his lips beside Harry's ear.

Harry nodded breathlessly, turning his head to capture Neville's mouth in another passionate kiss. Groaning in appreciation, Neville melted into the kiss, his fingers finding and undoing the fastenings of Harry's trousers slowly. Harry reached out a hand and brushed his fingers tentatively against the answering bulge in Neville's trousers, his breathing harsh and ragged. Neville's own breath hitched as Harry's hand brushed against him. Parting the fabric of Harry's trousers, Neville slipped his hand inside, tugging down the waistband of the other man's pants to free his straining erection.

Harry gasped as Neville's hand ghosted over his erection as he tugged his pants down. "Neville..." He leaned in to nuzzle the taller man's neck.

Curling his fingers around the base of Harry's cock, Neville squeezed the hardened flesh gently before gliding his hand along its length. "Merlin, I want you," Neville breathed, turning his face in to brush his lips against the shell of Harry's ear.

Harry shuddered as Neville's warm breath tickled his ear. His hands moved to fumble with the fastenings on Neville's trousers. "I - want you, too..."

Suppressing a moan at those words, Neville nuzzled Harry's neck. His hand continued to move slowly back and forth along the other man's length.

Harry's hand dropped down to catch hold of Neville's wrist, stilling his movements. "Neville, I ... it's been a while for me. I..."

Neville pulled back to meet Harry's eyes, offering no resistance when Harry grasped his wrist. "Do you want to stop?" he asked uncertainly.

"No," Harry groaned. "But I - I may not last very long." His cheeks flushed pink at the admission.

The edges of his mouth twitching, Neville dipped his head to press his lips to Harry's briefly. "Tell me what you want me to do, Harry," he murmured against his lips as he pulled away, bringing his unpinned hand up to caress the other man's cheek as he kissed him again. " _Please_?"

Harry hid his face in Neville's neck. "I - I... "

“I don't want to do something you don't want, Harry," Neville said quietly, withdrawing his hand from Harry's grasp to curl it around the other man's waist, pulling him closer. "I don't want to hurt you," he added in a whisper as he placed a few gentle kisses against Harry's neck, curling his arms loosely around his waist in an attempt to reassure him.

Harry let out a broken whimper at Neville's words and wrapped his arms around Neville's neck. Tightening his arms slightly around Harry's waist, Neville held him closer, pulling the other man fully into his lap. He turned to place a single kiss against Harry's cheek, gently stroking the small of his back. Harry let himself be pulled into Neville's lap, turning to kiss the taller man deeply, one hand resting on Neville's chest. Bringing one of his hands up to thread through Harry's hair, Neville returned the kiss eagerly, his other hand continuing to stroke Harry's back.

Harry moaned softly into the kiss, his breathing uneven and a little ragged. He pulled back to rest his forehead against Neville's cheek. "There's something.... you should... you should know..."

"What is it?" Neville asked, his voice wavering from his heavy breathing.

Harry bit his lower lip sharply and stared at his lap. His mouth opened and closed silently. "Nev-never mind," he finally whispered, as he leaned in to kiss him again.

"Harry," Neville said quietly, although his voice held a note of firmness to it as he removed his fingers from the other man's hair, pressing his hand against his shoulder to gently push him backward, looking into Harry’s eyes with concern. "What is it?" he repeated.

Harry could not hide another flinch as Neville's tone sharpened again. "I'm sorry," he whispered immediately.

Noticing Harry’s reaction, Neville's concern deepened, and he carefully kept his voice calm and quiet as he spoke again. "There's nothing for you to be sorry for," he said, removing his hand from Harry's shoulder to curl it loosely around his waist again. "But I can't let this go any further if you won't talk to me. I don't want you to regret this..." His heart was pounding loudly in his ears as he looked at Harry, torn between simply pulling the other man into his arms and pushing him away enough for them to talk.

Harry worried his bottom lip between his teeth. "Neville... I won't. I won't regret it, I promise." But despite the conviction he tried to put into his tone, he had actually begun trembling slightly on Neville's lap.

"Harry," Neville said, his voice hardly above a whisper as he swallowed back the lump of worry that rose in his throat, reaching out to cradle Harry's face in his hands again. "I don't want to push you away, but I _will not_ risk hurting you. Please-" he said, knowing that a hint of desperate pleading had edged into his tone, "- talk to me..."

Harry knew he would have to tell Neville some version of the truth eventually. He took a deep breath and slowly eased off Neville's lap to curl up against the corner of the sofa, his knees drawn up to his chest. "I - don't know..."

Offering Harry a bit more space, Neville slid back slightly. "I'm not going anywhere, Harry," he said, hoping it would encourage the other man to open up to him. "Whatever it is, I promise it won't change the way I look at you. Or how I feel about you."

Harry stared at his knees. "I - haven't been with anyone for a long time, Neville," he admitted quietly. "I've gone farther with you than I've gone with anyone in over a year."

"Does that bother you?" Neville asked, watching Harry carefully. "Or is there something that you're not saying?"

Harry sighed. "I've - had trouble letting anyone get close. Since my last... relationship...." He darted a pleading glance at Neville. "He was... it wasn't good."

"Oh, Harry," Neville murmured, reaching for the other man again, not wanting to simply pull him into his arms, in case it startled him.

Harry stayed where he was, looking helplessly at Neville. "I can't - I can't talk about it," he whispered. "But -" he leaned forward and reached a hand tentatively across to Neville. "For the first time in a long time, I _wanted_ someone to touch me. You."

Grasping the hand Harry extended toward him lightly, Neville nodded. "I won't push you to talk about it. Just... remember that I'm here if you decide you want to," he said, giving the hand a gentle squeeze. "And... thank you."

Harry's eyes were shiny as Neville took his hand. He took a deep breath. "Neville... I... I'm not sure about that life, about giving up control to you, but I promise that I'll think about it."

Shifting closer to Harry, Neville kept his hand beneath Harry's chin to ensure he wouldn't look away. "I won't leave if you find you can't," Neville reminded gently as he leaned in, his hand sliding to cup the back of Harry's head. "I'm here until you no longer want me," he said before pressing his lips to Harry's.

Harry returned the kiss before pulling back and smiling shyly. "That might take a while."

Neville returned the smile with one of his own, his fingers threading idly through Harry's hair for a moment. "Lucky me," he murmured sincerely as he dipped his head, brushing his lips against Harry's jaw.

Harry leaned forwards, welcoming Neville's touch, and turned to meet Neville's lips with his own. "Me, too," he whispered.

Pulling Harry closer, Neville curled his other arm around his waist again, acknowledging Harry's words by smiling against his lips. Harry smiled into the kiss in response, hesitantly inching closer to Neville. His tongue flicked out briefly to tease against Neville's lips. Neville's lips parted slightly and he tilted his head a bit, deepening their kiss as he laid his hand on Harry's thigh.

Emboldened, Harry sucked gently on Neville's bottom lip, his hand moving up to caress Neville’s cheek with his palm. Moaning in appreciation, Neville tilted his face into Harry's hand, giving the other man's thigh a squeeze. Moving his hand upwards along Harry's thigh, Neville stopped with his fingers just shy of the opening in the other wizard's trousers, squeezing again as he finally broke away from their kiss to breathe.

Harry remained leaning in towards him, breathing heavily. His eyes searched Neville's face for a moment before he squared his shoulders and shifted over so that he could climb back onto the other man's lap.

Watching Harry climb onto his lap, Neville placed both of his hands on his hips, pulling him flush against him as he nuzzled Harry's neck. His lips began tracing a slow line of kisses along his jaw and neck. Harry let out a soft moan and tilted his head to nuzzle along Neville's neck and nip lightly at his earlobe.

His fingers tightening on Harry's hips, Neville groaned against the curve of his neck. "Merlin, I want you," he breathed.

Harry's lips curved into a smile, pressed against Neville's ear. "Do you?" he whispered, licking the shell of his ear.

"Tease," Neville answered affectionately, rolling his hips upward to grind against Harry, who let out a soft whimper at the movement. One of his hands shifted, reaching around to grab Harry's arse, and Neville groaned as Harry continued trailing along his neck and jaw with light, lingering kisses.

Neville leaned his head back with a sigh as Harry's lips moved across his flesh. He ground his hips upward again with a groan, holding Harry tightly to him as he did. Harry wriggled teasingly in Neville's arms as he sucked on a sensitive spot at the base of Neville’s throat. He gasped against Neville's skin as their erections rubbed together roughly.

"Harry," Neville hissed, his hand tightening on Harry's arse. Slipping his other hand between them, Neville tugged open the fabric of Harry's trousers again, his fingers brushing lightly over Harry's length as his trousers and pants were quickly pulled down.

Harry tensed slightly, but continued his ministrations to Neville's neck, jaw and ears, wrapping his arms around the other man's neck and carding through the hair at the back of his head. Wrapping his fingers firmly around the base of Harry's cock, Neville stroked him slowly, breathing heavily as Harry continued to tease him. As Neville's hand began stroking him, Harry closed his eyes and groaned against his neck, thrusting his hips up.

"Like that, Harry?" Neville murmured, turning his face to bring his lips near the other man's ear. As his hand slipped back down towards the base of Harry's shaft, Neville squeezed him lightly.

Harry nodded, nipping more roughly at his ear and moaning at the squeeze. "Please..."

Grinding himself against Harry's arse as the other man writhed in his lap, Neville tightened his hold on Harry's cock, stroking his length a bit more firmly. "Please what, Harry?" he asked, his voice wavering slightly from his desire. "What do you want?"

"You," Harry breathed. "Please, Neville..." He pushed his hips down against Neville's lap.

Neville moaned as Harry pushed back against him, slowing his hand on the other man's cock to a more teasing pace. "I think we're both still much too clothed for that," he murmured, nuzzling Harry' neck.

Harry groaned at Neville's words, burying his face in the other man's neck. "Neville..."

"Yes?" Neville trailed feather light kisses along Harry's jaw.

Harry mumbled something unintelligible against Neville's neck as he reached between them to stroke Neville's erection through his trousers.

Groaning softly as Harry touched him, Neville gave his arse an appreciative squeeze. "I didn't quite catch that, Harry."

Harry kept his face buried in Neville's neck, kissing along the other man's collarbone.

"What is it?" Neville repeated, his voice wavering from his heavy breathing.

Harry lifted his head to meet Neville's eyes, leaning in to press their lips together. "Want you," he whispered.

Grinding himself up against Harry's arse, Neville smiled against his lips. "You have me," he murmured playfully, kissing the side of Harry's mouth as he trailed his lips along his cheek towards his ear. "What do you want me to do?"

Harry leaned his head to nip at Neville's ear teasingly, before whispering into his ear, "Whatever you want. Please..."

"Even if what I want is to fuck you right here?" Neville asked, squeezing Harry's arse again for emphasis, pulling him tighter against him. "Just like this?"

Harry groaned as Neville pulled him closer, bringing their chests flush together. "Oh, fuck, Neville..."

Loosening his hold on Harry's arse, Neville turned his face in towards the other man's neck, placing several lingering kisses against it before he could find his voice to speak again. "Undress for me, Harry?" he murmured at length, his voice rough as he pulled at Harry's trousers. "These are rather in the way."

Harry's green eyes were dilated with need as he shifted to stand before Neville. Harry’s fingers fumbled with his clothing awkwardly as his cheeks tinged pink again.

" _Merlin_ , you're amazing," Neville whispered, his eyes locked on Harry's face as he spoke, hoping that the other man would see that he was sincere. After a moment, his gaze began to wander downward, following the path of Harry's fingers as he fumbled with his clothing. He pulled open his own trousers as he watched him, shifting his weight enough to tug them down.

Harry stripped off his jumper, leaving his t-shirt on, and shoved his trousers and pants down, stepping out of them impatiently. Once done, however, he stood in front of Neville uncertainly.

Neville's eyes roamed hungrily over Harry's body for a moment before he reached for him. Harry allowed himself to be pulled back down against Neville, shifting to straddle the other man as he kissed him eagerly. Groaning as he pulled Harry tightly against his chest again, Neville returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm, his hands trailing over the other man's chest, slowly mapping his body with his fingers. Harry ground his hips down to rub their erections together as the kiss continued, Neville's hands roaming over his body as Harry's hands moved across Neville's shoulders.

Breathing heavily, Neville broke away from the kiss, pressing his face against Harry's neck. "Need you," he whispered, his hands grasping at Harry's hips, moaning as their erections pressed together again.

Harry let out a soft groan at Neville's words, which grew louder as their bodies rubbed together. "Yes..." he murmured.

Curling both of his arms around Harry's waist, Neville nuzzled his neck gently. "Tell me what you need, Harry," he whispered, his hands wandering to Harry's arse as he spoke. "Let me hear you say it."

Harry's hands tugged at Neville's shirt as he ducked his head. "I need you... please..." he said softly, cheeks flaming.

"Need me to what?" he prodded, grinding himself against Harry. "You can say it, Harry," he whispered encouragingly against his neck, following the words up with a series of gentle kisses along his jaw.

Harry pushed Neville's shoulders back against the sofa, leaning in to nip along his ear and jaw a bit more roughly. "I need you to fuck me," he managed, voice tight with desire.

" _Yes_ ," Neville hissed, gripping Harry's arse tightly as he ground into him again. Tilting his face to allow Harry better access to his neck, Neville slipped one of his hands between them, grasping his own cock in his hand as he shifted his hips a bit, using his hand still on Harry's arse to lift him slightly.

Harry shifted his weight, kneeling up against Neville and letting the other man direct what was about to happen.

Muttering a wandless lubrication spell against the curve of Harry's throat, Neville nuzzled his neck again as he positioned himself against Harry's arse. "Tell me if I'm hurting you," he whispered, his hand lightly stroking the small of the other man's back as he spoke. "I swear I'll stop..."

Harry nodded as he pushed back against Neville. "Just... be gentle," he whispered. "This time, be gentle."

"Of course," Neville murmured, his hands grasping Harry's hips to help guide him down slowly onto his cock. Nuzzling Harry's neck again, Neville left a trail of kisses down toward his shoulder, listening for any signs that Harry was in pain as he felt himself slowly pushing into him.

Harry's breath left him in a slow hiss as Neville pressed inside him. He struggled to relax against the intrusion, sinking slowly down onto Neville's cock as he tried to take him fully inside, until he felt Neville's skin come flush against his arse. Harry dropped his head onto Neville's shoulder as he stilled, breathing hard. "Oh, gods..."

Taking a steadying breath to keep from moving too soon, Neville stroked Harry's hips soothingly. "You feel _so good_ ," he murmured, his voice strained with desire. "Tell me-" he started, breaking off to take another steadying breath, his fingers grasping at Harry's hips again "-when you're ready."

"Oh, Merlin," Harry groaned against his neck. "It's been so long..." Harry rocked his hips against the other man, shuddering as the movement sent shocks running up his spine. "Neville...."

"We'll go as slow as you need, Harry," Neville said, moaning when Harry moved against him. His fingers tightened on Harry's hips as he pressed his forehead against his shoulder, breathing heavily.

Harry braced himself against Neville's shoulders as he began to move up and down on the other man's cock. He let out a needy moan as the angle pushed Neville's cock firmly against his prostate.

" _Fuck_ , Harry," Neville groaned, leaning his head back. Removing one of his hands from the other man's hips, Neville cupped Harry's cheek against his palm, pulling him in for a hungry kiss.

Harry returned the kiss passionately, holding tightly to Neville's shoulders as he moved atop the other man.

Groaning against Harry's lips, Neville deepened their kiss, the hand still on Harry's hip slipping between them to grasp the base of his cock. Squeezing him briefly, Neville began sliding his hand along Harry's length in time with his movements.

Harry gasped as Neville began stroking him, his movements speeding up as he tried not to thrust into Neville's hand. "No... I won't... last..." he choked out as he tried to keep his rhythm steady.

Smirking, Neville gave Harry's cock another squeeze. "Neither will I, with you moving on me like this." Bringing his lips closer to Harry's ear, he gently nipped at the lobe with his teeth before adding, "And I want to make you come before I do."

Harry gave a broken whimper and increased his pace as best he could. "I... ohh..."

Moaning in appreciation, Neville matched the pace of his hand to that of Harry's movements on his cock. "So perfect," he whispered against the curve of Harry's neck, taking an unsteady breath as he felt himself nearing the end.

"Neville, I - " Harry desperately fought for breath as he rocked back against Neville's shaft and thrust forward into his hand. "I'm going to -"

"Come for me, Harry," Neville breathed, giving Harry's cock another squeeze as he spoke before stroking his shaft a little faster. Turning his face toward his again, Neville claimed Harry's lips again, moaning against them as he ground himself against his arse.

The dual stimulation finally pushed Harry over the edge and he cried out into the kiss as he came, in a series of violent shudders, shooting streams of come against both their torsos. "Ahh!"

"Gods, Harry," Neville groaned, loosening his hold on the other man's cock while tightening his hand around his hip. Thrusting up into him a few more times, Neville finally tensed as he came inside him with a low groan.

Harry slumped against Neville's chest, breathing hard, as they came down from their climaxes. "Neville..." he panted, nuzzling the other man's neck.

Wrapping his arms around Harry's waist, Neville smiled as Harry nuzzled his neck. "Yes, Harry?" he asked, placing a kiss against Harry's shoulder before lifting his head to look at him.

Harry leaned in to kiss him deeply, Neville's half-hard cock still inside him. His arms wrapped around the other man's neck.

Sighing contently into his kiss, Neville tightened his arms slightly around Harry's waist, holding him close. "You're... _so_ amazing," he whispered when they finally parted, leaning his forehead against Harry's.

"M'not," Harry mumbled, cheeks flushed. He snuggled bonelessly against Neville.

"You are," Neville said, sliding his arm over Harry's back as he held him close. "And I'm a very lucky man right now." Placing a gentle kiss against the fringe of Harry's hair, Neville smiled contently as he repeated, " _Very_ lucky."

Harry's cheeks tinged red and he buried his face in the crook of Neville's shoulder.

Chuckling, Neville squeezed Harry lightly. "As much as I would love to stay like this all night- and believe me, I could," Neville started, reaching up to stroke the back of Harry's head and thread his fingers through his hair. "We're going to have to move at some point, before we stick like this."

Harry gave a soft whine of protest, before sighing and nodding. "You're right..." He shifted his weight awkwardly as he tried to move to the other end of the sofa.

Stopping him before he could pull fully away, Neville leaned in to brush his lips against Harry's again. "Harry..."

Harry returned the kiss softly, his lashes fluttering closed as he leaned into Neville.

Stopping short of pulling Harry back into his lap, Neville broke away after a moment, smiling, and pressed his forehead against Harry's again. "Would you...like to stay here tonight, Harry?"

Harry nodded, looking down shyly. "I'd - I'd like that," he whispered with a small smile.

His thoughts about cleaning the two of them up temporarily forgotten, Neville pulled Harry against him again, kissing him soundly with a smile.

Harry responded eagerly to the kiss, cuddling against him contentedly.

Wrapping his arms around Harry's waist again, Neville held him close, sighing happily when Harry cuddled against him.

Harry laid his head on Neville's shoulder, one hand coming up to trace lazy circles on his chest as they sat together. Harry, far less clothed than Neville, shivered slightly in the chill.

"I think now might be a good time for us to move," Neville said, placing a light kiss against Harry's hair. "You're getting cold."

"I'm alright," Harry objected.

Neville chuckled softly. “Saying that doesn't keep me from noticing you shiver, you know.”

"But I'm comfortable," Harry grumped.

“So am I,” Neville murmured, tightening his arms around Harry. “But you'll be just as comfortable in my bed; and warmer, I imagine.”

Harry sighed and nuzzled against him. "I suppose."

“Come on, Harry,” Neville said, smiling as he nudged Harry. “If you don't move now, I'm carrying you.”

Harry snorted as he shifted his weight off Neville's lap. "I know you've filled out a bit since Hogwarts, Nev, but there's no way you're carrying me anywhere."

“True,” Neville agreed, grinning cheekily at Harry as he stood. “But the threat of it got you moving, didn't it?”

Harry grinned and held his hand out to pull Neville to his feet as well. "Prat."

Neville smiled and wrapped one arm around Harry's waist as he kissed him softly. "Come on," he whispered. "Let's go to bed."

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

_Harry struggled against the magic holding him in place, stifling a sob as his movements jostled broken bones. He had a vague memory of being tripped as he came through the door, the hard sole of a shoe coming down onto his wrist with a sickening crunch, his world narrowing to nothing but darkness, and pain, and that familiar, angry voice…_

Harry's sleep grew more restless, tossing and turning in the unfamiliar surroundings. He flung one arm across the bed, soundly hitting Neville.

Jerked out of his sleep by the blow, Neville blinked his eyes open in the darkness of the bedroom at Harry thrashing beside him. Reaching a hand out to the other man, he grasped his shoulder to gently shake him. "Harry?"

Deep in his nightmare, Harry didn't wake immediately. His brow furrowed and he shook his head. "No," he mumbled in his sleep. "Please... no..."

"Come on, Harry," Neville said, louder than before. He gave Harry’s shoulder another light shake as he added, "Wake up."

Harry's eyes opened, and he nearly jumped from the bed before catching hold of himself. "Hey..."

Neville’s brow furrowed as he released his hold on Harry’s shoulder to slide over his arm in a soothing gesture. "Are you all right?"

Harry's breath had quickened, and he clenched his hands by his sides to hide his trembling as he nodded. "I'm sorry, Neville. I... nightmare. I'm sorry I woke you."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Neville asked, his voice laced with concern.

Harry shook his head quickly, panic rising. "No!" Taking a deep breath, he added, "It was just a bad dream. Go back to sleep."

"You’re sure?" Neville laid back onto his side and looked up at Harry uncertainly, tugging at his arm for him to join him.

"I'm sure, Neville," Harry whispered, as he laid back and snuggled against the other man. "I really am sorry."

"Don't be," Neville murmured sleepily, draping his arm around Harry's waist to pull him closer. "Everything’s all right. It was just a dream."

Harry stared into the darkness for hours, Neville’s comforting embrace soothing away the remnants of his nightmare, until Neville’s soft, even breathing finally lulled him to sleep.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	3. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
> 

Chapter 4

 

Harry fidgeted as he sat across the table from Neville in the cozy dining room in Neville's flat. "Thank you for dinner, Neville," he said with a smile. "Everything was delicious."

"Glad you enjoyed it," Neville said, returning Harry's smile and watching him fidget curiously. "Is there something on your mind, though, Harry? You seem... anxious."

Harry took a deep breath and met Neville's gaze. "I've been thinking about what you said the other night."

"I see," Neville said quietly, reminding himself not to jump to any conclusions until he'd given Harry a chance to speak. Swallowing back the brief wave of nervousness that came over him, he nodded. "And what conclusions have you come to about it?"

Harry's gaze dropped down to the table. "I was thinking that I..." He cleared his throat nervously. "That I would... that I would like to know more."

Relaxing, Neville reached across the table for Harry's hand, smiling. "I'm sure I've got a few books you could borrow if you wanted. And you're more than welcome to ask me anything."

Harry tried to keep the disappointment off his face when Neville mentioned the books. Pushing the worst of his nervousness aside, he gave Neville's hand a gentle squeeze. "I was hoping I might get more of a ... practical demonstration," he breathed.

Neville's breath caught in his throat at Harry's words and he was speechless for a moment before he managed to compose himself again. "I'd like that, Harry, but..." Looking down at their hands, he began tracing small circles against the palm of Harry's hand with his thumb. "You have to be sure about this, Harry."

"Why?" Harry asked. "Why can't we just... see how things go? Take it slowly?"

"We can," Neville answered, his eyes searching Harry's face for any signs of doubt. "We can, Harry, it's just...I need to be sure you really want to try, before anything happens. I don't want this to scare you off."

Harry chewed on his lower lip before raising his eyes to meet Neville's again. "Neville... over the past few weeks, we've gotten... really close. I... I think it's clear I've fallen pretty hard for you." He blushed red at the admission, but continued, "It's a part of you; something you need. I want to try."

"I've fallen for you, too, you know," Neville told him, smiling as he gave Harry's hand another squeeze "And if you're sure about trying, then we will."

"You have?" Harry asked with a hopeful smile.

"Of course I have," Neville said, stroking the back of Harry's hand gently.

Harry's smiled broadened as he looked down at their joined hands. "Also… I have to be in control all the time. People still look to me for answers; it’s one of the reasons why the _Prophet_ is still following me around. I can’t deny that the idea of giving up control to you has a certain appeal, and…I want to try. For you; for _us_." He looked up at Neville's face. "Tonight?"

"If that's what you want," Neville agreed with a small nod and smile.

"It is," Harry answered. " _You're_ what I want, Nev."

"And _you're_ what I want," Neville said, lifting Harry's hand up and leaning in enough to brush his lips against the backs of his knuckles. "But I think it's time we move, before I try to pull you into my arms from across the table."

Harry chuckled. "Let me take care of the washing up; it's the least I can do after that wonderful meal."

"As much as I appreciate the offer," Neville said as he sat back in his seat, his gaze focused intently on Harry's face, "I think the dishes can wait a while. Don't you?"

Harry's breath hitched and his cock gave an answering jump at the tone in Neville's voice, as well as the look on his face. "I - uhm - all right?"

The corner of his mouth twitching, Neville stood and pushed in his chair. He stepped around the table while waiting for Harry to do the same, reaching for the other man to pull him into his arms.

Harry stepped into Neville's arms with a grin. He looked up through his fringe at the taller man. "Well... now that you have me, what _are_ you going to do with me?" he teased.

Wrapping one arm around Harry's waist to pull him flush to his chest, Neville reached the other up to thread his fingers through his hair. "I'd hate to ruin the surprise," Neville teased back, before leaning in to press their lips together.

Harry moaned into the kiss, closing his eyes and wrapping his arms around Neville's torso. "Mmhmm," he murmured as they broke apart.

"Would you prefer the sofa, or my bed?" Neville asked, brushing his lips along Harry's jaw. "I want you to choose."

Harry's breath hitched again. "The - the bed," he whispered.

Smiling against the curve of Harry's neck, Neville placed one last kiss there before pulling back and pressing another kiss against Harry's lips as he straightened fully. Using the arm around the other man's waist to hold him close, Neville led him towards the bedroom of his flat.

Harry kept one arm wrapped around Neville's waist as the taller man led him down the hall. He firmly clamped down on the butterflies in his stomach as Neville open the door to the bedroom and ushered him inside. Once there, Harry looked at Neville uncertainly. "What - what should I do?"

Guiding Harry towards the bed, Neville wrapped his arms around him again and leaned in, pressing their lips together and pulling the other man into his lap as he sat on the edge of his bed. "Is there anything you'd _like_ to do?" he asked when he finally pulled away, his hands moving to grab Harry's arse lightly. "Anything you imagined trying when you thought about all this?"

Harry blushed and shook his head. "Neville, please, I - I want to know what you like."

Chuckling, Neville nuzzled Harry's neck. "This isn't all about what I want, Harry," he said, brushing his lips along the curve of the other man's throat. "It's as much about pleasing you, to me." As he reached Harry's shoulder, he tilted his head to the other side, leaving a slow trail of kisses back up toward Harry's jaw. "Although..."

Harry moaned as Neville nuzzled and kissed along his neck. He closed his eyes and brought his arms up to curl loosely around Neville's neck. "Al-although?" he asked breathlessly.

“Get on your knees for me, Harry," he ordered quietly, his lips beside Harry's ear. Giving Harry's arse a squeeze, Neville gently nipped at the sensitive spot behind the other man's ear.

Harry started in surprise and stared at Neville for a moment, hesitating, before nodding and slipping out of Neville's lap and onto his knees on the floor beside him. He looked up at Neville uncertainly. "Like this?"

Neville's breath caught in his throat as he looked down at Harry. "Yes," he answered at last, reaching one hand out to gently stroke Harry's cheek. Unable to help himself, he leaned down again, pressing his lips to Harry's somewhat roughly.

Harry moaned and shivered, his eyelids fluttering closed as Neville kissed him hard. "Mmm," he hummed into the kiss.

"Do you know what I want, Harry?" Neville asked when he finally broke away, his voice wavering slightly from his heavy breathing.

Harry looked up at him nervously, but as he thought about it, he realised that he was still in familiar territory. He reached tentatively for the fastenings on Neville's trousers. "This?" he asked, in what he hoped was a seductive murmur.

" _Yes_ ," Neville whispered, his fingers threading into Harry's hair. His eyes focused intently on Harry's face as the other man worked to open his trousers.

Harry unbuckled his belt and loosed the fastenings on his trousers. He leaned in and nuzzled the bulge that was revealed, before slipping his hand into the waistband of Neville’s pants and sliding the fabric gently down to free his erection. Looking up and keeping a careful eye on Neville’s reaction, he licked slowly along the underside of the shaft before taking the head into his mouth and sucking gently.

Neville groaned as Harry's lips closed around his cock, his eyes falling half-closed as he looked down at the other man. Resisting the urge to buck his hips upward, he tangled his fingers in Harry's hair in encouragement.

Harry relaxed and began to move, sliding his lips along the shaft as he rested his palms on Neville's thighs. He took as much of Neville's length as he could, relaxing his throat as he closed his eyes and lost himself in the sensations and the feeling of Neville's hand in his hair.

Bracing himself on his other arm, Neville leaned back, his hips rocking as Harry sucked him. His fingers in Harry's hair tightened and released a few times as he felt himself sliding into the other man's throat, and he moaned in appreciation. " _Fuck_ , Harry..."

Harry hummed around Neville's length as the other man moaned, but he continued with the rhythm he'd set up, steady and smooth. One hand crept down to gently caress Neville's balls.

"Ooh..." Neville groaned, his hips bucking involuntarily. Looking down at Harry, he applied a bit of gentle pressure with the hand on the back of his head. "Faster," he murmured, struggling to slow his heavy breathing.

Harry sped up his movements obediently, his hand massaging Neville's balls and sliding along the base of the shaft. His other hand squeezed against Neville's thigh.

Neville rolled his hips upward in small circles, his breath coming in short, unsteady pants. Pressing his eyes closed tightly for a moment, he forced himself to take a slow, deep breath as he felt his balls tighten briefly. "Harry..."

Harry could tell Neville was close and sped up even more, pushing him toward the edge. His hand tightened around the base of the shaft teasingly before relaxing to simply hold him steady as he bobbed his head back and forth.

Neville's fingers tightened in Harry's hair, his head leaning back with a sharp inhalation as Harry's pace quickened. Bucking his hips upward again, a low groan rumbled in his throat as he lost himself to the sensations and came.

Harry swallowed as best he could, although his rhythm was thrown off by Neville tugging on his hair and bucking his hips at the same time. He regained his equilibrium and continued sucking as Neville came down from his climax.

Breathing hard, Neville relaxed his hold on Harry's hair after a long moment. His hand gently threaded through his hair again as he struggled to catch his breath, leaning heavily on the arm braced against the bed for support. "That was... _amazing_ ," he murmured.

Harry pulled himself away from Neville's softening cock with a wet _pop_. He rested his cheek on Neville's thigh and looked up at him, eyes shining. "It - yeah?" he asked tentatively.

Moving his hand to stroke Harry's cheek affectionately, Neville smiled down at him and nodded. "You're wonderful, Harry."

Harry blushed and nuzzled Neville's thigh.

"You look so good when you blush like that," Neville said softly, slipping his fingers beneath Harry's chin and lifting his face. Leaning down, he brushed their lips together and smiled. "Get back up on the bed."

Harry blushed deeper and placed a soft kiss to the inside of Neville's thigh before standing awkwardly to sit on the edge of the bed beside him.

Chuckling at Harry's blushing reaction, Neville placed his hand on Harry's thigh as he sat beside him. He leaned in toward him again, nuzzling the other man's neck. "Is there anything you don't want me to do, Harry?"

Harry's eyes widened and he tensed slightly. "I - I don't know. Like what?" he asked, a little fearfully.

Feeling Harry tense, Neville turned his face to place a light kiss against his cheek. "Would you be comfortable letting me bind your wrists?" he asked, pulling back to look into Harry's eyes. "You don't have to if you're not up for it, Harry," he assured, reaching up to stroke his cheek gently.

Harry nodded slowly and leaned in to kiss him before holding his wrists out, palms up, in a gesture of submission.

Neville smiled at Harry's willingness, stroking his cheek with his thumb a moment longer before standing. Opening the lowest drawer of the stand beside his bed, he withdrew a pair of new-looking leather cuffs, kicking the drawer closed as he straightened again. "Do you know what a panic snap is for, Harry?" he asked, sitting beside Harry again on the bed.

Harry shook his head, his eyes riveted on the leather cuffs in Neville's hands.

"If you don't feel comfortable in these," he started, lifting one of the cuffs so that Harry could see, Neville pointed at the snaps that were attached to the leather. "Or if I can't get them off fast enough for you, trigger this and the cuffs will come open." Neville demonstrated for him on the cuff in his hand, showing Harry where to press to release the snaps himself.

Harry reached a hand out to stroke the leather tentatively before testing the panic snap for himself. He gave a slow nod. "Al-alright," he paused. "Neville?"

"Yes?" Neville looked into Harry's eyes, ready to toss the cuffs aside if Harry changed his mind.

Harry looked curiously at Neville. "I - maybe this is a foolish question, but... I thought the point of bondage was that I _couldn't_ get away?"

"That's...part of the appeal," Neville agreed, nodding slowly. "But safety comes first, Harry. There should always be a way to get free if you need to, I think. And," he added, glancing down at the cuffs with a smile. "There is a certain appeal to knowing that you can free yourself in an instant and knowing that you feel safe enough not to do so."

Harry considered that as his fingertips continued stroking over the leather. "So, I - even if I don't have my wand... I'm not really helpless," he said softly. He smiled at Neville. "Thank you for explaining it."

Leaning in, Neville pressed a kiss to the fringe of Harry's hair, smiling at him. "You're welcome," he murmured, glancing down at Harry's fingertips stroking the leather of the cuff. "Are you ready?"

Harry took a deep breath. "Yes," he said quietly, holding his wrists out again.

Neville took one of his offered hands, brushing his lips against Harry’s wrist before closing one of the cuffs around it, fitting it snugly, but not tightly, in place, before repeating the process with Harry's other wrist. He glanced up at Harry's face before connecting them, searching for any signs of doubt before he snapped them together.

Harry looked at Neville in surprise, swallowing hard, but a tiny shiver went through him at the sensation of being bound.

As he clasped the two cuffs together, Neville leaned in to press his lips to Harry's. "Are you all right?" he asked, squeezing one of Harry's hands.

Harry nodded slowly. "Yes," he whispered. "It's... I'm all right." His hand gave Neville's an answering squeeze.

"Remember, you can get out of them if you need to," Neville reminded, giving Harry a reassuring smile.

Harry nodded again. "I know. I... don't want to, though," he answered, a little shyly.

Slipping one hand behind Harry's head, Neville pulled him closer, claiming his lips in a hungry kiss, deepening it when Harry's lips parted beneath his. Neville laid his other hand on Harry's thigh, sliding it up slowly toward the bulge in Harry's trousers.

Harry leaned into the kiss, his joined hands coming to rest tentatively on Neville's thigh. He sighed in appreciation as Neville's hand moved upward.

Smiling against Harry's lips, Neville pulled away, trailing feather light kisses across the other man's jaw. Harry blinked in confusion as Neville pulled back, biting his lower lip uncertainly and searching Neville's face for clues on what he should do or say next.

"Harry," Neville said quietly, giving his thigh a gentle squeeze. "Lie down and put your arms over your head."

Harry scooted farther onto the bed and lay backward a bit awkwardly. He raised his arms to rest them on the bed above his head. "Like this?"

"Just like that," Neville answered in an approving tone, shifting his position to straddle Harry's waist. Leaning down, he nuzzled the other man's neck. "Do you remember what I told you that first night, Harry? About what I like to do?"

Harry's eyes were wide as he nodded breathlessly, his hips coming up to press against Neville briefly. "Y-yes..."

Chuckling against the curve of Harry's neck, Neville shifted his weight to slip his hand between them, placing it teasingly against the bulge in Harry's trousers. "Can you stay just like this and let me tease you?"

Harry groaned. "I - I don't know," he admitted, his hips pushing up against Neville's hand almost involuntarily.

"Try for me," Neville encouraged quietly, responding to Harry's movement by squeezing him lightly through the fabric.

"I will," Harry whispered, moaning as Neville’s hand continued to tease him.

Pleased with his answer, Neville straightened over him, continuing to rub Harry lightly through his trousers as his other hand opened the fastenings. Harry squirmed as his breathing sped up, his hips moving a bit as he tried to lie still as he'd been instructed.

Neville's fingers made quick work of opening Harry's trousers, moving from his position straddling the other man to settle between his legs. Leaning down, he brushed his lips over the newly exposed flesh of Harry's waist as he pulled the other man's trousers and pants down past his hips. Harry whimpered at the kiss, hissing as the fabric of his pants and trousers scraped over his erection.

Glancing upward along Harry's body, Neville curled his fingers around the base of Harry's cock, squeezing it lightly before slowly sliding along his length. Harry moaned, pushing up into Neville's hand.  
Chuckling quietly, Neville brushed his lips against the head of Harry's cock, his tongue darting out to taste him before his lips wrapped around it, his hand squeezing at the base again.

Harry had lifted his head to look at Neville and now let it drop back against the mattress with a groan. " _Fuck_ , Neville...."

"Something wrong, Harry?" Neville asked playfully, pulling his mouth away from Harry's cock when the other man moved. His hand slid along his shaft slowly, squeezing lightly toward the base and loosening his grasp until his fingers were barely brushing against the flesh as he approached the head.

"N-no," Harry stammered, raising his head to look down his body at the other man. His hips came up off the mattress again in a vain attempt to prolong contact.

"Hold still," Neville reminded him gently, lightening his touch further when Harry moved again. His eyes locked on Harry's as he leaned in, brushing his lips teasingly against the head of his cock again. "Hold still and I'll give you more."

Harry gave a strangled whimper but nodded, making a visible effort to relax his tense muscles and lie still. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry," Neville soothed, placing his unoccupied hand against Harry's thigh. "I enjoy seeing you like this."

Harry blushed, closing his eyes. "You do?" he asked tentatively. "Why?"

"I think you know why, Harry," Neville murmured, brushing his lips teasingly along the length of Harry's shaft. "You're giving yourself over to me. Trusting me enough to do this with you..." His hand on Harry's thigh shifted upwards, and he pulled back to look up at Harry's face. "You look amazing like this, Harry."

Harry's brow furrowed slightly at Neville's words. He did trust Neville, but he didn't think he was amazing or special or any of the other things Neville'd been murmuring. All he said, though, was, "Of course I trust you, Neville..."

Noticing the slight furrowing of Harry's brow, Neville stroked his upper thigh gently. "You do look amazing, Harry," he whispered.

Harry blushed deeper, chewing on his lower lip as he shook his head. "I'm not," he whispered, almost too softly for Neville to hear.

"Harry," Neville said, his tone firm, although not sharp, as he withdrew from the other man, sitting up between his legs to look at him. "Look at me."

Harry looked at him with wide eyes, his body tensing as Neville pulled away from him. Though he tried very hard to hide it, the apprehension and fear in his eyes was unmistakable.

"Have I ever lied to you?" Neville asked him, softening his tone as he saw Harry tense. "Or given you reason to think I would?"

"No," Harry answered, shaking his head. "No, of course not."

"Then why do you doubt me when I say things like that?" Neville shifted to lie beside Harry on the bed, placing one of his hands against the other man's cheek and stroking it with his thumb.

Harry nuzzled into the touch. "I don't know," he admitted timidly. "I guess I just... can't see myself like that."

"You're perfect, Harry," Neville whispered, leaning in to brush their lips together. "How can I make you see that?"

Harry stared up into Neville's eyes, his mouth opening several times as though about to speak, and closing it again, silently, each time. "I don't know," he finally managed.

"Well, that won't stop me from trying," Neville told him, smiling before slipping his hand to the back of Harry's head and pulling him in for a kiss.

Harry moaned into the kiss as the tension left his body in a rush. He brought his joined arms over Neville's head to wrap around his neck.

Neville threaded his fingers through Harry's hair, tilting his face to deepen the kiss.

Harry pulled himself more tightly against Neville and gave a soft whimper as he broke off the kiss and laid his forehead against Neville's cheek.

Smiling, Neville continued to thread his fingers through Harry's hair. "You know, I could lay like this with you for hours," he said, his voice muffled as he buried his face against Harry's neck.

"All right." Harry's response was soft and low. "Anything you want, Neville. Please."

"Tell me what _you_ want, Harry," Neville said, nuzzling Harry's neck.

Harry was silent for a long moment. His cheeks were flushed brightly as he whispered, "I want... I want to be yours."

Neville's breath caught in his throat and he pulled back enough to look into Harry's eyes. "In what way?" he asked uncertainly, feeling his heart race.

Harry lowered his eyes shyly. "In every way, Neville," he murmured.

"Harry," Neville breathed, grasping Harry's jaw and lifting his face to force him to meet his eyes. "Do you realize what you're saying here?"

Harry swallowed nervously. "I _think_ so," he answered. "I told you I wanted to try."

"You did, but this..." Neville trailed off, his hand releasing Harry's jaw and moving downward, his fingers ghosting along the curve of his throat as he took a shuddering breath to calm himself. "This isn't something I expected when you said that."

"Please, Neville," Harry's voice was strained with worry. "Let me try to be what you want. Please?"

Neville's eyes focussed on Harry's intently. "You... _Harry_ ," he whispered, pulling the other man in for another kiss. "You're exactly what I want, " he said when he pulled away, pressing his forehead to Harry's. "With or without that..."

Harry closed his eyes and stilled at Neville's words, but then spoke, tentatively, as the other man trailed off. "But it's important to you. I read up on it a little..." he trailed off and kissed him. " _Please._ I want to try, Neville."

Neville inhaled slowly, hoping to calm the rapid beating of his heart at what Harry was telling him. Finally, he nodded in agreement.

"Yeah?" Harry asked timidly. "I'll try, Neville, really I will. I've... never done anything like that; you're going to have to show me a lot..." He trailed off and cuddled closer to him.

Wrapping his arm around Harry's waist, Neville pulled him flush against him. "What have you already learned?" he asked, stroking the small of Harry's back gently.

Harry hesitated. "Only a little," he admitted. "After you talked to me about it, I raided Hermione's library; she had a couple of books about it..."

Smiling, Neville tightened his arm around Harry's waist. "Go on," he encouraged.

Harry swallowed nervously. "Everything I read said that things are different in each relationship," he said. "But basically, I am promising to do what you tell me.”

"That's a place to start," Neville murmured, removing his arm from around Harry's waist and gently adjusting their position until he was straddling his waist again, pinning the other man to the bed.

Harry whimpered as Neville moved his cuffed hands from around his neck and placed them back above his head. "Tell me what you want," Harry asked. "With this... please tell me."

"There are a lot of things I would want, Harry," he started, leaning in to kiss and gently nip at Harry's neck. "Much of it depends on you, and what you want out of this as well. But for starters..." Neville trailed off as he marked a trail toward Harry's ear, his hand gliding along the other man's side. "I want to make you mine."

Harry moaned and tilted his head to give Neville better access. "But... what does that mean, to you?" he asked, a little more desperately. "I want to understand; there's so much I don't know..."

“It means giving me all of the control,” Neville murmured, the hand that had traced Harry's side slipping between them to stroke his thigh. “If I give you an order, I'd expect you to obey it, no matter where we are or what we're doing. And if there's something that you want,” he added, moving his hand toward Harry's groin, squeezing gently, “I'd expect you to ask my permission.” Neville punctuated his statement with a nip at the sensitive spot behind Harry's ear before kissing back along his jaw toward his lips. “This isn't just about sex for me, Harry,” he added, looking into the other man's eyes. “I want this all of the time.”

Harry's breath hitched. "All the time?" he whispered faintly. "I -" he hesitated and then went quiet for a moment. "What - what kind of orders?" he asked instead.

"Anything from lying still while I tease you, to dropping what you're doing just to sit with me so I can hold you." Neville looked into Harry's eyes as he spoke, searching for a sign that he was changing his mind.

Harry relaxed a little; those orders seemed easy enough. "You'd just want to hold me?" he asked.

Neville chuckled, brushing his lips to Harry's for a moment. "Did you think I'd no longer want that, Harry? When I love the feeling of you wrapped in my arms so much?"

Harry smiled sheepishly. "I guess I wasn't thinking of it like that."

"Things like that will never change, Harry," Neville assured quietly. "I promise you that."

Harry brought his hands from over his head and ran them gently along Neville's chest. "What about when we're out with other people? Or if I'm at work?"

"It would be much more subtle in public. Small things, mostly; fetching me a drink, or staying close to me if we're anyplace that's crowded. Things that other people wouldn't even notice." Neville leaned in to nuzzle Harry's neck, the hand on his thigh squeezing lightly again. "There would never be anything to interfere with work, but...I may tell you how to spend your downtime there, if you find yourself with some."

Harry considered everything Neville had said. So far, there was nothing too scary or, really, all that different than what had happened in his last relationship. The thought of his former lover brought him up short. "What if... what if something happens and I can't follow your orders?"

"That would...depend," Neville answered, choosing his answer carefully. "If it's that you honestly couldn't, it would never be fair to hold you accountable for things beyond your control. If you chose not to follow through, on the other hand, that would be different..."

Harry chewed his lower lip as he thought about that. "What ... what if I chose not to?"

Neville frowned against Harry's neck, mulling that question over. "We would have to talk about why, before anything else. I would want to understand why you chose to disobey me, before I decided how to approach correcting you for it."

Harry gave a soft sigh. "That sounds... fair," he said.

“You seem hesitant," Neville said quietly, nuzzling Harry's neck again.

Harry nuzzled Neville in return. "No...I just, well, I don't want to disappoint you."

"You'll do brilliantly, Harry," Neville reassured, pulling back enough to press his lips to Harry's. "I know you will."

Harry returned the kiss eagerly. "I'll try. I want to try."

"There's...something else that being mine would mean for you," Neville murmured, removing his hand from Harry's thigh and bringing it up to trace the column of his throat lightly. "Not...right away, but..."

Harry's breath hitched. One of Hermione's books had gone into collaring and claiming in great - if somewhat scary - detail. "A - a collar?" he whispered.

"Yes," Neville said, his eyes focussing on Harry's, in hopes of staving off the tantalizing image the idea placed in his mind. "You read about them?"

Harry nodded, eyes wide. "A little..."

"What do you know?" Neville asked, his gaze shifting to follow the path of his fingers as the continued to trace the curve of Harry's neck gently.

Harry swallowed. "I don't - I don't know. What I read said that that would mean I was your slave... that you would _own_ me," he whispered. "I don't know ..."

"That's one interpretation," Neville said. "It's as much up to us to interpret as anything else in all of this, really. For me, it would be a physical statement that you're mine." Turning his attention back to Harry's face, Neville withdrew his hand from his neck to stroke his cheek affectionately. "If things developed into you becoming my slave, Harry, that would be a long time off. It would be more of a...training collar, if you prefer."

Harry looked at him in confusion. "A ...training?"

Neville chuckled. "If you want to give this a try, do you expect everything to change for us overnight? It's a process."

Harry let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. "Right. Brilliant. Process."

"Are you still...all right with this?" Neville asked.

Harry cleared his throat. "I - I won't lie to you, Neville, it's a little overwhelming. But it doesn't change my mind."

"Merlin, what did I do to deserve you?" Neville whispered, leaning in to nuzzle Harry's neck.

Harry sighed. "Must have been pretty bad," he teased.

Neville chuckled again. "Whatever it was, I'd do it again, if it means having you here with me. So perfect," he whispered, trailing his hand over Harry's chest slowly.

Harry blushed. "Ohh...” he leaned in to nuzzle Neville's neck. “You’ll let me try?"

"Oh yes," Neville murmured against Harry's neck, kissing a slow trail down toward his shoulder.

Harry let out another slow breath and smiled shyly. "All right then."

Neville returned the smile as he reached for Harry's hands against his chest, moving them gently to pin them above the other man's head again.

Harry's breath hitched. "Sorry..."

"You've done nothing wrong," Neville assured quietly. "Now, I have a bit of a...challenge for you," he said, the corners of his mouth twitching in amusement. “Are you ready?”

"A challenge?" Harry's voice rose an octave before he cleared his throat. "Um. Yes?"

Neville released his hold on Harry's hands to stroke his cheek. "I want you to hold this position unless I tell you otherwise, understood? If you move, I'll stop until you can be still again."

Harry nodded, eyes wide. "All right."

"And," Neville added, smirking as he ducked his head to bring his lips beside Harry's ear, "you're not to come without asking permission, first."

Harry let out a ragged moan. "I - uhm - _fuck_ , Neville. I'll try..." His cheeks blushed bright red as he agreed.

"Good boy," Neville whispered approvingly against Harry's ear. Slipping his hand between them, he placed it against the other man's thigh, squeezing gently as he turned his face in toward his neck, kissing and nipping his way down slowly toward his shoulder.

Harry shivered at that, tilting his neck slightly to allow Neville better access, but remaining still otherwise.

"That does count as moving, Harry," Neville reprimanded gently, stilling his hand on Harry's thigh.

Harry bit his lip. "I - I'm sorry, Neville," he whispered.

"It's all right," Neville reassured, nuzzling Harry's neck. Sliding his hand up further on Harry's thigh, he resumed kissing his way toward Harry's shoulder, slowly slipping himself down along the other man's body to settle between his legs again.

Harry held very still, practically holding his breath.

Neville settled himself comfortably between his legs, pulling Harry’s trousers down out of his way before leaning over the other man, following the sparse trail of hair beneath his navel with his lips.

Harry whimpered, his muscles trembling beneath Neville.

Glancing up along Harry's body to focus on his face, Neville wrapped his fingers around the base of Harry's cock, squeezing gently.

Harry let out a small gasp and bit down on his lower lip.

Smirking, Neville slowly began moving his hand along Harry's shaft. "Being still does not mean being silent, Harry," Neville teased, brushing his lips lightly against the head of his cock. "Let me hear you..."

Harry whimpered again. "Gods, Neville..." he moaned.

"That's better," Neville whispered before wrapping his lips around Harry's cock, his hand around the base squeezing again, as he slowly took Harry's length into his mouth.

"Oh, _fuck_..." Harry groaned, his hips bucking in spite of himself. He stilled immediately, trembling.

Pulling back, Neville teasingly trailed the pads of his fingers along Harry's length, keeping his touch light. "Tell me when you're ready to try that again..."

Harry took a few deep breaths. "I - I'm sorry, Neville," he gasped out.

"You don't need to apologise, Harry; you're trying. That's what matters to me." Neville continued trailing his fingers along Harry's shaft, waiting for him to seem calm enough to continue.

Harry nodded. "All right," he whispered. He resumed the position carefully.

Smiling, Neville tightened his hand around Harry’s cock again, stroking his length slowly. The other man moaned, but managed to remain still this time.

Pleased with his response, Neville brushed his lips against the head of Harry's cock again, his tongue darting briefly across the slit as he stroked him.

Harry gasped, whining softly. "Ohh..."

Neville wrapped his lips around the head when Harry managed to remain still, slowly taking him, inch by inch, into his mouth, his eyes focussed on Harry's face to watch his reaction.  
Harry hissed and whimpered, visibly trembling with the effort of remaining still.  
Humming in approval, Neville pulled back along Harry's shaft slowly, until only the head was between his lips as he sucked gently.

Harry cried out, squirming ever so slightly. "Ahh!"

"Much better," Neville murmured in an approving tone as he withdrew again. His hand resumed stroking Harry's length with a teasingly light touch as he watched the other man.

Harry sobbed. "Neville, please..."

"Please what, Harry?" Neville asked, nuzzling Harry's thigh.

Harry whimpered. "I don't know...!"

Neville nuzzled Harry’s thigh, his eyes locked on the other man's face as his hand continued moving slowly along the length of his cock. "It's all right, Harry; just tell me what you need."

Harry chewed on his lower lip. "I... want more..."

"Then hold still," Neville said, smiling against Harry's thigh as he gave the base of his cock a light squeeze.

Harry groaned. "I'm trying..."

"And you're making me proud, Harry." Brushing his lips upward along Harry's shaft, Neville circled the head briefly with his tongue. "You're doing well."

Harry strangled back a moan.  
Wrapping his lips around Harry's cock again, Neville pulled his hand away to push his mouth down to the base in one quick motion, both of his hands massaging Harry's thighs as he did.

Harry cried out again, his hips coming off the mattress sharply. "Ahh! Neville!"

Groaning in approval, Neville swallowed, his throat flexing around the head of Harry's cock. His hands nudged the other man's legs further apart as he sucked.

Harry moaned and thrust upward again desperately, his legs spreading in response to Neville's urging. "Oh, gods... please, Neville..."

"Please what, Harry?" Neville asked as he finally withdrew, breathing somewhat heavily.

Harry groaned and whimpered as Neville pulled back. "More..."

Muttering a wandless lubrication charm, Neville pressed one of his fingers against Harry's entrance teasingly. "Not sure I heard you," he teased, looking up along Harry's body to meet his eyes. " _What_ do you want?"

“Oh, Merlin, Neville... _please_... more..." Harry panted, breathing harshly and squirming underneath him.

Neville groaned as Harry squirmed, feeling his cock twitch at the sight of him. Leaning in to wrap his mouth around Harry's length again, he slowly pushed one finger into him, humming softly around his cock.

Harry could feel himself drawing closer. "Neville, please... I'm going to..." His hips lifted off the bed again.

With a hint of reluctance, Neville pulled back again, straightening as he worked his finger slowly in and out of Harry's arse. "I think you're forgetting something, Harry..."

Harry keened, his hips pumping helplessly. "Please, Neville, please..."

"Please _what_ , Harry?" Neville asked, adding a second finger and curling them slightly. " _Say it._ "

Harry keened even louder, his back arching upward as Neville's fingers brushed his prostate. "Please... I want to come...." he managed, cheeks burning.

"Fuck, yes," Neville hissed, working his fingers a little faster. "Come for me, Harry!" Wrapping his other hand around Harry's cock, Neville matched the pace of his stroking with that of his other hand, urging Harry closer.

Harry arched off the bed with a loud cry as Neville drove him to the edge and pushed him over ruthlessly. He came with a loud groan and a violent shudder, shooting streams of milky-white over Neville's hand and his own stomach.

"Good boy, Harry," Neville groaned, lightly stroking Harry's cock a few more times before releasing him and slowly withdrawing his fingers from his arse. Muttering a quiet cleaning spell, he shifted above Harry as the other man came down off his climax, slowly releasing the cuffs around his wrists and pressing a light kiss to each as he removed the bands of leather.

Harry trembled as Neville released him, immediately curling onto his side to cuddle closely to the other man. He buried his face in Neville's neck.

Neville wrapped his arms tightly around Harry, holding him close and stroking a hand along his back. "You did so well, Harry," he whispered, placing a kiss against his cheek. "Are you all right?

Harry nodded, clinging tightly to him, but there was a suspicious wetness beginning to dampen Neville's shoulder.

Swallowing the lump that rose in his throat, Neville tightened his arms around Harry. "Harry, what's wrong?" he asked, trying to sound calm despite his voice cracking.

Harry pulled back and gave his eyes an impatient swipe. "I'm all right, Neville. I'm just a little... overwhelmed."

Neville reached out to grasp Harry's hand, cupping his cheek with the other and wiping at his eyes for him. "I...I'm sorry, Harry," he whispered. "I shouldn't have asked for so much, to begin with."

Harry shook his head. "Please, no... I want to do it. It was just... intense," he whispered, eyes widening with concern. "Please, Neville… don't pull back from this, just because I'm an emotional git."

Neville’s moment of panic passed and he nodded, realizing he hadn't hurt Harry like he'd feared. "Lie back down and let me hold you," he said softly, stroking Harry's cheek.

Harry snuggled against the taller man, kissing his chest gently. He brought his hands up to drag Neville's shirt up slightly, running his fingers across the bared flesh.

Smiling, Neville buried his face in Harry's hair, stroking his back. "You made me proud, Harry," he murmured, placing a gentle kiss against the fringe of Harry's hair. "Very proud."

Harry blushed deeper, ducking his head. "I did?"

Slipping two fingers beneath Harry's chin, Neville tipped his face up to look at him, his smile widening. "Yes; you were wonderful."

Harry nuzzled Neville's neck in response. "I'm glad," he whispered shyly. "I ... I liked it. It was difficult, though..."

Neville slid his hand over Harry’s back soothingly. “What was difficult about it for you?”

"Staying so still..." Harry whispered. "Not being able to touch you. Knowing I was holding still only because you asked me... that I was choosing to obey and make myself helpless..."

“Were you really helpless, though?” Neville asked, pulling back enough to look into Harry’s eyes. “I know it might have felt like you were, but in a way, you had more control over things than I did, Harry.”

Harry looked at him curiously. "I ... don't understand?"

“As you said, you were only still because I asked, not because I forced you to be. You knew how to release yourself from the cuffs, as well, so if you’d wanted to be free, I couldn’t have stopped you.” Neville brought one hand up from around Harry’s waist to caress his cheek lightly. “I can tell you what I want from you, but you’re the one with the control over whether or not you obey.”

"I... I hadn't thought of it like that..." Harry said softly, nuzzling Neville's hand.

Neville smiled as Harry nuzzled his hand. “I can only have as much control as you allow me, Harry. You're the one who has to ultimately say whether something I want can happen or not.”

Harry snuggled closer, wrapping one arm around Neville's waist. "What about what I want?" he whispered teasingly.

Neville chuckled, moving his hand to thread through Harry's hair lightly. “Giving you what you want is already my top priority,” he promised.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	4. Chapters 5 & 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
>  src="http://l-files.livejournal.net/userhead/146?v=1320917197" alt="[info]" width="16" height="16" />[ **talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/), and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.

Chapter 5

 

Harry lay curled on his side on the sofa, his head in Neville's lap, gazing into the fire pensively. He was naked, as he was more and more when he was with Neville, but the other man had draped a quilt over him to keep him warm and cozy. He traced small circles on Neville's knee with his free hand, sighing contentedly as Neville's hand carded through his hair.

Hearing Harry sigh, Neville glanced down at the other man and smiled. They'd done very little but sit together like this the entire evening, alternating between pleasant conversations and comfortable silences, and Neville felt a brief flicker of sadness; it was these little moments he was going to miss the most over the next several days, while he was away. "Harry..." he murmured softly, continuing to thread his fingers through the other man's hair.

Harry didn't raise his head, but did rest his palm against Neville's leg. "Mmhmm?"

"Do you remember that night we talked about you being mine?" Neville reached his free hand down to lay it over Harry's, squeezing gently.

Harry nodded. They'd progressed in their games since then, but were still moving slowly. "Of course I do, Nev."

Neville stroked the back of Harry’s hand with his thumb. "I've been thinking it might be time to take our next step with that..." Neville's gaze flicked to the mantel above the fireplace before he returned his eyes to Harry's face. "Would you mind fetching something for me, Harry?"

Harry sat up and nodded. "All right, Neville... what?"

Leaning in, Neville placed a kiss against the fringe of Harry's hair. "There's a box on the mantel I want you to bring me, and then kneel at my feet, understood?"

Harry nodded again and then stood, shivering in the sudden chill as he shed the blanket. He crossed to the mantel and picked up the box, flashing Neville a sheepish grin at his nudity as he moved back to the sofa, handing Neville the box before slipping down onto his knees.

Neville watched Harry move, his eyes raking over Harry’s body slowly before returning to his face. "Good boy," he said softly as Harry settled onto his knees in front of him. Harry ducked his head at Neville's words; he was always generous with his compliments and Harry had come slightly further out of his shell since they had gotten together.

"I'd thought about waiting until I got back from the conference for this, but...I'd rather give it to you now," Neville continued, removing the lid from the box and setting it aside. Carefully, he reached inside and lifted a simple leather collar out, decorated only with a small o-ring that dangled from the middle of the band.

As Neville removed the object from its wrappings, Harry’s breath hitched sharply, his eyes widening as he looked from Neville to the collar.

"I won't force you to wear it if you’re not ready," Neville said, holding the collar out to Harry, inviting him to examine it as he pleased. "But I'd like for you to have it, all the same. That way, if you miss me while I'm away, it's there for you to wear, if you wanted."

Harry took it gingerly and turned it in his hands, examining the leather and the fastenings. He looked up at Neville, eyes still wide. "Would you... tell me... what the thought ofmewearingthis... doestoyou?" The last of his question came out in a jumbled rush of embarrassment.

Neville considered Harry's question for a moment before leaning forward, tracing the collar in Harry's hands with one finger as he spoke. "Generally, the thought of it makes me happy; it’s an outward statement that you're mine, and I'd like to have that. And," he added, his eyes focussing on Harry's face as the corners of his mouth turned upwards, "the idea of you wearing this for me, and nothing else, is...incredibly arousing."

"Yeah?" Harry asked, shy and hopeful.

"Oh, yeah," Neville agreed, leaning down to press his lips to Harry's.

Harry kissed him eagerly, his hands dropping into his lap as he knelt up into the kiss. He pulled back after a moment, breathing harder, and stared down at the collar in his hands. Unfastening it slowly, he held it out to Neville, raising his eyes to the other man’s in wordless acquiescence.

Neville took the collar from Harry's hands, offering him an approving smile as he circled the band of leather around Harry's neck. "Thank you, Harry," he said as he fastened the collar in place, keeping it loose enough that it wouldn't restrict Harry's breathing at all, but not so loose that he wouldn't feel it there.

Harry's breathing had all but stopped as Neville circled the collar around his neck, but once it was in place he took several steadying breaths before raising his hands to trace the collar with his fingertips. He looked up at Neville, love shining in his eyes. "Like it?"

Neville's eyes followed Harry's fingers as they traced over the collar, his heart racing at the sight Harry made wearing it. "Yes," he breathed, turning his gaze back to Harry's eyes and reaching out to cup his cheek. "So much..."

Harry nuzzled Neville's hand, cheeks tingeing pink. "I'm glad," he whispered. "Can I - come back to the sofa now?"

Neville chuckled and nodded, sitting back and patting his leg. "In my lap, Harry. I want to hold you for a while."

Harry blushed deeper but obediently climbed onto Neville's lap, reaching for the quilt as he did, draping it over them as he rested his head on Neville's shoulder.

Smiling, Neville wrapped his arms around Harry's waist beneath the quilt, turning to place a light kiss against his forehead. "I'd like to give you a new rule while I'm at the conference this week, Harry. Are you up for that?"

Harry nuzzled Neville's neck and kissed his jaw. "What rule?"

Neville tightened his arms around Harry, holding him close. "I don't want you to touch yourself while I'm gone...Can you do that for me?"

Harry groaned. "At all?"

Chuckling, Neville turned to kiss Harry's cheek. "At all," he confirmed, lightly stroking the small of Harry's back.

Harry chewed his lower lip, hesitating, but he could see in Neville's face how much the other man wanted this. "All right, Nev," he agreed slowly. "I'll... I'll try."

Neville gave Harry a small squeeze, brushing their lips together with an encouraging smile. "I know you'll make me proud, Harry."

Harry blushed again, but leaned in to meet the kiss eagerly. Pulling back, he asked plaintively, "How long are you going to be gone, again?"

"Five days," Neville answered with a slight frown. "I won't get back until Friday evening."

Harry let out a whimper, but nodded again. "All right," he sighed.

Neville smiled and placed another quick kiss to Harry's lips. "It won't be so bad," he reassured, tightening his arms around Harry's waist. "I'll be back before you know it."

Harry nuzzled his neck again, his hand stroking gently along Neville's chest. "It still feels strange to be naked when you're not," he admitted quietly.

"I know," Neville said, unable to keep the hint of amusement from his voice. "You do look so good like this, though."

The blush spread from Harry's cheeks down his neck and along his shoulders. "Think so?"

"Of course," Neville answered, tilting his face down to nuzzle Harry's neck. "Not that you don't look fantastic dressed," he added, marking a gentle trail of nips down toward Harry's shoulder. "But I love seeing you like this all the time."

Harry moaned, arching his back so that he curved up into the kisses.

Neville inhaled sharply as he pulled Harry flush to his chest, pausing as his lips brushed against the leather of the collar around his neck. "This does look wonderful on you," he murmured, more to himself than to Harry.

Harry's breath hitched as he wriggled teasingly on Neville's lap. "I'm... glad you like it," he breathed, moving to kiss Neville deeply.

Neville groaned against Harry's lips, his hands wandering to the other man's arse and squeezing as he let Harry take charge of their kiss.

Harry licked along Neville's lips playfully, his hands moving to wrap around his neck and pull him closer.

Parting his lips, Neville's tongue darted out to brush against Harry's, inviting him to deepen the kiss. His hands massaged Harry’s arse lightly as he shifted his hips, feeling his own erection pressing insistently against the fabric of his trousers.

Harry squirmed in Neville's lap to tease the erection poking up against him. He pulled back breathlessly to nip at Neville's earlobe and whisper, "I'd like some of that, please..."

Neville groaned at Harry's words, the shifting in his lap only making him harder. "You delightful little tease," he purred, removing one of his hands from Harry's arse to slip between them, opening the fastenings of his trousers.

Harry shifted to give him space, nuzzling his neck roughly. "Mmhmm," he murmured against his neck.

"Fuck, Harry," Neville breathed, squeezing Harry's arse with one hand as he tugged open his trousers. "You like doing this to me, don't you?"

"Of course..." Harry breathed. "Why wouldn't I like it?"

The corner of Neville's mouth twitched in amusement as he roughly pulled Harry down to grind against him. "Why don't you show me how much you like it, then?" Neville suggested, leaning in to nip at Harry's neck. "Tease me."

Harry smiled playfully. "Tease you?" He moved to nuzzle Neville's neck. "Like this?" He pushed against him.

Neville's breath caught, his hands squeezing Harry's arse again as he nodded. "Yes..."

Harry grinned, shifting in his lap as he nipped at Neville's neck and jaw. Neville ground his hips upward against Harry, turning his head to allow him better access to his neck. Harry groaned and pulled Neville's hands away, holding them lightly against the back of the sofa.

Chuckling, Neville allowed Harry to move his hands, keeping them where they were placed for the moment to see what the other man would do.

Harry pushed Neville into the cushions, pressing his lips to the other man's ear to whisper, "You really like being the one in charge?"

A small tremor rippled through Neville as Harry's breath washed over his ear. "Yes," he whispered, a little unsteadily, darting his tongue across his lower lip quickly as he pressed up against Harry again. "W-why?"

Harry smirked, his lips curving against the shell of Neville's ear as he whispered, "What would you do if I pinned you to the sofa with magic? Kept you at _my_ mercy?"

Neville's breath caught in his throat again, a quiet whine escaping him before he could prevent it. "I..." he hesitated, sinking his teeth into his lower lip for a moment as a faint blush rose in his cheeks. "I might enjoy that..."

Harry nipped his earlobe lightly before nuzzling his neck. "I'd make sure you did, Neville..."

Neville's eyes fluttered closed as Harry nuzzled his neck, his hips bucking upward hopefully. "Y-you would?"

Harry nodded against his neck. "I would," he whispered. "I promise."

Swallowing nervously, Neville turned his face toward Harry, his cheeks still tinged pink. "Would you...like to do that, Harry?"

Harry smiled as he shifted in Neville's lap, eliciting another groan from the other man. "I won't deny that it has its appeal, Neville... fit bloke like you, all mine... but..." he leaned in to nip his earlobe again. "Somehow, I don't think it's what you had in mind when you gave me this..." He brought one of Neville's hands up to trace the collar around his neck as he spoke.

Neville leaned his head back with a quiet chuckle, squeezing his eyes closed. "You're a rather cruel tease, Harry," he murmured, brushing his fingers lightly over the collar as he looked at the other man again. Shifting his hand, he curled it around the back of Harry's neck, pulling him in to claim his lips in a possessive kiss.

Harry melted against him briefly as the kiss deepened, before pulling back a bit breathlessly. "You did tell me to tease you..." he said, a smile curving the corners of his lips. "But...I would like to do that with you, sometime..."

“Sometime,” Neville agreed with an answering smile, as he tugged Harry down to kiss him again.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

****

Chapter 6

 

Neville stepped through the Floo into his flat, carding his fingers through his hair. The conference had been both stressful and enjoyable, and left him aching to just be able to relax for a few hours with Harry. Fully focussed on the idea of a hot shower before Harry arrived, it took Neville a moment to notice the other man already sitting on his sofa. “Harry!”

Harry gave a shy smile, standing and crossing to him. The quilt he'd had wrapped around him fell away and Neville's jaw dropped as he took in the sight of Harry, naked in nothing but the collar, crossing the room towards him. Harry wrapped his arms around Neville's neck and kissed him, then nuzzled him as he whispered, "Welcome home."

Neville's heart skipped a beat at the sight of Harry still wearing the collar he'd given him, and as the other man's arms came around him, he wrapped his arms around his waist instinctively. Pulling Harry tightly to him, Neville smiled as Harry nuzzled his neck. "Thank you...I've missed you."

"I missed you too," Harry admitted. "So much." He clung to the taller man slightly before pulling back. "Like your surprise?"

Neville's eyes travelled slowly over Harry's body when he pulled away. He'd held himself to the same rule he'd given Harry for the week, and the sight of the other man standing in front of him in nothing but his leather collar was doing quite a bit to stir his interest. "Very much," he answered after a moment, his eyes returning to Harry's face as he reached to pull the other man against him again.

Harry allowed himself to be pulled back into his embrace. "I'm glad."

Dipping his head, Neville brushed his lips against Harry's neck. His hands wandered to grab Harry's arse. "I thought about you like this every night," he murmured against Harry's neck, kissing his way slowly down toward his shoulder. "Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep my hands off myself like that?"

Harry started in surprise. "You - what?"

Neville paused as Harry started, pulling back to look into his eyes. "I held myself to the same rule I gave you..." Neville brought one of his hands up to cup Harry's cheek with a soft smile, leaning in to kiss him briefly. "I wouldn't give you an order like that if I couldn't do it myself as well, Harry. Hard as it was," he added with a chuckle.

Harry kissed him, but a blush suffused his cheeks as he pulled away. "Neville, I... I have to confess something," he said. "You're not going to like it.'

"What is it?" Neville asked, his thumb stroking Harry's cheek.

Harry stared at his feet unhappily. "I - I failed, Neville."

Neville let out a nearly inaudible sigh as he nodded, slipping his fingers beneath Harry's chin and lifting his face until he met his eyes. "How many times?"

Harry closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to meet the other man's gaze. "Just once, honestly. I'm sorry. I just... missed you so much, and I woke up from a dream and I was so hard..."

"Harry," Neville said, willing the other man to look at him. "I'm proud of you for telling me, but..." Neville paused to swallow the lump that rose in his throat; he hated punishments, but a deliberate act couldn't be overlooked. "You realize that isn't an excuse, don't you?"

Harry nodded miserably. "I'm so sorry, Neville, I didn't want to disappoint you."

Neville pulled Harry against his chest. Cupping his face in his hands, he leaned down to place a kiss against the fringe of Harry's hair before pulling back to look into his eyes. "Harry, you told me this on your own. I'm more proud of you for that than I am disappointed. But I also can't overlook this..." Neville took a steadying breath as he stroked Harry's cheek. "You didn't necessarily mean to, but you did _choose_ to disobey me."

Harry gave another slow nod. It was true; he'd known, as he took himself in hand, that he was breaking his promise to Neville.

Pressing another brief kiss to Harry's lips, Neville pulled away and slid an arm around his waist to guide him gently toward the sofa. "You understand why I have to punish you?" he asked as he took a seat, leaving Harry standing in front of him. He looked into Harry's eyes as he waited for him to answer, needing to know he understood before he began.

Harry trembled slightly as he answered, a note of fear in his voice. "Yes, Neville. What - what are you going to do?"

Neville reached out to take Harry's hands in his own, giving them an encouraging squeeze. “You're going to lay yourself across my lap, and I'm going to give you a spanking.”

Harry bit his lower lip. "Now?" he asked timidly.

Neville gave Harry's hands another squeeze. "Better to get it over with than to put it off."

Harry nervously laid himself down over Neville's lap, his hands and feet on the floor to support himself.

Neville ran his hand gently along Harry's back as he saw him trembling, hoping the light touch might soothe him. "Are you ready?" he asked, hoping to give Harry an extra moment to steady his nerves before beginning.

Harry nodded silently.

Removing his hand from Harry's back, Neville took a slow, steadying breath before drawing back for the first strike. He was careful not to use too much force, although it was enough that Harry would certainly feel it as his hand collided with the curve of his arse, the second strike landing slightly beneath it a moment later.

Harry's body rocked with the blows, but he stayed silent, still trembling.

Neville took another deep breath as he watched Harry, forcing himself not to hold the other man just yet, to avoid sending him mixed signals. Focussing on where his hand was landing, to keep from striking the same spot twice in a row, Neville brought his hand down three more times before speaking in a soft whisper. "Halfway there, Harry...Just five more, and it'll all be over..."

Harry whimpered at that, but his trembling lessened slightly.

Neville delivered the next two blows quickly, before he gave in to the impulse to run his hand over Harry's arse to soothe some of the pain he would have caused. "I don't like doing this to you, Harry," he murmured sincerely, as he felt a faint heat against his palm from where the flesh of Harry's arse had been warmed by the spanking. "But I have to..."

Harry was strangely quiet, the trembling growing worse again.

"Just three more, and then it'll be over," Neville said as he stroked the curve of Harry's arse. "Everything will be okay... But, this is how you learn, Harry. It's only to make you a better-" he started, hesitating when Harry stiffened completely, his breath completely leaving him. "Harry...?" Neville asked, looking down at the other man in concern.

The sound of Neville's voice catapulted Harry into action. He scrambled off Neville's lap, sliding to the floor and drawing his knees up to his chest and rocking himself a little, dropping his forehead onto his knees.

Caught off guard by Harry's quick movements, Neville watched him for a moment as he tried to process what had happened. It was several moments after Harry's forehead was pressed to his knees that Neville made the connection between Harry's behaviour and the vague comments about his past relationship. "Oh, Merlin, no," Neville murmured under his breath as he moved slowly, lowering himself to his knees in front of Harry. "Harry?" he asked, failing to keep his voice from wavering.

Harry didn't respond; he just kept rocking himself, folded up tightly and protectively.

"Harry," Neville tried again, keeping his tone soft as he reached a hand out tentatively. Tears stung the corners of his eyes as he watched the other man rock back and forth, and he tried to blink them back quickly. "I'm so sorry..." he whispered.

As Neville's hand touched him, Harry let out a strangled cry and scrambled backward, eyes wide and unseeing.

Neville took an unsteady breath when Harry moved away from him, closing his eyes and struggling to keep the tears in his eyes at bay as he realised what he'd done. Focussing on Harry's face again, he stayed where he was, not wanting to frighten him by moving any closer again. "Harry," he started, his voice cracking, "I'm not going to hurt you..."

Harry stared at Neville as a small measure of the panic began to leave his face. He was still hyperventilating, though, and still curled up on the floor.

Staying put, despite the overwhelming desire to pull Harry into his arms, Neville reached his hand out for Harry, offering it for him to take, when he was ready. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, meeting Harry's eyes. "I didn't mean to-" Neville started and trailed off. "Harry, please..."

Slowly, a measure of awareness returned to Harry's eyes and he really looked at Neville for the first time since the trigger. "Neville?" he choked out, tears streaming down his face.

Relaxing slightly as Harry said his name, Neville nodded. "Yes, Harry, it's me," he said quietly. Still hesitant to touch Harry until the other man initiated it, Neville flexed his hand to draw Harry's attention to it.

Instead, Harry withdrew even further and buried his face in his knees again. "Oh, Neville, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." he whimpered.

"Harry, don't," Neville pleaded when the other man withdrew. "You haven't done anything wrong...It was me!" Neville swallowed as he shifted just a little closer to Harry, trying to reach for him again. "Please...look at me..."

It took several moments for Harry to lift his tear-stained face to look at Neville. He swiped at his cheeks and took a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry" he continued to whisper.

Neville moved slowly to reach for Harry's hands, shaking his head as he continued to whisper apologies. "You have nothing to be sorry for," he said, his voice trembling. "I'm the one who did something wrong, not you." Meeting Harry's eyes, Neville felt tears of his own, which he'd managed to hold back this long, try to slip free again. "I'm so sorry, Harry."

Harry cried softly as he shook his head. "No, it's me. It's... I'm damaged goods," he choked out. "He was right. I'm damaged..."

Hearing Harry say that threw Neville's sense of caution out the window. Reaching for the other man, Neville pulled Harry into his arms, burying his face against Harry's neck as his arms curled around him. "Don't you _ever_ call yourself that," he said against his neck, the words coming out slightly muffled. "You're _perfect_ ," Neville added before his voice trailed off into a ragged breath in an attempt to stop the flow of tears that had started at Harry's statement.

Harry struggled against Neville for a few seconds before collapsing into his arms and sobbing freely. All the while, he continued mumbling about "damaged goods" and "broken" and "no good."

Neville tightened his arms around Harry's waist. "Please, Harry, don't talk like that," he whispered against the curve of his neck, his tone pleading. "There's nothing wrong with you, I swear. You're perfect, Harry! I -" Neville stopped himself as he realised what he'd been about to say, and he buried his face further against Harry's neck. True as it was, he couldn't bring himself to say it yet, not after what he'd just done to Harry. "I'm so sorry," he whispered brokenly as he held Harry close. "Can you ever forgive me?"

Harry clung to him, his sobs eventually quieting as he remained, trembling, in Neville's arms.

Neville ran his hands gently over the length of Harry's back as his sobs quieted, continuing to murmur apologies every few moments against the other man's neck.

Harry laid his head on Neville's shoulder, sniffles and hiccoughs wracking his body. "I'm sorry, Neville, I'm so sorry. I'll go." He began to push himself unsteadily into a standing position. "I'll go... home..."

"Harry," Neville said, reaching to grab Harry's hand gently before he could move too far away. He turned his face up to meet Harry's eyes, no longer caring about the slightly red and swollen appearance of his own. "I know I've hurt you, but... _Please_ , won't you give me a chance to make this right?" His voice sounded unsteady even to himself, but still Neville gave Harry's hand a hopeful squeeze as he held his breath waiting for an answer.

Harry's face crumpled again. "Why? You shouldn't want me, Neville. You shouldn't want me; you're too good for me. I'm damaged goods. No one should have to put up with me..."

"You are _not_ damaged goods," Neville nearly snapped, pushing himself to his feet and pulling Harry to him. "Whoever told you that is wrong, Harry; _very_ wrong..." Reaching up, Neville placed both of his hands on the sides of Harry's face, stroking his cheek gently as he felt a fresh wave of tears pricking his eyes at the thought of losing the man in front of him. "I don't want to lose you, Harry. I..." Neville hesitated again, biting his lower lip sharply.

Harry brought his arms around Neville's neck and clung to the taller man desperately. "I... I don't want to lose you either... but you deserve so much better than me..."

"No," Neville started shaking his head. "You're the one who deserves better, Harry..." He pulled Harry flush to his chest, burying his face against the other man's hair. He took a ragged breath. "Can you ever forgive me for this, Harry?"

“I forgive you, Neville,” Harry whispered. “I just can’t forgive myself.”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	5. Chapters 7 & 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
> 

 

Chapter 7

 

Neville stepped from the Floo into the foyer of Malfoy Manor, running his fingers through his hair as he took a deep breath to steel himself for his upcoming conversation with Hermione. Things with Harry had smoothed over the best they could, for the moment, but Harry's continued refusal to talk about what had happened in his past to trigger the incident was making things harder for Neville. If Hermione didn't have the answers he needed, he didn't know where else he could turn.

Hermione came into the foyer to greet him, a smile on her face. "Neville! What a surprise!" She gave him a warm hug, but as she pulled away, she took a closer look at his face and her demeanor sobered instantly. "Neville? What's wrong?" she asked quickly.

Neville returned the hug with a faint smile that couldn't quite reach his eyes. "I need to talk to you, Hermione... about Harry."

Hermione sighed. "You'd better come into the library," she said quietly. She led the way and indicated that he should sit, setting a tea service brewing with a quick wand movement. "What’s happened?"

Neville leaned forward as he sat, resting his elbows against his knees and wringing his hands in an effort to relieve the nervous tension in his body. "I'm not sure, exactly," he began, biting his lower lip for a moment as he tried to think of how to phrase what had happened. "We've been bringing the... _lifestyle_ into our relationship lately; it's been slow, but he's been doing so well, and then..." Neville's voice trailed off and he dropped his head slightly, running his fingers through his hair out of nervous habit.

Hermione raised an eyebrow at Neville's admission, but said nothing, simply nodding for him to continue.

"He broke his first rule while I was at my conference," Neville hedged on, staring intently at his hands. "When I came back, he told me. It was his first punishment; I wasn't expecting him to take it well. Hell, I doubt any submissive does, the first time. But...I don't know what happened, Hermione." Neville raised his eyes to his friend's face again. "One moment, he was doing all right, and then the next, he was across the room and shaking."

"Is that all that happened?" she asked softly. The look on her face told Neville she knew it wasn't the sum of the story.

Neville sighed, resting his forehead against his palms for a moment. "He was three strikes away from being done with the spanking when he moved, Hermione. He'd made it that far, shaking and whimpering, but not in a way I would have thought to mean that anything was really _wrong_. I was trying to soothe him, and remind him that it was almost done. The words had hardly left my mouth when he went stiff. The next thing I knew, he flew away from me as though I’d cast a Cruciatus Curse on him.” Neville's voice grew soft as he spoke, and he paused briefly to take a steadying breath. "I tried to touch him, to talk to him, but it only seemed to make him worse at first..."

Hermione's face was grave. "When did this happen?" she demanded, sitting forward sharply. "Neville, is he all right?"

Neville looked up from his hands with a mixture of surprise and hurt crossing his features. "Of course he's all right. Do you think I'd just leave him like that?" he snapped before catching himself. Squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, Neville inhaled slowly before looking at Hermione again. "I'm sorry, it's just... It was the night before last. He took some time to pull himself out of it, and he's...better than he was. But he just kept dancing around me whenever I tried to get him to talk about what happened."

Hermione looked suitably chastised. "Of course you wouldn't, Neville, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I was just concerned." She watched Neville closely for a moment. "Harry won't talk about it with you?"

Neville shook his head. "He wouldn't tell me anything, Hermione; all I got out of him was a muttered comment about him being damaged, right before he broke it off with me and left. He'd mentioned before that his last relationship wasn't good, but... when he moved away from me, I swear, he wasn't seeing me when I got him to look up again. I don't know what happened."

Hermione stared at Neville for a long moment, but then turned her attention to the tea, sending cups floating gently to the table between then. That task completed, she seemed to come to a decision. "Neville - I really don't know if I should tell you anything. It's not my place."

"Hermione, please..." Neville reached for the cup in front of him out of habit, staring down at the tea inside for a moment before bringing himself to speak again. "I'm already past falling for Harry. I know it's a little late to say I don't want to hurt him, after what's happened. But if knowing at least _something_ could help me try to make this better, and not make a mistake like that with him again, I need to know."

Hermione slumped back in her chair, ignoring the tea before her. "I don't know a lot," she began quietly. "Harry never talked about it much with me, either. But... I can tell you about how it ended."

Neville gave a small nod, swallowing the lump that rose in his throat at her words. "I'd appreciate that."

"Harry showed up at the Manor, unannounced, in the middle of the night. Draco and I were long asleep, but the wards triggered when he came through the Floo. I came down to see what was wrong, and found him collapsed on the floor."

Neville forgot to breathe for a long moment, and he gave another small nod for Hermione to continue, unable to find his voice to speak, at the thought of Harry like that.

Hermione paused, lost in remembering. "He'd been severely beaten; at the time, I couldn't even believe he'd survived traveling by Floo powder. His wand was gone. I thought-" She passed a hand in front of her eyes. "I thought we were going to lose him."

Neville's hands started to tremble as he listened to Hermione and he quickly returned the teacup in his hands to the table. "Did he tell you anything about...how it happened?" he managed to whisper after a moment.

Hermione shook her head. "He was barely conscious, but he wouldn't let us take him to St. Mungo's, or call a Healer. Draco had to go to Poppy Pomfrey; she was the only one he'd agree to see, and he wouldn't talk to her either. He wouldn't respond to any of us, really - just kept mumbling something about fixing him, and being damaged goods; that the beating had been to teach him. To..." she paused to remember the exact phrase, "make him better."

"Oh, Merlin," Neville breathed, his stomach turning violently. The words he'd said in the moments before Harry had stiffened across his lap flooded back through his mind as he buried his face in his hands. "Hermione, I... oh gods, what have I done?" Neville whispered.

Hermione moved to sit beside him, taking Neville's hands in hers. "Whatever you've done, Neville, I know you didn't do that to him. Something must have triggered a flashback to the abuse."

"It was...what I said," Neville answered, his voice gravelly as he struggled to hold back a sharp wave of tears. "I told him that his punishment would...make him better..." Neville turned his face to look at Hermione with a miserable expression. "I meant as a submissive, but I never got to finish the sentence because of his reaction. How can I ever ask him to forgive me for that?"

"You had no way of knowing. You can't be held accountable for a past he hasn't shared with you," she reasoned, squeezing Neville’s hands lightly.

He won't even talk to me," Neville murmured. "I'd go through anything for him, but... he just keeps telling me that he's no good for me and that 'I deserve better.'" Neville gave a bitter laugh. "At least now I understand _where_ his feelings are coming from a bit better. But how can I fix it if he won't listen? And even if he does, I don't know how I can ask him to trust me again. Whether I knew or not, I hurt him, after swearing that I never would."

Hermione shook her head. "No, Neville. You just brought something to the surface that Harry'd buried. Something that he's determined to hide," she said firmly. "But..."

Neville met Hermione's eyes with a hint of reluctance, knowing that a 'but' after that sentence was not going to provide further encouragement. "But..?"

"But you may not be able to help him," Hermione whispered finally.

It was like having a bucket of ice water thrown over him, and Neville took a slow, steady breath as he looked away, staring intently at the floor for a moment. His mind raced through the past few weeks, and despite the persistent edge of guilt he felt, Neville nodded stiffly. "I have to try, though, Hermione..."

Hermione smiled despite the tears welling in her eyes. "Of course you do," she agreed. "You're a Gryffindor, after all." She frowned again. "That first night, Harry stayed conscious only long enough to get us to agree not to call anyone but Poppy, before he descended into incoherent ramblings for nearly two days. When he finally regained full consciousness, he refused to tell us who'd attacked him, what happened to his wand, or anything else. However, he also refused to go home to his partner, so I assumed that..." she paused. "The person he was with had done it."

The bit of tension that had eased from him returned, and Neville felt a wave of anger at the thought of someone, who should have been loving and protecting Harry, purposely hurting him that badly. His brow furrowed as he tried to remember far enough back to make the connection himself, but his memory failed him. "Who was it?" he asked reluctantly.

"What does it matter, Neville?" she asked quietly. "It won't change what happened. It won't make him whole again."

Neville had to bite his tongue to keep himself from demanding an answer. "You're right, it won't," he said at length. "I'll leave that to Harry to tell me...when he's ready." Sighing, Neville threaded his fingers through his hair. "Thank you, Hermione..."

Neville..." she paused, unsure of whether to pose her question. "You said that you'd gone beyond falling for him. What did you mean?"

"I'm in love with him, Hermione," Neville murmured, wringing his hands again. "I was going to tell him that night, and then...all of this happened."

"Oh, Neville," she breathed, her voice cracking. She pulled him into a hug. "I - I'll do everything I can to help you help him."

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

****

Chapter 8

 

Neville took a deep breath as he stood outside the door of Grimmauld Place. He was fairly certain that he could have taken the Floo into the house, but after his conversation with Hermione and the few hours he'd taken to think things over, he didn't want to catch Harry completely by surprise, by arriving like that. Raising his hand, he rapped his knuckles against the door and held his breath, uncertain whether Harry would choose to open the door for him or not.

Harry stood in the hall, wavering. The wards had triggered when Neville Apparated to the front door, alerting him to the other man’s presence. Harry wanted to see Neville desperately, but he’d been too ashamed and embarrassed to go to him, and he’d convinced himself that it would be better for Neville if they were no longer together. Neville was a good man, and he deserved better. Biting his lower lip, Harry made his decision, and opened the door to ask Neville to leave.

Neville released the breath he'd held with a relieved sigh as the door opened in front of him. "Harry..." He reached for the other man but stopped himself short, still uncertain where they stood. "Could we...talk?"

Harry's heart sank when he saw Neville's face, so drawn and upset, but his question cemented Harry’s certainty that he was making the right decision, keeping himself and his emotional baggage from further complicating Neville's life. He couldn't find it in him to simply refuse the other man entry, however."Sure, Neville," he responded quietly, holding the door open for the other man. "Come in to the library."

Neville gave a small nod as he stepped into the house, shooting Harry a brief and encouraging smile as he murmured, "Thank you..." He stood back a little past the door to let Harry pass him by as the other man shut the door and reinstated the wards before leading the way upstairs to the library. Neville tried to calm his nerves as Harry gestured him to the sofa. "Would you like a drink?" Harry indicated the bottle of Firewhisky sitting on the sideboard. "Or some tea?"

Neville shook his head as he took a seat, knowing the last thing he needed right now was something like Firewhisky to cloud his judgment. "No, thank you," he answered, considering his hands for a moment before looking up to meet Harry's eyes. "Can we talk about what happened Friday, Harry?"

A look of pure panic flashed across Harry's face as he moved to a chair opposite Neville and picked up his glass, which was two fingers full with the amber liquid. Taking a long swallow, he shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea, Neville," he said, staring into the fireplace.

Neville swallowed the lump in his throat. "I know I've made a mistake, Harry; I know that I hurt you. If that means you can't forgive me- that you don't want to stay with me- I'll accept that. But..." His voice trailed off and he sighed, turning his eyes to his feet, as though they might offer him the strength he needed to continue. "I won't ask you for an explanation for what happened. But the things you said about yourself...I don't understand where it was coming from."

Harry couldn't quite believe what the other man was saying. Neville thought Harry couldn't forgive him, and _that_ was why he'd broken it off? His mind reeled as he said, "I - I don't understand. You - you still want to be with me?"

Neville's head snapped up at that, his brow furrowing in confusion as he looked at Harry again. After what Hermione had told him, Neville had been amazed that Harry had even opened the door for him, let alone offered him the opportunity to talk. The thought that Harry might think _he_ wanted to leave _him_ had never crossed his mind. "Why wouldn’t I?"

Harry ducked his head. "Because I - because you deserve better than me?" he said softly, unshed tears sparkling in his eyes. "Because I'm broken; damaged beyond help..."

"No, you're not. Harry, you're not broken, and you're not damaged..." Moving slowly, Neville rose from the sofa to crouch down in front of Harry's chair, reaching for his hand. "That isn't what I see when I look at you."

Harry let Neville take his hand as he stared down at the other man. "After what happened... how can you see anything else?" he whispered.

"Having a rough past does not make you damaged," Neville answered softly, giving Harry's hand a gentle squeeze. "And being affected by it doesn't make you broken. I've told you before that I think you're perfect, Harry." Reaching out with his other hand, Neville cupped Harry's cheek. "I still mean that."

Harry nuzzled his cheek against Neville's hand, his breathing seeming to lighten at the touch. Then he paused, pulling back with a frown. "There's so much you don't know about me, Neville You wouldn't feel the same way, if you did." He turned away, staring into the fireplace.

"That isn't true," Neville said, his tone soft, but still firm, as he moved his hand from Harry's cheek to gently grasp his chin, turning him to face him again. "There is _nothing_ that will change my mind about that. How I feel about you...It won't change because of your past."

The tears that had been welling in Harry's eyes spilled over at that. "I wish that were true, Neville..." he whispered brokenly.

"Harry, listen to me," Neville said as he placed his hands on either side of Harry's face, stroking his cheeks gently. "I know enough to know that it wasn't good, _and I'm still here_."

Harry blinked away tears and stared into Neville's eyes. His breath was coming faster, the conversation rapidly becoming too much for him. "You don't know... you don't know..." he murmured, almost too softly for Neville to hear.

"Do you still trust me, Harry?" Neville asked after a moment of thought, continuing to gently stroke Harry's cheek with his thumb.

Harry swallowed hard and nodded.

Feeling as though a weight had been lifted from him, Neville released a quiet sigh of relief. "Then please, trust me when I tell you these things. Do you think I'd be foolish enough to want to leave you over something like this?" Neville asked, echoing the question he'd posed that first night they'd been together. As he looked into the other man's eyes, he wasn't able to stop himself from adding, "I love you, Harry... I don't want to lose you like this."

Harry stopped breathing as he stared, wide-eyed, at the other man. After a moment, he took a hiccoughing breath and whispered, "You... love me?"

Neville nodded, meeting Harry's gaze with the calmest expression he could manage, despite his uncertainty over whether Harry returned the sentiment. "I do. If you don't feel the same, I understand, but I needed you to at least know. You _deserve_ to know."

Conflicted, Harry stared at Neville for a long moment, tears still spilling onto his cheeks every few seconds. His last lover had told Harry that he’d loved him, too. Harry had healed enough to know that what they’d shared wasn't love, but it still made him suspicious of the declaration. At the same time, he couldn't deny that his own heart had nearly burst with joy at Neville's pronouncement.

Neville felt his throat constricting as Harry only watched him in silence, trying to convince himself that the lack of a response was not a rejection. His thumb wiped at the tears that trailed along Harry's cheeks until the silence became too much. "Say something, Harry... _Please_."

"Neville, I-" Harry stopped, clearing his throat and wiping impatiently at his eyes. He looked into Neville's eyes for another long moment, before bringing his hand up to caress the other man's cheek as he spoke. "I... I don't know if I can believe that anyone could… love me, again," he said miserably. "But I think that I might be in love with you."

The happiness Neville would have felt at Harry's declaration of love was overpowered by the impact of the rest of what he'd said. Blinking back a wave of tears as he realized how bad Harry's past must have been, Neville closed his eyes and nuzzled Harry's hand. "Will you give me a chance to prove it to you?"

Harry took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, Neville," he whispered as he watched the emotions playing across Neville's face . "I will. I'll try..." He paused again, tears streaming down his cheeks, as he looked away from the man before him. "I still think you deserve better."

Placing his hand over Harry's, Neville turned to brush his lips against his palm. "There is no one better than you, Harry; you're perfect."

Harry's cheeks stained bright red at Neville's words and he shook his head. "I'm far from perfect, Neville. Please; you have to admit that."

"Hmm..." Neville sat back, tilting his head a bit to one side as he considered Harry for a moment. Finally, he gave a small shake of his head. "I can't do that, Harry. To me, you _are_ perfect."

Harry stared at the floor, trembling. After a moment, he was shaking with silent sobs.

Concern knitting his brow, Neville reached up to place his hands on either side of Harry's face, lifting it gently until he was able to meet the other man's eyes again. "What's wrong, Harry?"

Harry shook his head, unable to speak. After a moment, he gathered himself to say, "I _know_ I'm not perfect, Neville. If I can't believe you now..." He dissolved into quiet sobs again.

"And how do you 'know' that?" Neville asked, stroking Harry's cheek with his thumb.

Harry looked at him in despair. " _Look_ at me, Neville! I'm...."

“I _have_ looked at you, Harry," Neville said, his tone a bit firmer in the hope that Harry would really listen to him. "And I have yet to see anything wrong with who you are."

Harry just shook his head hopelessly.

"Tell me one thing," Neville tried, worried he was losing Harry already. "One thing that you think is wrong with yourself, and give me the chance to show you that you're wrong."

Harry opened and closed his mouth several times without saying anything. Finally, he said, "I can't do anything right."

Neville arched one eyebrow as he looked into Harry's eyes. "I can think of several things you've done right. Too many to list all of them, actually."

Harry's cheeks flamed. "No, I meant… sexually. I'm no good; Per- he used to tell me all the time what I was doing wrong."

"I don't recall ever voicing a complaint," Neville said, settling back onto his heels and taking Harry's hands in his own. "You've seen the way I respond to you in bed, Harry; did it ever sound like I thought you were doing something wrong?"

Harry shook his head. "No, but... you're nicer than he was."

"Has it occurred to you that maybe he just didn't properly appreciate your talents?" Neville gave Harry's hands a gentle squeeze, tracing small circles against his knuckles with his thumb.

Harry shook his head. "I don't... I don't think so."

"From my experience, Harry, you do everything right sexually." Neville flashed him a small, encouraging smile. "I wouldn't change a thing about your behaviour in bed."

"Would you tell me if I didn't?" Harry countered. "Really?"

Neville nodded, refusing to let the flicker of hurt he felt at Harry's continued doubt show on his face. "If you did something _wrong_ , I would. But I suspect that the things you were told were 'wrong' were simply things that your partner did not like. And that isn't the same."

Harry considered that for a moment. “I... never thought of it like that,” he conceded.

"You've never given me a reason to complain, Harry; and I can't imagine how any man could, with a partner like you." Neville lifted one of Harry's hands, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to it before sitting back, lacing his fingers with Harry's. "You're amazing."

Harry inched forward in his chair, suddenly desperate to be closer to the man before him. "Neville..."

Noticing Harry moving closer, Neville looked up into his eyes. "Yes?"

"I - I -" Harry was lost in the light shining in those eyes. For a brief, wild moment, he wanted to tell Neville every horrible thing that had happened, when he suddenly remembered that telling Neville everything meant that the other man would leave and never come back. Harry wasn't certain that he could handle that. Instead, he said, "I'm sorry I didn't finish my punishment."

Neville blinked in surprise as he processed what Harry had said. It had seemed like the other man had been about to say something else, and the unexpected turn threw him off. "You're... Harry, why in Merlin's name would you be _sorry_ for that?"

For several seconds, Harry looked as surprised as Neville over what had just come out of his mouth. At Neville's question, he looked guilty. "Because I disobeyed you. I deserved to be punished, and my past ... interfered. So I disappointed you twice."

"Will you ever cease to amaze me?" Neville murmured, more to himself than to Harry, as he shifted his position in front of Harry's seat to sit back onto the floor, giving the other man's hand a gentle tug to encourage him to join him. "Harry, what happened- how you reacted- did not disappoint me."

Harry allowed himself to be tugged down onto the floor in front of the chair. "I don't understand," he said. "You gave me a punishment and I didn't complete it."

"Did you try to?" Neville asked as he pulled Harry into his arms and held him close to his chest.

As Neville’s arms closed around him, Harry took a deep breath for the first time in days. "Yes," he whispered. "Truly, I did."

"Then why would I be disappointed?" Neville pressed a light kiss against Harry's forehead before leaning in to nuzzle his neck. "You tried; that's more important to me than whether you made it all the way through," he murmured, tightening his arms around the other man.

Harry's face was awash with confusion. "I - don't understand." He let out a soft sigh as Neville's arms tightened around him, and laid his head on Neville's shoulder, nuzzling the other man in turn.

"You could have tried to talk your way out of it, or not even told me you'd disobeyed, and you didn't," Neville said, bringing one of his hands up to stroke the small of Harry's back. "And you tried your best to get through your punishment. I'm proud of you for that, Harry; it isn't your fault that I upset you the way I did."

Harry shook his head, getting upset again. "You didn't mean to upset me. You couldn't have known..." He stopped, his breath coming in short, shallow pants. "What.... happened..."

Noticing the change in his breathing, Neville nuzzled Harry's neck gently again. "It’s all right, love," he murmured, sliding his hand along the length of Harry's back soothingly. "You don't have to talk about it if you're not ready."

Harry calmed somewhat under Neville's touch. He clung to Neville like a lifeline, his breathing slowly returning to normal. "I'm sorry, Neville..."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Neville assured, continuing to run his hand over Harry's back as he held him. Turning, he placed a kiss against Harry's cheek. "Thank you, though...for not turning me away. I was nearly certain you would, since you wouldn't answer my owls," Neville murmured as he laid his head against Harry's shoulder. "I came to the door rather than through the Floo so that you _could_ , if you needed to. I thought I'd lost you..."

Harry, if it was possible, clung even more tightly to Neville. "I thought it'd be better for you... if I left. You deserve so much better than me, Neville. You deserve someone who's not so broken..."

"I haven't wanted anyone but you since our first date." Sitting back slightly, Neville brought both of his hands up to cup the sides of Harry's face, pulling him in to press their lips together. "I'd be a fool to let you get away."

Harry moaned as Neville kissed him. His eyes, wide and questioning, searched the other man's face for a long moment before leaning in to kiss him again.

Curling his arms around Harry's waist, Neville smiled. "I love you, Harry," he whispered, the words muffled as he laid his head on Harry's shoulder again.

Harry did not move his head from Neville's neck, but a soft sob and a sudden dampness on his shoulder let Neville know that the man in his arms was crying again. "I love you too, Neville." Harry whispered in his ear. “And I’ll try to tell you what happened to me. But, please… not now. Not today.”

"Not until you're ready, Harry; I promise," Neville said quietly. His hand began tracing its soothing path along the length of Harry's back again and his other arm tightened around Harry's waist. "I'll wait as long as you need me to."

"I don't deserve you," Harry whispered, almost inaudibly. "I don't think I ever will..."

"I think," Neville murmured against Harry's neck, "that you deserve whatever you want. And if I'm what you want..." He let the rest hang unsaid between them as he brushed his lips against Harry's neck.

"You are..." Harry said, a pleading tone to his voice. His hand rested over Neville's heart as Harry looked into his eyes. "You _are_ what I want."

Neville placed one of his hands over Harry's and smiled. "Then you _do_ deserve me; and I don't want to hear you telling me otherwise," he added in a firmer tone, although his smile never wavered. Leaning in, he pressed his lips to Harry's, bringing his other hand up to thread his fingers through Harry’s hair.

Harry’s eyes closed as the kiss deepened, tongues entwining, until both men pulled back, panting slightly. "Let's go upstairs," Harry said with a shy smile.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	6. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
> 

Chapter 9

 

Light filtered through the curtains on Saturday morning, illuminating Neville's bedroom with a muted glow. Harry lay propped on one elbow, watching Neville sleep. His face was peaceful, and Harry lifted his free hand to rest lightly on Neville's chest. "I love you," he whispered. Leaning forward, he pressed a soft kiss to Neville's lips.

Neville stirred n his sleep at the kiss, one eye peeking open after a moment. A sleepy smile turned up the edges of his mouth and he reached out to wrap one arm around Harry's waist. "Good morning," he said, his voice still rough with sleep.

"G'morning," Harry replied, the wakefulness in his own voice betraying him. He leaned forward to kiss him again. "Sleep well?"

"Very well. How about you?" Neville asked, shifting closer to Harry and nuzzling his face against the other man's neck.

Harry's arm wrapped around Neville and he smiled. "Fine. Glad it's the weekend. What would you like to get up to today?"

Neville chuckled as he tightened his arm slightly around Harry's waist, rolling him onto his back as his lips brushed against his neck. "I can think of a few things," he murmured, kissing his way up toward Harry's ear. "And all of them start with breakfast," Neville finished, pulling back from Harry with a cheeky grin.

Harry chuckled, pushing him backward playfully. "Prat," he teased. “What do you want for breakfast?"

Neville sat up, still grinning as he stretched his arms with a quiet yawn. "Tea and whatever involves the least amount of fuss," Neville answered. Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, he pushed himself to his feet. "Did you have a preference?"

Harry lay back and sighed as he thought about it. "Eggs, beans, and toast?"

Neville reached for the trousers he'd left on the bedroom floor the night before, tugging them on before leaning down over the bed and pressing a kiss to Harry's forehead. "Join me in the kitchen when you're ready, I'll get that started."

Harry shook his head as he pushed himself out of bed and began searching for his own trousers. "No, Neville, I'll do it," he protested.

"You spoil me enough as it is," Neville told him in an amused tone, reaching to pull Harry into his arms. "Does it mean so much to you?"

"I just don't like you wanting anything," Harry admitted shyly.

"And I appreciate the thought, love." Placing one of his hands against Harry's cheek, Neville leaned in to brush their lips together. "But every now and then, I _want_ to cook for you."

Harry blushed at Neville's words. "All right," he agreed.

"Good boy," Neville murmured affectionately. "Now, I'll go start our breakfast, and you can rest a bit longer, or whatever you'd like. Just join me in the kitchen when you're ready. Understood?"

Harry nuzzled Neville's hand for a moment and nodded. “All right," he repeated, pulling away and resuming the search for his trousers.

Chuckling again, Neville ruffled Harry's hair as he pulled away. "Try checking under the bed," he said teasingly, noticing Harry looking around the floor. "You practically kicked everything under there in your rush to get in bed last night." Flashing him one last smile, Neville disappeared out of the bedroom to make his way to the kitchen.

Harry blushed deeper as he fished his trousers out from under the bed. He pulled them on impatiently and then collapsed backward onto the bed with a small smile. After a few moments, Harry got out of bed and padded into the kitchen, stepping up to circle his arms around the other man's waist and press closely to him.

Smiling at Harry over his shoulder, Neville turned the heat off on his stove as he divided the eggs in the pan in front of him onto the two plates on the counter beside him. "I half-expected you to fall back asleep," he said as he turned in Harry's arms to face him.

Harry chuckled. "I'm wide awake," he said. "I've been up for hours,"

"Was something wrong?" Neville asked in concern. "I thought you seemed rather awake already, but..."

Harry shook his head quickly. "No," he protested immediately. "No, I just... couldn't sleep."

Neville nodded reluctantly, knowing that it wouldn't do him any good to push Harry on the subject. "You could have woken me up, you know. I wouldn't have minded."

Harry nuzzled his neck. "I like watching you sleep," he confessed quietly.

Neville smiled at Harry's words. He pressed a light kiss against Harry's cheek as he wrapped his arms around the other man's waist, hugging him close for a moment. "Come on," he said, pulling back to look in Harry's eyes. "Let’s eat, before the food gets cold."

Harry smiled appreciatively. "It smells wonderful," he told Neville, carrying the plates to the table.

Neville watched Harry's arse as he walked for a second, before turning towards the tea he'd started while he was cooking and pouring them both a cup. "Thank you." Settling into the chair across from Harry's, Neville set his cup in front of him before taking a sip from his own. "Can I ask you something, Harry?"

Harry nodded. "Of course." His eyes held of flicker of worry.

"Is there anything you've ever thought about trying that we haven't done?" Neville set his tea down onto the table and glanced up at Harry's face.

Harry's cheeks tinged pink almost immediately. "What - what do you mean?"

Neville reached across the table for Harry's hand, suppressing a smile at his blush. "I mean that you do so much that I mention, but you've never brought up anything that _you_ want to try. I just wonder if there's anything you've been holding back, thinking that I wouldn't be interested."

Harry chewed on his lower lip, staring at the tabletop. "There is..." he paused, still blushing.

Squeezing Harry's hand encouragingly, Neville leaned in across the table. "You can tell me."

"Do you like seeing me in the collar?" Harry asked softly.

"Of course I do," Neville answered, a little surprised by the question.

"I wish you'd tell me to wear it," Harry said, even more quietly.

Neville examined Harry intently for a moment. "The thought has crossed my mind," he said as he leaned back in his chair. "But why haven't you mentioned it before?"

"You didn't ask," Harry said defensively. He took a deep breath and admitted, "You seem to like it when I put it on, but ... since that first night you gave it to me, you haven't put it on me or asked for it. I thought... maybe you were sorry you gave it to me."

"You're right, I didn't ask," Neville agreed, giving a small nod as he stood from his chair. "But I also told you, when I gave it to you, that I wouldn't force you to wear it, if you didn't want to." Stepping around the table to crouch down beside Harry's chair, Neville grasped his chin gently, meeting his eyes. "I will _never_ regret that I gave it to you, Harry; I just didn't want to pressure you. I'm sorry that I made you think otherwise," he added, leaning in to kiss him.

Harry returned the kiss deeply, bringing his hand up to cup Neville's cheek. As they broke apart, he smiled. "I'm glad." He bit his lower lip. "There is... something else..."

Neville returned Harry's smile, releasing his hold on the other man's chin to place his hand over the one on his cheek. "What is it, love?"

"Neville, you know it's difficult for me to talk about things... but... I've been thinking about... you asking me to wear an anal plug for you..."

Neville couldn't help but groan softly at Harry's words, the idea going straight to his groin. "Have I mentioned recently that you're a wonderful tease?" he asked, pulling Harry in for another kiss.

Harry snogged him, still blushing. As he pulled back, he asked, "What about you?"

Neville considered the question for a moment as he looked at Harry, savouring the blush in the other man's cheeks. "Most of what I enjoy, we've tried or talked about already. Although...I have thought about trying some position training with you."

"I - I don't know what that is," he confessed, looking into Neville’s eyes.

"It’s a bit like when I tell you to lie still for me in bed," Neville explained, taking Harry's hand in his and idly stroking the back with his thumb. "I would give you a few positions to remember, and order you to assume and hold one of them for as long as I wanted..." Neville's gaze drifted down to Harry's hand as he spoke, watching his thumb brush across the other man's knuckles.

Harry's breath hitched as he processed that idea. "I think... I think I'd like to try that," he said softly.

"Well, then you should probably eat so that we can get started, don't you think?" Neville teased, returning his gaze to Harry's face. Leaning in, he placed one more brief kiss to the fringe of Harry's hair as he straightened, before pulling away to return to his own chair across the table. "I think we may need to go shopping tomorrow, though," he added as he sat, smirking as he reached for his teacup.

Harry looked up curiously. "Shopping?" he asked in confusion.

Neville smiled into his tea cup, taking a long sip before replacing it onto the table. "How else do you expect me to find a plug for you?" he asked playfully. "And you never know; you may see something else that...sparks your interest."

Harry's cheeks flamed at the question. "I - I - oh.." he stammered. "I guess I wasn't thinking," he admitted, pushing the eggs around on his plate nervously.

"As adorable as it is to watch you blush like that, Harry, you need to eat," Neville encouraged, the corners of his mouth still turned upward in amusement. "I have plans for us when you're finished," he added before taking a bite of his eggs.

"Glad I'm such a source of amusement to you," Harry muttered as he took a bite of eggs, his cheeks still pink.

"Cheeky," Neville teased. "You know you're more than that, love."

Harry nodded, with a shy smile for the other man. "Yeah," he said. "I might."

Neville chuckled as he turned his attention to his breakfast, finishing off his eggs before leaning back in his seat to sip at his tea again. He watched Harry as his mind wandered for a moment, waiting for him to finish his own breakfast.

Harry took a few more bites and pushed his plate away half-finished. "I'm done. What is it you want to do?"

"First, I want you to go and fetch your collar," Neville said as he rose, pushing his chair in to the table. Collecting his and Harry's plates in his hands, he moved to deposit them in the sink as he added, "Kneel on the rug in front of the couch with it and wait for me."

Harry's stomach flip-flopped as he rose to follow Neville's instructions. He was nervous and excited and worried, all at once, and his hands shook slightly as he reached into his overnight bag for the collar. Returning to the sitting room, he knelt in front of the sofa and waited.

Neville washed the dishes quickly, using the time to focus his thoughts before joining Harry in the living room. He could have used magic for it and been done, but the anticipation of drawing out the wait had been too good to pass up. After drying his hands, Neville stepped into the doorway of his living room, his eyes raking over Harry's kneeling form slowly before he approached. "Hand me your collar," he ordered as he stood in front of the other man, holding out his hand for it.

Harry looked up in surprise at Neville's tone, something flashing across his face too fast for Neville to register it properly. Harry lifted it up to him with both hands, like an offering, his green eyes wide.

Neville took the collar from Harry, leaning over him to circle the leather band around his neck. "From now on, Harry, you're always to wear this when you're with me, unless I tell you otherwise," Neville told him as he clasped the collar at the back of Harry's neck. His fingers traced the leather back around to the ring in the front as he straightened, hooking one finger into the ring and tugging it gently. "Is that understood?"

Harry whimpered softly, eyes wide, but shook his head. "Whenever I'm with you? Or just when we're alone?" he asked with some trepidation.

Crouching down in front of Harry, Neville moved his hand to cup his cheek as he spoke. "There will be times I'd want you to wear it out," Neville answered honestly. "It can be covered with a glamour when that happens, so that only we'll know it’s there. Can you agree to that?"

Harry considered that for a moment. "As long as no one can see it," he agreed softly. "I - I don't want our sex life on the cover of the _Prophet_..."

"Neither do I, love," Neville agreed, leaning in to press his lips to Harry's before he straightened. He took another moment to look Harry over appreciatively before he returned his attention to the other man's face. "I think you're wearing a bit much, though, don't you?"

Harry blushed and looked down at himself; he was wearing nothing but the trousers he'd thrown on before breakfast. He stood and stripped them off, looking at Neville uncertainly.

"Good boy," Neville murmured approvingly. "Now, you said you wanted to try position training, didn't you?"

"Yes, Neville," he whispered, swallowing nervously.

Neville smiled, taking a step back from Harry to give him more room to move. He looked over Harry's posture for a moment, starting to circle him slowly. "Fold your arms behind your back and spread your legs a bit more."

Harry shifted his feet hip width apart and crossed his arms over the small of his back, his hands holding his forearms lightly. "Like this?" he asked, seeking approval.

"Perfect," Neville said, nodding. "If I tell you to display yourself, this is what I want to see." Stopping in his circling of Harry, Neville smiled at him before pointing to the floor. "Kneel; I'm going to teach you all of the positions I want to see before we really test your memory of them."

Harry knelt, looking up at Neville uncertainly as he did.

Neville examined his posture for a moment, considering the adjustments he wanted to make before speaking. "Sit back on your heels a bit more and rest your hands on your thighs."

Harry relaxed back onto the tops of his heels and laid his hands, palm down, on his thighs. His eyes were trained on Neville's face.

Neville looked over his position for a moment, contemplating having Harry bow his head as well before finally nodding in approval. "Unless I have you holding something, this is how you'll kneel for me from now on, understood?"

Harry nodded, grateful that the first two positions were relatively simple and easy to remember.

Neville reached out to ruffle Harry's hair. "Your next position is 'down'. Lean forward until you can rest your forehead on the floor, and stretch your arms out in front of you."

Harry thought about that for a few seconds, then leaned forward onto his hands and lowered himself down to the ground, his arse rising slightly as he did so, and stretched his arms out, resting his weight more on his elbows.

"Very good, Harry." Neville resumed his slow circling of the other man as he looked him over, his gaze lingering on his raised arse with an appreciative smile. "Sit up and relax for a moment."

Harry pushed himself back up and smiled shyly at him as he remained kneeling in front of him, belatedly remembering to put his hands on his thighs.

Neville chuckled as he noticed the position Harry returned to. "I told you that you could relax, love," he said, moving to lean against the mantel of the fireplace for a moment. "Is kneeling relaxing to you?"

Harry considered the question thoughtfully. "I... don't know," he finally said. "I didn't think you'd want me to stand up, and then when I realised how I was positioned, I remembered that you told me to have the full position whenever I was kneeling for you... so ... I just did it."

Neville nodded. "I wouldn't have been upset if you’d chosen to get up or just sit back on the rug, since I told you to relax. Though I _am_ rather pleased that this is what you chose."

Harry blushed as he thought about that. "I'm glad."

Neville smiled to acknowledge Harry's words, before allowing his eyes to roam over him for a moment. Finally, he returned his eyes to Harry's face and his smile widened. “All right, are you ready for the challenging part of all this?”

Harry's eyes widened and he bit his lower lip as he nodded. "I - I hope so?"

“You'll do fine, Harry,” Neville reassured. “Each time I tell you a position to move into, you're to hold it until I order you into another or tell you to relax again, is that understood? No turning your head to watch me if I move, and no moving to respond if I touch you while you're in position.”

Harry nodded his understanding. "I'll try, Neville," he said, a faint blush to his cheeks.

"Down," Neville ordered as he pushed himself away from the fireplace, taking a slow step closer to Harry.

Harry assumed the position, a little awkward and slow, but eventually correct. His forehead touched the floor and he trembled slightly.

Neville took a step to Harry's side, taking in his posture with a faint smile before noticing the subtle trembling of his body. "Why are you shaking, Harry?" he asked as he began to move again, tracing a now-familiar circle around the other man.

Harry swallowed, but answered from his position, his voice slightly muffled. "I - I don't know, really. I think I'm... I'm afraid of disappointing you..."

"You need to worry less, love," Neville said gently. Stopping his circle just behind Harry, so that he would be out of his sight when he moved, he added in a more commanding tone, "Display."

Harry's breath hitched at Neville's tone, and he panicked as his mind went blank for a few seconds. Once he took a breath, however, his memory returned; he pushed up and stood, assuming the position. His arms were crossed across the small of his back, but his feet were only about eighteen inches apart.

Neville checked Harry's posture as he finally moved, noting the distance between his legs with a slight frown. They were spread, but not as much as they had been the first time. Stepping up behind Harry, Neville gently curled one arm around his waist, placing his other hand on one of Harry's hips. "Feet a little further apart, Harry."

Harry widened his stance obediently, fighting the urge to lean back against the other man. "I'm sorry, Neville."

"It's all right," Neville said as he turned his face in toward Harry's neck and nuzzled him briefly, before stepping back from him. He hovered behind him silently for a moment, watching to see if Harry would move or try to look for him.

Harry's head moved fractionally before he caught himself. He returned to position, biting his lip again as he repeated, "I’m sorry."

Neville acknowledged Harry's words with a small nod as he moved back into the other man's line of sight, though he still stayed a bit off to one side. "Down."

Harry took a deep breath and moved more confidently back into the Down position, forehead against the floor.

“Good boy,” Neville murmured. He'd half-expected Harry to hesitate again, after tripping himself up twice in a row, and watching Harry move with confidence warmed him deeply. Moving quietly across the floor, Neville moved to sit on the sofa in front of Harry, taking a moment to let his eyes wander over the other man's body in appreciation.

Harry smiled to himself, though Neville couldn't see it. He wanted so badly to make Neville happy, he was determined to get better with obeying commands and anything else he was asked to do.

"Kneel," Neville said after a long moment, as he settled himself comfortably against the back of the couch.

Harry pushed up into the kneeling position, resting his hands gently on his thighs. From this position, he could watch Neville, and his green eyes searched the other man's face for his reaction.

Offering Harry an approving smile, Neville met his eyes. "You're doing very well, love. Display again."

Harry stood, assuming the position correctly this time, and smiled at him shyly.

"Perfect." Neville shifted his position on the sofa, leaning against one arm as he watched Harry. "How do you feel right now, Harry?"

Harry considered the question seriously. "A - A little embarrassed, I guess," he admitted. "But I like how you're looking at me."

"Why are you embarrassed?" Neville asked as he allowed his gaze to drift almost lazily down Harry's body.

Harry blushed under the scrutiny. "Because... I don't know. Because it's ..." he trailed off awkwardly.

"It's what?" Neville glanced briefly to Harry's face again as he spoke, arching one eyebrow in question before he resumed looking over Harry's body slowly.

Harry hesitated. "... Embarrassing?" he tried with a chuckle.

Neville chuckled as well, as his eyes traveled back up along Harry's body to settle on his face once more. "Try again." Although his tone held a hint of command, it was still gentle, and Neville smiled as he added, "You won't be moving from that position until you can answer me."

Harry bit his lip, lowering his eyes to stare at the floor. To his credit, he didn't even try to move from the position as he searched for an answer that would satisfy Neville. "I don't know," he finally replied. "I just... I don't know why you want to look at me."

"Because you don't like the way you look?" Neville asked, leaning forward to brace his elbows against his knees. "Or is it something else?"

Harry hesitated. "Well, it's not like I'm good-looking," he said finally.

Neville's eyes widened, and it took all of his self-control to keep from jumping up at that. Realising it would likely startle Harry more than anything, he took a deep breath to steady himself before he beckoned Harry closer. "Come here."

Harry stepped towards the other man, still keeping his eyes trained on the floor. He was sure, from the change in tone, that he'd disappointed Neville. "I'm sorry..." he began softly again.

"Don't," Neville said, reaching out to pull Harry into his lap. "Don't apologise to me, Harry." Slipping one hand beneath Harry's chin, Neville tipped his face up to force him to meet his eyes. "You owe that to _yourself_ , but not to me. I _know_ how good-looking you are."

Harry's eyes widened at that, as he looked into Neville's face. "I - what?"

"I don't need to hear you apologise for saying such a thing. _You_ do; you have no reason to say that about yourself." Neville held Harry tightly against him with one arm around his waist, keeping him from turning his face away with the other. "Why would I enjoy looking at you the way I do, if I didn't find you attractive?"

Harry looked at Neville as though he had suddenly begun speaking Parseltongue. "I never thought of that," he said honestly. "P- I mean, I never thought of myself as attractive." He leaned in to nuzzle Neville's neck and added in a whisper, "Not like you are."

Neville tightened his arm around Harry as he spoke. He'd heard him sound as though he was stumbling over a name like that before, and it was indication enough of why Harry thought the way he did. "Why don't you find yourself attractive?" he asked after a moment, turning to look into Harry's eyes again. "And I do mean _you_ ; not why anyone else has ever said you weren't."

Harry closed his eyes and laid his forehead against Neville's cheek. "Oh, Nev... I don't know."

Sighing, Neville brought one of his hands up to cup Harry's cheek, pulling him in for a brief kiss. "I don't like to hear you talk about yourself that way."

"I'm sorry, Neville. I'll try harder, all right? It's just... hard sometimes, you know?" Harry’s voice wavered with an emotion Neville couldn’t place.

"I know," Neville murmured. Moving the hand that had been on Harry's cheek to thread his fingers through the other man's hair, Neville settled back against the couch. "I do wish you'd talk to me, though, Harry," he admitted after a moment. "I worry about you..."

"I'm all right," Harry said automatically, wincing at the pained look that swept across Neville's face. "I -" he stopped and took a deep breath. "I _will_ tell you, love. I promise. Just… not yet."

Neville sighed again, pulling Harry closer. “You know I'll wait until you're ready, Harry, but you need to understand that this isn't hard for only you.”

"I know, Neville." Silence stretched between them for a moment before he continued awkwardly, "I appreciate your patience with me..."

“It's something you have to tell me in your own time, love; I can understand that.” Neville leaned in to press a kiss against Harry's forehead. “You need to tell me because you're ready, not because I forced it out of you.”

Harry closed his eyes briefly. "I'm trying, Neville. I promise I am."

“I know you are,” Neville said softly, stroking Harry's back. “I'll wait, Harry, I promise. For as long as you need me to.”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	7. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
> 

Chapter 10

 

Harry adjusted the collar of his jumper, his fingertips reaching up to trace the leather thong around his neck. To everyone else, it was a leather necklace with a small Golden Snitch charm, but he and Neville knew it was actually his collar, Transfigured by Neville just before they left the house for the Weasleys' annual Christmas party. He looked around the living room of The Burrow and smiled to himself. George and Angelina were talking with Arthur, and Hermione was chatting with Ginny while Draco exchanged bored looks with Dean Thomas, Ginny's on-again-off-again-beau. Ron was sprawled in front of the fireplace, playing with Teddy and Victoire, while Bill and Fleur looked on indulgently. Molly, Augusta and Andromeda were bustling around the kitchen and threatening everyone who got it their way. Charlie was due home later that evening. Harry leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to Neville's cheek. "Happy Christmas," he whispered.

Neville smiled, looping his arm around Harry's waist and pulling him closer to his side. "Happy Christmas, Harry." Leaning in, Neville pressed a kiss of his own to Harry's cheek. "Care to mingle a bit, love?"

"I just need to nip out to the loo first," Harry said, sotto voce. "Too much eggnog." He squeezed Neville's knee and waited for the other man's permission.

Neville gave a small nod. "Go on, I'll wait for you here."

Harry stood, making his way down the hall to the loo. As he stepped back out afterwards, he saw a familiar pair of shoes descending the stairs. His breath hitching, Harry ducked through the side door out into the garden in order to avoid him. He stood with his back against the side of the house and breathed deeply. He closed his eyes and tried to stay calm.

Percy paused on the stairwell as he caught a fleeting glimpse of Harry's hair as the dark-haired wizard darted out the door into the garden. He knew the other man had been invited over for the holidays, but he hadn't expected him to actually show up. Allowing Harry a moment of peace outside, Percy moved slowly down the remaining stairs before opening the garden door, closing it quickly behind him as he stepped outside. "I'd almost think you were avoiding me, Harry, ducking out here like that."

Harry's eyes snapped open at Percy’s voice. Turning, he faced the other man with his arms crossed and his head up - a definite change to how Percy had come to expect him to respond. "I was. I didn't want to cause a scene at Christmas, not when your mum and everyone is working so hard to make it a nice celebration."

If Percy was surprised by Harry's reaction, his face didn't show it as he smiled, taking a step closer to Harry. "Now, why do you think I would want to cause a scene? We're both capable of acting like adults, don't you think?"

Confusion flashed across Harry's face, but he stepped back as Percy stepped forward. "I - I certainly hope so," he finally told the other man.

"I'm hurt you give me so little credit; assuming I'd make a fuss in front of the family like that." His tone was conversational as he continued to move towards Harry until the other man's back hit the side of the house. "As if you're _worth_ that," he added quietly with a sneer.

Harry flinched as his back hit the side of the house, trapping him between Percy and it. "Knock it off, Percy," he snapped, hoping the sharpness in his tone would cause the other man to back off before he got close enough to see how badly Harry was starting to shake.

Percy chuckled, leaning in towards Harry with his satisfied smile still in place. "All bark and no bite to back it up with," he mused. "We both know that you wanted to see me. Why else would you have actually come today?"

Harry shook his head. "I'd be happy to never see you again," he told the other man defiantly. "I came to spend Christmas with my _family_."

"I'm hurt," Percy said, adopting a pouting expression, reaching out to gently caress Harry's cheek. "I thought you loved me? Don't you remember?" Leaning in closer, Percy placed his lips near Harry's ear as he spoke. "You're the one who left me, Harry; and now you talk to me like I've done something wrong?"

Harry shied away from Percy's touch, but was stopped as his head touched the side of the house behind him. He brought his hands up to push the other man backwards and away from him. "You nearly _killed_ me, Percy! Of course I fucking left you!"

Percy allowed himself to be pushed back a step, arching one eyebrow curiously. "Do you think, if I'd been aiming to kill you, that I would have stopped? I was teaching you a lesson, if you'll recall." His tone hardened as he looked Harry over pointedly. "One, it seems, that you're in serious need of learning again."

Harry sucked in a breath, panic starting to close in on him. "No," he told Percy. "Just stay away from me."

"Oh, come now," Percy said softly, his tone light again as he closed back in on Harry, pinning him firmly against the wall of the house. "I love you, remember? Even after everything, I only want to help you." Percy placed one of his hands on Harry's hip as he leaned against him.

"I said, stop it! Get away from me!" Harry hissed, pushing the other man backwards more forcefully as he tried to step around him.

Percy snatched at Harry's wrist with a snarl as the other man tried to move past him. He threw Harry back against the wall of the house, too focussed on him to notice the sound of the door opening behind him.

Neville stepped out into the garden after being unable to find Harry near the loo when he hadn't come back out into the main room of the house. Leaving the door open behind him, expecting to simply walk back inside with the other man, he froze as he took in the scene in front of him. Percy had just thrown a rather angry and terrified looking Harry against the wall of the house, and in an instant, the name Harry had occasionally mentioned and never finished clicked in his mind. "Harry," he said loudly, more to gain the other man's attention than to be commanding. "I think we should go inside, don't you?"

Harry's eyes snapped to Neville's instantly, relief flooding his features. "Neville!" he choked out

Percy glanced over his shoulder at Neville and laughed, turning back towards Harry. "You'd take him over me, pet?" Percy's eyes glinted with a mixture of malice and mirth as he brought his hand up to touch Harry's cheek again.

"Harry, come here," Neville said from behind him, stepping closer to the two as he narrowed his eyes at Percy.

Harry tried to push Percy away and go to Neville, but the redhead held him firmly against the wall. "Percy, stop it," Harry pleaded.

Unable to stop himself from laughing again, Percy released his hold on Harry and straightened, turning his gaze towards Neville. "Still so in need of a firm hand, Harry," he said in an amused tone, as he moved closer to Neville with a wicked smile. "Perhaps I should offer your lover here some advice on how to handle you properly."

Neville tensed at Percy's words, and before he could think it through, his fist collided with Percy's nose with a loud _crunch_ -ing sound. The other man lost his balance at the blow and landed on his arse on the ground, glaring up at Neville. "I'd sooner snap my own wand in half than hurt him," Neville hissed as he loomed over Percy. "And if you ever touch him again, you'll have much worse than a broken nose to deal with."

Harry stared in wide-eyed panic at a furious Percy, sprawled out between them on the ground, and Neville, whose own anger was radiating off him in crackling waves.

"Harry," Neville said softly, without taking his eyes off of Percy, in case he tried anything. He could feel himself shaking in his anger, and it was taking all of his willpower to keep from lashing out further at the man on the ground in front of him. "Please, come here..."

Harry stepped hesitantly to Neville's side. "I want to go home," he said.

Neville relaxed slightly, curling a protective arm around Harry's waist. "So do I," he murmured. "Do you want to say goodbye to everyone?" he asked, his anger slowly easing now that Harry was safe. Percy snorted and opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly silenced by a deadly glare from Neville.

Harry shook his head, trembling against Neville's side. "I just - need to get out of here," Harry said, his own eyes locked on Percy fearfully. "Will you make our excuses for us, Neville? Please?"

"I don't trust you to Apparate like this," Neville said, guiding Harry towards the door. "Go straight to the Floo; I'll tell them something and be right behind you, all right?"

Harry nodded silently, looking over his shoulder at Percy, glaring at them from where he was still sprawled on the ground.

Percy's lips pulled back into a sneer as he met Harry's eyes. “How sweet a protector you have, Harry,” he mocked, reaching to draw his wand from the pocket of his trousers.

“Go on, love,” Neville encouraged, his back still turned to the other man as he ignored his outburst.

Harry's eyes widened as he watched Percy draw his wand. "Neville, look out!" He pushed Neville behind him as he spun around to face Percy, drawing his own wand from his wrist sheath as he did. " _Protego! Expelliarmus!_ "

Percy let out a growl of frustration as his wand flew out of his hands and into Harry's. Setting his jaw firmly, he glared at the two men in front of him without moving, the danger of being unarmed enough of a deterrent to further antagonising.

"Thank you," Neville murmured, curling his arms around Harry's waist again.

Harry leaned backward into Neville's strong embrace, never taking his eyes off Percy as his mind tried to process what had just happened. He'd been unable to stand up to Percy for himself - but when Neville was threatened, there was no hesitation. As the adrenaline left him, he began to shake violently. "Enough," he told the glowering redhead. "Come near me again, and I'll not only file a complaint, I'll show your parents the Pensieve memories."

Percy stiffened at Harry's threat and gave a reluctant nod after one long moment, although his hands balled into fists at his sides.

"Let's go home, Harry," Neville suggested. "Please?"

Harry nodded and turned to bury himself in Neville's arms. "Let's" he agreed.

Neville pressed a kiss against Harry's hair before guiding him through the house, muttering apologies and excuses about neither of them feeling well to the Weasleys as they passed. When they finally reached the Floo, he offered the powder to Harry first with a small, encouraging smile.

Harry paused to toss Percy's wand to a surprised Ron, who caught it easily with his Keeper's reflexes. "Your brother probably wants that back," Harry said quietly.

Ron's eyes widened and he nodded his understanding. "Right," he agreed.

Neville bit his tongue to keep from adding a comment of his own, knowing it would probably be the last thing Harry needed at the moment. Taking a slow breath to ease the last of his nerves, he kept his arms around Harry's waist for as long as he could, before he released him to step into the Floo, not quite ready to let him go after their ordeal.

Harry took a pinch of Floo powder, stepped into the fireplace, and called out Neville's Floo address. Once there, he stumbled out of the fireplace and immediately ran for the bathroom, only making it halfway down the hall before he retched violently, dropping onto his knees and sicking up all over the floor.

Neville followed through the Floo a moment after Harry, catching a brief glimpse of him as he tore towards the bathroom. Taking a step after him, the sounds of Harry being sick gave him pause and he removed his wand from his trousers. He cast a quick cleaning charm at the floor around Harry first, before spelling his kettle in the kitchen to begin brewing some tea and summoning what he'd come to think of as _Harry's_ quilt from the bedroom. "Harry," he said softly, catching the quilt as it drifted towards him and draping it around Harry's shoulders as he knelt behind him. "Are you all right?"

Harry was still on all fours on the floor, chest heaving, before he pushed backwards onto his knees, wrapping the quilt Neville had Summoned gratefully around his shoulders. He couldn't bring himself to speak just yet, leaning backwards against Neville weakly. Neville wrapped his arms around Harry's waist as he sat up, resting his cheek against the other man's shoulder, waiting for him to feel up to speaking. Harry's shaking developed slowly into full-blown sobbing as they knelt there in the hall. He curled in on himself, sliding onto his side, tears streaming down his face.

"Come on, Harry," Neville murmured, gently lifting the other man in his arms and pulling him into his lap. Leaning his back against the wall, he cradled Harry to his chest, running his hand lightly along his back. "You're safe, love; it's all right."

"I'm... sorry..." Harry hiccoughed through his tears. "I'm... so... sorry...."

"You have nothing to be sorry for; it's all right," Neville said again, holding Harry a little tighter. Turning his face slightly, he pressed a gentle kiss to Harry's forehead, continuing to move his hand over his back to soothe him.

Harry wrapped his arms around Neville's neck and clung to him tightly, still sobbing. "Per...cy... he... tried to... hurt... you..."

"But you stopped him." Neville placed another kiss to Harry's forehead with the first hint of a real smile tugging at his mouth since he'd stepped into the garden at The Burrow. "Thank you for that. You were brilliant."

Harry's sobs were quieting, but he was still clinging to Neville. "I'm... sorry... I don't... know... what... I'd have done... if he... hurt you..."

Neville tightened his arm around Harry's waist, bringing his other hand up to thread through his hair lightly. "It's all right. _I'm_ all right."

Harry clung to him as his sobs stopped and his breathing slowly evened out. "Neville.... I.... I'm so sorry...." he repeated.

"Sorry for what? You haven't done anything." Neville gave him a small smile before the sound of the tea kettle whistling in the kitchen reached his ear. "Do you want some tea, love? It might help calm your nerves a bit more..."

Harry nodded. "Yes, please," he said in a small voice, wrapping the quilt more tightly around himself.

"Go sit on the sofa, I'll bring it to you," Neville said, as he loosened his hold on Harry to allow him to move.

Harry stood slowly, swaying a bit as he did. He put a hand against the wall to steady himself. "All right," he whispered, moving gingerly toward the sitting room.

Neville kept his eye on Harry as he stood, waiting until the other man was safely seated on the sofa before he allowed himself to turn his back to him to enter the kitchen and fix him a cup of tea. Although he had no interest in it for the moment, Neville poured himself a cup as well, so that Harry wouldn't feel awkward being the only one drinking. Holding the two cups carefully in his hands, he carried them into the sitting room and sat beside Harry on the sofa, handing him one of the cups.

Harry took the cup and wrapped his hands around the warm mug gratefully. "Ta," he said quietly, staring into the mug as though it held some sort of answer for him.

Neville set his own cup aside untouched, knowing at best it would only turn his stomach. Placing one hand gently on Harry's knee, he watched the other man, uncertain what more he could do without making the situation worse. "Are you all right, Harry?"

Harry looked up and frowned at Neville's expression. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I'm sorry you got dragged into that."

"It’s not your fault," Neville said, with a small shake of his head. "I chose to step in, didn't I?"

Harry looked thoughtful at that. "I - thank you for that," he murmured. "I... I don't know what he would have done to me, if you hadn't."

"Why didn't you tell me about him?" Neville asked, giving Harry's knee a light squeeze. "I wouldn't have let you go off alone, if I'd known..."

Harry chewed his lower lip. "What would you do, Nev? Go with me to the loo? Never let me leave your side?"

"No," Neville admitted, pulling his hand away to retrieve his cup of tea. "But I could have kept a better eye on you. If I hadn't gone looking for you when I did..." His voice trailed off and Neville took a long sip from his tea to try and calm himself again.

Harry looked at him curiously. "Why _did_ you come looking for me?" he asked. "I couldn't have been gone that long..."

"Long enough for me to worry," Neville answered seriously. "You've never _not_ come straight back to me when you go off on your own; I went to make sure that you were all right, but couldn't find you anywhere in the house. It worried me."

Harry nodded, still clutching his tea tightly, although he had yet to take a sip from it. "I'm sorry I worried you, Neville. I only stepped outside for a minute, but then Percy was there, and..."

"In all fairness," Neville started somewhat reluctantly, looking down at his own cup of tea. "It wasn't only how long you were gone that had me looking for you..."

Harry looked at him in confusion. "Then what else was it? Did something happen?"

Neville's cheeks flushed, and he couldn't bring himself to meet Harry's eyes as he answered. "No, I... When I Transfigured your collar, I cast a monitoring charm on it," Neville said. "It would only go off if you were hurt or upset, but...I'm sorry, Harry, I should have asked you first."

Harry froze, staring wide-eyed at Neville. "Why... why would you do that?"

Neville swallowed. "I don't know... I just did," he answered. "I wish I could tell you there was a reason; that you were acting uncertain about going, or that I thought something might happen, but..." Neville shook his head and dared a glance at Harry's face. "I don't know why I did it. I'm sorry..."

Harry set his untouched mug down and reached out to take Neville's hand. "Tell me... what kind of monitoring charm it was. Please."

"It was basic," Neville said, looking down at Harry's hand on his. "If you were seriously injured or if something got you upset, it would alert me. That was all; nothing short of a serious situation would have set it off."

Harry processed that for a moment. "How long had it been 'set off' for?"

"It wasn't long," Neville answered after a few seconds of thought. “I'd already been making my way towards the loo, thinking you might have gotten ill, and then it triggered. It couldn't have been much more than a minute before I found you."

Harry frowned. "Oh..." he trailed off as he replayed the encounter with Percy in his mind. "I guess... he really does upset me."

"You seem almost surprised by that," Neville said. He stared down at their hands again as he took a deep breath. "Harry, I can put two and two together with what happened. Even without the details, I can guess at...what he's done."

Harry sighed. "I just... he says he loves me?"

"Do you believe him?" Neville asked, looking into Harry's eyes.

Harry thought about his time with Percy. Looking up, he saw the love - and the doubt - in Neville's eyes. "No," he whispered. "No, I ... no."

Neville relaxed. "I had no right to do what I did without telling you; I won't try to justify it like it was okay. But... at the same time, if I hadn't _known_ something was wrong, and tried to find you..." He lowered his eyes to their hands again and blinked back the few tears that stung the corners of his eyes as he stroked his thumb across Harry's knuckles. "I'm afraid to think about what could have happened."

Harry looked away. "Nothing that hasn't happened before, unless he finally would've managed to kill me... Which he wouldn't have done, not with everyone around."

Neville's breath caught in his throat at Harry's words. He remembered what little Hermione had been willing to tell him, and her description of Harry the night he arrived at the Manor. Still, he'd hoped that it had been a single occurrence; the final straw in a relationship that had never gotten physical like that before. Forgetting about both his and Harry's tea, which had grown cold by now anyway, Neville pulled the other man into his arms, burying his face against his neck as their cups clattered to the floor. Choking back a sob, he wrapped his arms around Harry and held him close. "Why didn't you tell me..." he whispered, so softly that it was almost inaudible.

Harry's eyes welled up as he clung to Neville. "I couldn't," he whispered back. "I didn't think you would want me if you knew. I thought I could just keep it secret; I was so ashamed..."

Neville's arms tightened around Harry and he took a ragged breath. "I love you, Harry... Your past could never change that." Neville rested his head against Harry's shoulder, squeezing his eyes closed for a moment and focussing on steadying out his breathing. "I'm not going anywhere, love, I promise you that."

Harry's tears were drenching Neville's shoulder as he cried. "Neville, please... I love you too..."

Lifting his face, Neville brought one hand up to lift Harry's chin so he could look into the other man's eyes. His other hand moved up to cup his cheek, wiping away the stream of tears there with his thumb. "What do you need me to do? How can I make you feel better?"

"Forgive me..." Harry pleaded. "Forgive me, please..."

Neville opened his mouth to protest- to tell Harry he'd done nothing wrong to need forgiveness. But something in the other man's expression stopped him, and he pulled Harry against him again. "I forgive you," he whispered in Harry's ear.

Harry sagged against him. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you, Neville. I ... I'm so sorry," he mumbled against his neck. "Will... would you... I want to be yours, Neville. Only yours."

"Silly Harry," Neville murmured with a faint hint of amusement in his voice. Turning, he pressed a kiss to Harry's cheek as he held him close. "You're already mine, remember?"

Harry nuzzled Neville's neck. "You - do you - still want me?"

"Of course I do," Neville assured, smiling as Harry nuzzled his neck.

Harry pulled back and chewed on his lower lip. "Will you - still - when you know everything?"

Bringing both of his hands up to hold Harry's face, Neville looked into his eyes with a more serious expression. "Yes," he answered simply, hoping the honesty of the statement would be enough for Harry. "Telling me won't change how I feel, Harry; I promise."

Harry tilted his face to kiss Neville tentatively. Then he shifted backwards and moved to the armchair, sitting with his elbows on his knees, and asked, "Are you... sure... that you want to know, Neville?"

Neville suppressed a frown when Harry moved away from him, moving to the arm of the sofa nearest to the chair, but not pushing his luck by moving any closer. "As long as you're ready to tell me."

Harry sighed and looked at his shoes. "As I ever will be, I suppose," he said. "I was with P-" he took a deep breath, "Percy for over a year."

Neville gave a small nod, settling back against the arm of the sofa as he listened.

Harry’s voice was a flat monotone as he outlined how his relationship with Percy had progressed and, finally, crossed the line. “It started as just rough sex,” Harry said softly. “When he would get mad, he’d take me up against a wall, or not prepped. After a while, it wasn’t only when he was mad… it became all the time. Then he slapped me. He’d slap me and then make - make me suck him.” Harry paused and took a deep breath. “It just gradually got worse and worse, and I just kept taking it. He’d tell me what to do and if I didn’t do it, he’d hit me. Harder and harder, worse and worse... I just kept taking it. He convinced me that I deserved it. I… I fought back once, a little, early on… it got… worse… after that…” Harry trailed off for a moment, lost in memory.

"Go on," Neville encouraged quietly, after Harry was silent for a moment, not trusting himself to say much more just yet.

Harry swallowed heavily and stared at his hands. "He - when I tried to fight back, he used magic against me."

Neville's eyes widened and he straightened in his seat. "What... What did he do?"

Harry's voice was a monotone again. "He... pinned me down, spread out on my back, and threatened to castrate me. Said he could make it so I'd never enjoy sex again." Harry's voice wavered. "One flick of his wand, he said."

" _Bastard_ ," Neville hissed under his breath, threading his fingers through his hair as he tried to calm the flare of anger he felt by taking a slow, deep breath.

Harry flinched and went quiet.

Glancing at Harry, Neville bit his lower lip. "I'm sorry, it's just..." Shaking his head as he trailed off, Neville made a small gesture for Harry to continue.

Harry sighed. "I think he just wanted to scare me. Then he flipped me over on my stomach, still spread, and fucked me. That was the first time he never even pretended to care whether I was aroused or not."

"How much longer did you stay, after that?" Neville asked, his eyes focussed on his hands, rather than Harry.

Harry closed his eyes, knowing that this would be one of the things that would make Neville think less of him; that would make Neville see him differently. "Months," he whispered.

Neville gave a small nod to show he'd heard his answer, continuing to stare intently at his hands for a moment. He'd hoped to hear it would have been closer to the end, that it had been a cue to Harry to think about getting out. "Go on, Harry," he said at length, his voice quiet. "Please..."

Harry hung his head. "After that, I thought about leaving. But he was so bloody _sorry_ about it that I forgave him. Things were better for a little while... and then... we had another fight. He ...pinned me to the wall with magic and... and..."

Pushing himself off the sofa, Neville moved to kneel in front of Harry in the arm chair, grasping his hand and giving it an encouraging squeeze. "You can tell me..."

Harry couldn't look at Neville, though he squeezed his hand gratefully in return. "He fucked me... then used a broom... a bottle... I don't know what else. It became a new game for him - I'd come home, he'd take my wand so I couldn't fight back... although I never did, after that first time."

Neville lowered his eyes to their clasped hands, feeling his stomach turn. Lifting Harry's hand to his lips, he placed a few light kisses against his knuckles to buy a moment to compose himself. "Is there more?" he asked, almost hesitantly.

"When he got bored of that, he went back to beating me. Said I needed 'correction', needed to be taught my place. The worst time, he .. he used the Cruciatus Curse in between hitting me. I was.... really badly off. I couldn't even stand... and he just left me there, on the floor. He actually left the flat, like I wasn't worth healing. He'd always healed me before that... always apologised, always been so damned sorry... but then... then I knew... if I wasn't already dying, the next time, I would be." Harry's voice was quiet, flat and even, as though he was reciting a shopping list. "I couldn't heal myself, or Apparate, because Percy had my wand. Somehow, I got to the Floo and went to Hermione. She healed me."

Squeezing Harry's hand again, Neville looked up into Harry's eyes as he finished speaking. "I'm so sorry, Harry..."

Harry still refused to look at Neville, glancing away so he couldn't see the disgust and pity he was certain were in the other man's eyes. "Well... now you know."

Neville gave a small nod, hoping Harry would meet his gaze again after a moment. "Look at me, love," he said softly, when the other man continued to avoid looking at him.

Harry reluctantly looked down at the man he'd come to love, his stomach sinking as he waited for the rejection he knew was coming.

"Thank you for telling me all of this." Neville reached his free hand up to stroke Harry's cheek, hoping to reassure the other man. "I know it wasn't easy..."

Harry's eyes widened at Neville's gentle touch. "I've never ... never told anyone," he whispered.

"Then thank you again, for trusting me enough to tell me," Neville said, leaning up on his knees to brush his lips against Harry's.

Harry stared at Neville with a gobsmacked expression. "You - I - what?" he stammered.

"I said thank you," Neville repeated, a faint, affectionate smile pulling at his lips at Harry's confused reaction.

"But... " Harry trailed off and allowed himself to look into Neville's eyes, really look, for the first time since he'd begun recounting the story. "You... you still want me? Even knowing, I mean really knowing, that I'm damaged goods?"

"Of course I still want you," Neville said, stroking Harry's cheek. "But to the other part of your question, all I can say is that I don't see any damaged goods here. All I see is _you_ , Harry."

Harry's eyes widened fractionally before he closed them and nuzzled his cheek against Neville's hand. "Thank you," he whispered. "Neville, I..."

Neville allowed himself a small smile as Harry nuzzled his hand, relaxing finally as Harry seemed to accept that he really wasn't going to leave him. "What is it, love?"

Harry looked at him uncertainly. "I'd... I'd like to have a bit of a lie-down," he said.

Nodding, Neville rose to his feet, pulling Harry up with him. Wrapping his arm loosely around Harry's waist, he placed a kiss against his cheek before walking with him toward the bedroom.

Harry grabbed the quilt from the sofa as they walked past, heading for the bedroom. Once there, he gently pushed Neville down so that he was sitting on the bed, standing in front of him awkwardly. "Not a very nice Christmas present, was it, me dumping all that on you..."

"Nonsense," Neville said as he reached for Harry's hands. "I'm spending the day with you; that's all that matters for me."

"Still... I'd like to make it up to you," Harry said softly. "And to say ‘Thank You.’ I have something - a present - that I've been saving for you."

"Oh?" Neville arched one eyebrow curiously as he looked up at Harry, unable to keep the smile from his lips. "And what would that be?"

"Close your eyes?" Harry asked, with a small half-smile.

Chuckling softly, Neville closed his eyes for Harry, resisting the temptation to playfully peek at him when he seemed so intent on the surprise.

Harry stripped out of his clothing and retrieved a small wrapped box from the drawer he'd begun keeping some of his things in. He knelt down in front of Neville. "Keep your eyes closed and hold out your hand?" he asked.

Neville held out his hand obediently, squeezing his eyes closed a little tighter in an effort to keep his curiosity contained until Harry was ready.

Harry laid the box in Neville's hand and then assumed his "kneel" position, palms on thighs. "All right. Open your eyes."

Opening his eyes, Neville looked Harry over first and smiled, before really noticing the wrapped box in his hand. Removing the wrapping slowly, Neville glanced at Harry again before opening the box. Nestled inside were a jeweller's box and a black leather leash that looked as though it had been custom-made to match the collar Neville had given him. Inside the jeweller's box lay a small, heart-shaped tag for the collar, inscribed with the initials " _N.L._ " Harry chewed his lower lip as he waited for Neville's reaction.

Neville gasped quietly, his eyes widening as he looked at the gift Harry had given him. Resting the box against his knees, he withdrew the leash first, running his hands over the leather slowly in appreciation. He laid it aside after a moment to inspect the tag, running his thumb over the inscription of his initials before turning his eyes to Harry's face again. "Thank you," he managed to whisper, setting it beside the leash as he leaned down to cup Harry's face in his hands. "Thank you so much," he murmured before pressing their lips together.

Harry kissed him deeply, kneeling up slightly to meet him, though otherwise maintaining the position. As they broke apart, he met Neville's eyes. "I love you, Neville. And I'm yours."

"I love you, too." Neville reached for his wand for a moment to return Harry's collar to its natural appearance. He set his wand aside as he removed the tag from the jeweller's box, looking it over again with a smile before leaning closer to Harry to attach it to the ring on his collar.

Harry's breath hitched as Neville attached the tag. "I know it's not... I mean, I didn't get one that said "Property of" or anything like that, but... I wanted you to know that... My heart is yours," Harry stammered softly.

"It's perfect the way it is," Neville said, pressing another kiss against his lips. When he pulled away, he was beaming as he stroked Harry's cheek gently. "And my heart belongs to you, as well."

Harry nuzzled his hand, still kneeling before him. "I'm glad. I'm so glad you still want me..."

"I'll always want you, love," Neville murmured, pulling his hand away from Harry's cheek after a moment to take up the leash again, glancing from it to Harry for approval.

Harry nodded shyly at Neville's glance, tilting his head back to allow him better access.

Attaching the leash to Harry's collar, Neville's breathing sped up as he looked him over. He gave the lead an experimental tug, watching Harry's face for his reaction. Harry moaned softly at the tug, his eyelids fluttering closed.

Neville shifted on the bed, hoping to relieve some of the discomfort of the growing bulge in his trousers. "Stand up, Harry..."

Harry stood up quickly, the beginnings of his own arousal plainly evident as he did.

Neville's eyes roamed over Harry's body in appreciation, lingering for a moment on his erection before returning to his face. Smirking, he gave the leash another tug, signaling for Harry to bend his head for a kiss. A small, shy smile curved his lips as Harry took a step forward and bent his head to press his lips to Neville's. Reaching his other hand up to the back of Harry's head, Neville kissed him firmly, threading his fingers through the other man's hair. Harry moaned into the kiss, his hands moving to stroke over Neville's shoulders.

When he finally broke away from the kiss, Neville looked into Harry's eyes, breathing heavily. "Thought you wanted a lie down," he teased, still threading his fingers through Harry's hair.

Harry smiled. "I do... like this," Harry's fingertips traced the leash from Neville's hand back to his collar. "I ... I gave up control once, for all the wrong reasons. This time, I want to give up control for the _right_ reasons."

"I still don't know what I ever did to deserve you," Neville murmured before pulling Harry in for another kiss, laying slowly back onto the bed and pulling the other man with him.

Harry climbed onto the bed beside him, crawling up to snuggle into his side, kissing him desperately, his hand stroking down the front of Neville's jumper. Neville arched up slightly into Harry's hand. His fingers closed loosely around a handful of Harry's hair as he matched Harry's enthusiasm in the kiss, groaning against the other man's lips. Harry moaned approvingly as Neville's hand fisted in his hair, his lips parting to allow Neville's tongue entrance. Wrapping his hand once in the leash, Neville curled his arm around Harry's waist, leaving only enough slack for him to move if he needed to. Tilting his face, he deepened their kiss, tracing Harry's lower lip with his tongue before delving into his mouth. Harry gave a needy whimper and began sucking on Neville's tongue. Neville moaned against his lips, tightening his hold on Harry's hair and bucking his hips up to grind against him. Harry's answering moan was louder than his last one, in approval of both Neville's tightening hold and his movements. His own hips bucked in response, rutting slowly against him.

Neville broke away finally from the kiss, panting for breath as he tilted his head to bury his face against Harry's neck. "Need you," he breathed, marking a trail of light bites down toward his shoulder.

Harry whimpered in response. "Yes... please..." he groaned, arching upward into Neville's touch.

Not wanting to release his hold on Harry's leash, Neville removed his hand from the other man's hair, slipping it between them to fumble with the fastenings of his trousers. Harry's hands moved to help him, unfastening the trousers and pushing his jumper up his chest. Unwinding his hand from the leash with a hint of reluctance, Neville released his hold on it for a moment, nipping at Harry's shoulder before backing away enough to pull his jumper off entirely and tug his trousers down past his hips so that he could kick them off. Harry kissed Neville's chest as he pulled his jumper off, teeth scraping at a nipple, his hand gripping Neville's hip tightly.

"Harry," Neville gasped. His hand found the end of Harry's leash again, giving it an encouraging tug.

Harry moaned in response, his eyes closing as Neville tugged on the leash. He kissed his way up to Neville's ear to whisper, "I thought I'd like that, but I had no _idea_ how much..."

"You like it that much?" Neville asked breathlessly, watching Harry's face as he slipped his hand between them again, brushing his fingers against Harry's erection as he gave the leash another tug.

Harry's cock jumped, his eyes closing, as Neville gave another tug on the leash. He couldn't hold back the moan that accompanied the movement. "Yes," he breathed. "Oh, yes...."

" _Gods_ , I love seeing you like this," Neville murmured, burying his face against Harry's neck again as he wrapped his fingers around Harry's shaft and squeezed lightly.

Harry cried out, his hips pumping into Neville's hand almost involuntarily. His arms wrapped around Neville's neck and he clung to him.

Neville nuzzled Harry's neck, stroking his hand along Harry's length. "You have no idea what you're doing to me," he murmured.

Harry brought one hand down to tease Neville's own erection. "I think I might have... some idea..." Harry whispered.

Neville's eyes fell closed with a groan as he rolled his hips, seeking more contact. "I won't make it much longer like this," he admitted, nipping at Harry's shoulder and working his way up along the curve of his neck.

Harry whined as his fingers wrapped around Neville's cock. "Guess you'll have to.... decide what you... want most.... then," he breathed with a sudden smirk, " _Sir._ "

Neville's eyes snapped open with a sharp intake of breath. "Say that again..." he ordered, tugging on Harry's leash for emphasis.

Harry moaned and he pressed closer to Neville, eyes wide as he whispered, "You like that, do you, _Sir_?"

"Fuck, Harry," Neville groaned, squeezing his eyes closed and trying to calm his rapid breathing. "That word..."

"Glad I guessed right," Harry said. "Didn't think you'd be into 'Master' ... thought 'Sir' seemed to fit you better anyway..." His hand teased along Neville's length as he spoke, his breath hot in the other man's ear.

"You wicked...delightful tease," Neville murmured, bucking against Harry's hand with a shaky breath.

Harry's hand tightened around Neville's cock as he nipped his ear gently. "Yes, _Sir_ ," he agreed, still emphasizing the title.

Neville let out another groan before he withdrew his hand from Harry's cock, grasping the other man's wrist. "Do you like calling me that?" he asked, panting against Harry's neck.

Harry nodded. "I ...like your reaction to it," he admitted.

"Would you...try something for me?" Neville asked, brushing his lips against Harry's neck and kissing his way down toward Harry's shoulder.

Harry nodded. "What?" he asked. "Whatever it is, I'll try."

"Put on a show for me?" Neville dashed his tongue across his lower lip quickly in anticipation as he nuzzled Harry's neck again. "I want to hear you begging for me to fuck you...calling me that... while you prepare yourself for me."

Harry bit down on his bottom lip and blushed, but nodded against Neville's cheek. He rolled onto his back, his knees pulled up with his feet flat on the mattress. He reached for the lube in the nightstand. Neville sat up near Harry's feet, allowing his eyes to roam slowly over the other man, giving a gentle tug on Harry's leash for encouragement.

Harry moaned at the tug, squeezing lube onto his fingers as he spread his legs wider and dipped his hand down, teasing the entrance with one finger. "Like this, Sir?" he asked, almost inaudibly.

"Yes," Neville breathed, wrapping his hand loosely around his cock and stroking the length as he watched.

Harry bit his lip and slipped two fingers quickly inside himself, muffling a soft cry as he began to pump and twist his fingers. "Nghh... Sir... please... need you inside me," he panted.

"Need, or want?" Neville teased, despite the faint tremor to his voice.

Harry groaned as he added a third finger. "Both, Sir. Please..." he admitted softly as his fingers continued their work. "Please, Sir... I want you to fuck me. I _need_ you inside me... please..."

Neville shifted on the bed, moving between Harry's legs and leaning over him, bracing himself with one arm on the bed beside Harry's head. “Put your arms around my neck, Harry,” he said, nuzzling his face against Harry's neck.

Harry complied eagerly, withdrawing his fingers from his body and murmuring a soft cleansing charm before wrapping his arms around Neville's neck.

Positioning himself at Harry's entrance, Neville pushed his hips forward slowly, bending his head enough to claim Harry's lips with his own as he entered him. Harry moaned into the kiss as Neville pushed inside him, fighting to stay relaxed and adjust to the intrusion. His arms tightened around Neville's neck and his legs wrapped around his waist. Neville groaned as Harry's legs wrapped around him and he moved one hand to Harry's hip. When he finally broke away from their kiss, he trailed his lips down across Harry's jaw toward his ear, keeping his movements small and slow until Harry relaxed more.

After a moment, Harry's body stopped protesting and he began to move against Neville with a whimper. "Please, Sir..."

Not moving any faster just yet, Neville nuzzled Harry's neck. "Mine?" he asked quietly, although his voice was slightly strained from the effort of continuing to hold back.

Harry nodded, leaning his head up to nip his ear and whisper, "Yours."

“Oh, Harry," Neville breathed, burying his face against Harry's neck as he began thrusting into him.

Harry cried out, his back arching into Neville as his hips met the other man's thrusts. "Ahh... Neville..."

Removing his hand from Harry's hip, Neville slipped it between them, grasping the base of Harry's cock  
and stroking along his length in time with his thrusts.

Harry keened as Neville's hand stroked over his cock, his thrusts angled to brush his prostate with every movement. His toes curled as the tension in his body built and he clung tightly to Neville's strong shoulders.

"Not going to...last much longer," Neville groaned out against Harry's neck. He took a few shallow, ragged breaths as he thrust into Harry more quickly.

Harry whimpered and shook his head. "Neville, I... I'm..." He clung to Neville as he drew closer to the edge and words failed him.

"Come for me, Harry," Neville whispered, nipping at Harry's earlobe.

With a groan, Harry surrendered to the feelings that were threatening to overpower him, coming in a series of shuddering cries, clinging to Neville through it all.

Neville thrust a few more times into Harry, all sense of rhythm gone as he buried his face against Harry's neck again. He followed Harry over the edge a moment later, tensing above him and moaning his name against his neck. Harry continued to cling to Neville as he climaxed inside him, holding him tightly, running his fingers through his hair.

Neville pressed his forehead against Harry's shoulder as he panted for breath, not wanting to move until he was certain the arm supporting him wouldn’t give out. Moving carefully off of Harry, Neville curled himself against the other man's side, wrapping his arm around Harry's waist and holding him close as he nuzzled his shoulder gently. "Mine..." he murmured.

Harry shifted onto his side, pressing his back against Neville's chest and pulling the other man's arm more tightly around himself, He craned his neck backward to kiss Neville lightly. "Yours," he agreed.

Neville smiled against Harry's lips. "Happy Christmas, Harry..."

Harry took Neville's hand and wrapped the leash, still attached to his collar, around his palm. "Happy Christmas, Neville... Sir."

Chuckling, Nevile tugged lightly on the leash. "Tease," he mumbled affectionately, nuzzling Harry's neck again.

Harry smiled and pressed back against him. "Mmhmm," he agreed. "You love it."

Neville tightened his arm around Harry's waist, smiling against his neck. "I do," he agreed, running his thumb idly over the leather of the leash where it curled around his palm.

Harry smiled as his eyes drifted closed. "Good," he whispered. "Because I love you, too."

"Lucky me," Neville murmured, snuggling closer to Harry's back.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	8. Chapter 11 - Part A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
> 

 

Chapter 11 - Part A

 

“Doing all right, love?” Neville asked innocently as he guided Harry away from the Floo in the Leaky Cauldron. As the door to the pub closed behind them, he ran his hand over Harry's arse, pressing against the flared base of the anal plug he was wearing as he withdrew his wand from his robes to tap at the stone wall between them and Diagon Alley. They'd been careful to check that it wouldn't be noticeable for anyone who happened to look at Harry's arse while they were out, but there was still a faint tint of pink in the other man's cheeks. “You're looking a little...tense.”

"Am I?" Harry's voice was strained. "I can't imagine why..." His hand moved to trace over his collar, momentarily disrupting the glamour hiding it.

Neville turned away from the wall before he could finish opening it, reaching for Harry's hand to move it away from his collar. "If you don't want someone catching on to that, you might not want to play with it too much." Not releasing Harry's hand, Neville stroked his thumb over his knuckles for a moment. "Would you rather not do this, Harry? I won't be upset..."

Harry shook his head. "No... I want to. I said I would try..." he took a deep breath. "Neville... just... hold my hand?"

Offering him an encouraging smile, Neville nodded. “Everything will be fine, Harry,” he said, leaning in to place a kiss against his cheek. “You can do this.”

Harry nodded nervously, facing the entrance, his free hand clenching and unclenching at his side.

Turning back toward the wall, Neville tapped his wand against the stones again, opening the entrance into Diagon Alley for them. He squeezed Harry's hand as he took a step forward, not quite convinced that Harry was ready to go through with his idea.

Harry took a deep breath and swallowed hard as he followed Neville through the opening in the bricks. The plug wasn't very big, but it was a constant reminder, as was the feeling of his collar around his neck, though he knew no one else could see it. Neville had transfigured his leash into a leather bracelet, which the taller man was wearing on the wrist of his wand arm.

Diagon Alley wasn't overly crowded like it was most times, making it easy for Neville to walk beside Harry without having to guide them around groups of shoppers out in the street. He glanced at Harry out of the corner of his eye a few times as they walked, wanting to be sure Harry was all right and didn't reach up to disturb the glamour around his collar again. Once the cafe that had opened up beside Florean Fortescue's came into view, Neville gave Harry's hand another squeeze. “Would you feel better if we looked around the shops before we have lunch?” he asked. In hindsight, he could have done better than suggesting lunch for their date if he wanted to help Harry feel a little more at ease with wearing the plug out in public, but he'd been aiming for starting small.

Harry squeezed his hand nervously. "I'd rather have lunch first, if that's alright?" he answered softly. "Maybe we can have a look ‘round the shops after lunch?"

“Anything you want, love,” Neville said with a smile, as he led Harry toward the cafe. With the sun shining, Neville claimed one of the tables in the sunroom for them, pulling Harry's seat out for him before taking the one across from him and reaching for his hand across the table. “You still all right?”

Harry shifted awkwardly several times until he found a comfortable position and took Neville's hand gratefully. "Yes," he murmured.

Neville looked down at their clasped hands on the table and began stroking the back of Harry's soothingly with his thumb. When their menus appeared in front of them, Neville ordered for both of them before looking at Harry's face again. “You're doing very well, you know.”

"Thanks, Neville," he replied with a soft smile. His free hand reached up to fiddle with the collar, but he caught himself in time and reached for one of the water glasses instead.

'Good boy,' Neville mouthed silently with a small, approving grin. He'd been ready to reach for Harry's other hand before he could touch the collar, if he needed to, and was pleased to see Harry catch himself on his own.

Harry blushed and ducked his head.

The waitress bustled over to their table after a moment, setting their lunch in front of them with a smile. "Where did you want to go after this?" Neville asked, as the witch turned away to head back inside.

Harry shrugged. "I didn't have anywhere specific in mind," he replied. "Was there any place that you wanted to go?"

"We could pop in to the Quidditch shop," Neville suggested, sitting back in his chair and taking a sip from his water. "I know it's been a while since you've gotten to play, but maybe they'd have something to catch your eye?"

Harry grinned, his smile lighting up his whole face. "That'd be brilliant!" he exclaimed. His eyes took on a faraway look and he chuckled.

“What am I missing?” Neville asked before taking a bite from his sandwich.

Harry looked fondly at the other man. "I was remembering my first time on a broomstick. I was defending your honour."

Neville's cheeks tinted pink as he grinned. "Yes, I remember hearing all of the details after I got away from the hospital wing."

"I was _your_ protector, then," Harry said softly.

“And a great one, at that,” Neville murmured, lowering his gaze to their entwined hands and squeezing. His eyes strayed to Harry's transfigured leash around his wrist before returning to Harry's face. “Now that I think about it, I'm not sure I ever heard that story from your point of view. Care to regale me?” he teased.

Harry laughed and blushed. "I'm sure whatever you did hear was blown out of all proportion," he said dismissively. "Malfoy had your Remembrall and was threatening to leave it somewhere you'd never get it back. I didn't like seeing him make fun of you. So...." Harry shrugged. "I jumped on my broom and went after him."

“I doubt it was as simple as all that,” Neville said, still smiling as he shook his head. “You got yourself on the Quidditch team without a try-out, and the year had hardly begun. That must have been some rather spectacular flying.”

"I don't know," Harry said thoughtfully. "It was mostly instinct."

“Would you teach me?” Neville asked. “I mean, I'd have to buy myself a broom, but...”

Harry looked startled. "Teach you? Neville, you know how to fly..."

"Nowhere near like you," Neville said, shaking his head. "I can get around if I need to, but-" he trailed off for a moment to shrug, smiling shyly at Harry. "You'd leave me well in the dust if we went for a fly together, and I want to be able to do those things with you."

Harry smiled at him. "Of course I will," he said. "I have a couple of different brooms. We can practice on them and then you can decide if you want to buy one of your own."

“Thank you.” Neville's smile widened as he looked at Harry, squeezing his hand again to show he meant it. Harry nodded and finally turned his attention to the sandwich in front of him.

Still smiling, Neville pulled his hand away from Harry's as he turned his attention to his lunch as well. His mind wandered as he ate, casting a few glances at Harry when he thought the other man wasn't looking. When he'd finally finished his sandwich, Neville took a long sip from his water as he settled back comfortably in his chair.

Harry finished half his sandwich and smiled shyly at Neville as he, too, sipped at his water. As he picked up the other half of his sandwich, he asked impulsively, "Why do you keep staring at me?"

"I..." Neville paused, glancing down at his water as a faint blush rose in his cheeks again at being caught out. "Just doing some...sentimental musing."

"Oh?" Harry asked curiously. "About what? Care to regale me?" he teased in his turn.

“Just thinking how lucky I am,” Neville said, smiling at Harry's tone.

Harry ducked his head. "That's sweet of you to say," he whispered.

“It's true, love,” Neville said, watching Harry for a moment longer before nodding in the direction of his plate. “Finish up so we can look around the shops. You've got me rather excited about learning to fly properly; I want you to show me around the Quidditch shop a bit.”

Harry nodded and turned his attention back to his sandwich. Neville rummaged in his trouser pockets for money to cover their lunch, setting it on the table once Harry had finished eating. Standing and pushing in his own chair, Neville offered his hand to Harry as the other man stood as well. Harry stood gingerly, the plug inside him jostling against his prostate as he pushed back from the table. His cock sprang to attention and he was grateful he was wearing robes over his clothes. He took Neville's hand even as his cheeks flamed and he ducked his head.

Arching one eyebrow, Neville leaned in enough to press a brief kiss to Harry's forehead. “Still all right there, love?”

Harry nodded. "Fine," he answered a little breathily. "I'll be glad to get home."

“Saying that will only tempt me to stretch our date out longer,” Neville teased, chuckling as he led Harry away from the cafe and toward Quality Quidditch Supplies.

Harry groaned as he allowed Neville to tug him down the lane. He squeezed Neville's hand. "Not - not so fast, love," he murmured.

“Are you sure you're all right?” Neville asked as he slowed his pace. “We can always go home now, if it’s too much.”

A mischievous look crossed Harry's face, but then he frowned and shook his head. "I'm alright, Neville."

Neville gave a small nod and squeezed Harry's hand. As they stepped up to the Quidditch shop, he pulled the door open for Harry. “After you, then.”

Harry stepped past Neville and into the shop, pausing just inside the door as his eyes adjusted. Neville entered the shop behind Harry, blinking a few times in the dim lighting as he looked around. He recognised most of the products in the shop, from watching games and having passing knowledge of the various professional teams, but there were a few things along the shelves that were just beyond him, since he'd never played himself.

“Free reign, love,” he said softly enough for only Harry to hear him. “Show me around a bit; I'm lost in here.”

Harry took him around the shop, explaining the differences in the various broom models that were on display and the specialised equipment that was also for sale. By the time they'd finished a circuit of the store, Harry was grinning broadly.

Neville did his best to keep up with Harry's explanations, trying to remember all of the little differences between the products. When he caught sight of Harry's broad smile once they'd gone around the shop, he couldn't help but smile as well. “Thank you, Harry.”

Harry leaned in to give Neville a chaste kiss. "Thank _you_ , love. I can't wait to go flying with you," he said.

“Neither can I,” Neville answered sincerely. “Is there anything you wanted or that I should have before we give that a go, though? I'm sure you can imagine, if I don't even have my own broom these days, how unprepared I am.”

Harry shook his head. "We'll start on some of my old ones, and if you really like it, then I'll help you pick out a new broom that suits your flying style.”

Neville nodded before gesturing at the shelves with his free hand. “What about you, then? Did anything catch your eye for yourself? Or would you rather go someplace else?”

Harry shook his head again. "There's nothing I need right now, love. I _would_ like to stop over at George's for a minute, though."

“Of course,” Neville said, as he led their way towards the door and back out into the street. “Just promise not to let me get too sucked in by whatever new insanity he's cooked up.”

Harry chuckled. "I'll do my best, Neville," he agreed. "But you know what he's like..."

“Oh, yes...” Neville said with a half-hearted frown as he remembered the last thing he'd been talked into buying from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. “An excellent salesman, and a genius with his products, but I'd really rather not find myself roped into product testing without realising it again. It took hours for that smoke to stop blowing out my ears.”

Harry laughed. "Look at it this way: he only tests the products on people he trusts?"

Neville arched one eyebrow at Harry at that, although he was unable to keep the smile from his face. “I'd really hate to see what he does to people he's not fond of, then.”

Harry grinned. "Well, I could tell you what they did to my cousin Dudley..." He proceeded to tell Neville about the twins, their experimental toffees, and his Muggle relations.

By the time Harry had finished his story, Neville had tears in his eyes from laughing, and he dashed one hand at them. “Suddenly, product testing doesn't seem so terrible,” he chuckled, shaking his head. When he looked up to see they'd reached the shop, he reached for the door, opening it for Harry again, still grinning in amusement.

Harry smiled at Neville, chuckling himself, as he stepped past him into the shop. Looking around, he spotted George up on the landing to the second floor. "Oi!" he shouted. "You lot! Get to work!"

George laughed and waved to the couple. "Hello, Neville! Harry, someone's got to stand about and look pretty! It's my job today!"

Neville waved back up at George before nodding in the direction of the stairs up to the landing. “Want to go up and chat with him, love?”

Harry hesitated and whispered, "I'm not sure I can handle the stairs without blushing..."

“Hmm... I suppose he'd never believe it was from the laughter over your story as we walked over?” Neville asked teasingly before shaking his head. “Best not to tempt fate, I imagine.”

Harry waved George down onto the main floor. "How're things going?"

"Alright," the redhead replied. "Business is good, family is good and life is good. Angelina's agreed to marry me," he finished with a wide grin.

"That's wonderful! Congratulations, George," Harry said enthusiastically. "Hope Angelina knows what she's getting herself into!"

“That's great news,” Neville agreed with Harry, offering George a genuine smile. “Congratulations to you both.”

George eyed the two of them. "Are we going to hear some news from you two anytime soon?" he demanded with jovial curiosity. Harry blushed and looked at his shoes.

Neville squeezed Harry's hand, glancing at the other man out of the corner of his eye. “I...uhm...” he muttered nervously before looking down at his own feet with a faint blush rising in his own cheeks.

George threw his hands in the air in mock outrage. "This is no way to run a romance!" he bellowed. "Longbottom, you need to woo our Harry. Make him feel special."

"George, sod off," Harry muttered good-naturedly.

“Now, Harry,” Neville mock-chastised, with a grin, turning a bit more toward him. “George does have a bit of a point.” Still grinning, Neville reached out to thread the fingers of his free hand into Harry's hair, well away from his neck to avoid affecting the glamour on his collar as he pulled the other man in for a lingering kiss. “There,” he whispered when he finally pulled away, flashing Harry a cheeky smile. “Feel special, love?” Cheeks burning, Harry could only nod.

George crowed in approval. "Much better! Well, I must get back to looking good! If you want to say hello to Ron, Harry, he's in the stockroom." With that, George Apparated back up to the second floor, where he re-appeared leaning against the rail.

Chuckling at George's antics, Neville squeezed Harry's hand again. “Let's go visit Ron,” he said, with a small gesture of his head toward the door to the stockroom. “And then, if there's nowhere else you want to go, we'll go home,” he added, his voice low and the hint of a mischievous smile pulling at his mouth.

Harry nodded, his breath hitching at the promise in Neville's eyes. "Tease," he said, as they made their way to the stockroom.

Neville's smile pulled into a knowing smirk as he allowed his hand to drift, brushing briefly against Harry's arse and then moving away as though it had never happened. "You love it," he whispered.

Harry blushed and ducked his head as they stepped through the door into the stockroom. "Nev..." he whispered in response.

Ron's voice came from somewhere above them. "Oi! That was something I didn't need to see, you two..."

Neville shot Harry a somewhat apologetic smile before looking up. "Blame your brother, he provoked me," he replied in an amused tone as the ginger approached them.

Ron rolled his eyes. "No doubt," he agreed, as he greeted both men with a hug. "Good to see you, mate," he told Harry quietly. "I was a bit worried, after the way you left The Burrow the other night."

Harry nodded. "Sorry about that, Ron. It was just… Percy. I didn't want to make a scene." Neville bit his tongue at Harry's words, and gripped Harry's hand tighter in silence.

Ron ducked his head and nodded. "Yeah. I, uh-" he darted a glance at Neville and fell silent. "Well, glad everything's all right."

Harry squeezed Neville's hand in return as he nodded at Ron. "Everything's all right, Ron. No worries."

"Should we be letting you get back to work?" Neville asked awkwardly after a moment, looking between Ron and Harry.

"I do work for a right slave driver," Ron said with a good-natured grin. "Drinks soon?" he continued, including both Harry and Neville in the question.

Harry glanced at Neville before smiling easily. "Yeah," he answered. "Brilliant."

Neville chuckled and nodded. "Of course."

Ron flashed them both a wide grin before grabbing his wand and Levitating several large boxes from the top shelves and floating them toward the door to the main store. "I'll see you soon, then, yeah?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah. We're going to go out the back way, all right?"

Ron nodded. "Suit yourself. You know the way. See you, Neville, Harry." With that, Ron disappeared through the door.

Harry smiled and squeezed Neville's hand again. "Ready to go home?" he asked, leading him through the stockroom.

Harry stepped out the back entrance into the narrow alley, blinking rapidly as his eyes adjusted. Turning to glance back at Neville, he walked straight into Percy's chest.

“What a pleasant surprise,” Percy drawled, after glancing down at Harry and then up at Neville, stepping out of the back room of his brother's shop. “How nice to see the two of you again.”

Neville tensed as he realised who was standing in the alley, and he tightened his hold on Harry's hand. “Why don't we go back out the front, Harry,” he ground out.

Harry nodded and turned back toward Neville. "Alright," he agreed. "Percy," he acknowledged with a curt nod.

“Oh, what's your hurry?” Percy asked, keeping his tone conversational even as he reached out to snatch Harry's free wrist in his hand. “It's been so long since we were able to catch up, Harry. You wouldn't mind giving us a moment alone, would you?” he added, with a sneer in Neville's direction.

Neville's eyes darted to Percy's hand on Harry's wrist and he tensed further, reaching for his wand as he clenched his jaw tightly. He couldn't Apparate them with Percy holding on to Harry like that, and he didn't want to hurt him by yanking him away from the other man. “Which part of ‘leave him alone’ did you _not_ understand?”

Harry began panicking when Percy grabbed at him, right in front of Neville. "Percy, let go of me!" he said in a tight voice.

“You won't even speak to me for a moment?” Percy asked, feigning hurt as he reached his other hand out towards Harry, placing it low against his jaw and then inhaling sharply as a leather collar was revealed beneath a shimmer of magic around Harry's neck. His eyes hardened as he looked to Neville briefly, before focussing on Harry's face.

Neville couldn't move fast enough to keep Percy from touching Harry, and his eyes widened as the glamour around Harry's collar was disturbed. Wincing as he did it, Neville released Harry's hand to grab his forearm, pulling him sharply enough to break Percy's hold on his wrist. “Take this, before I do something I'll regret,” he hissed to Harry, pushing his wand into the other man's hands as he pulled Harry back into the stockroom of the shop, shutting the door firmly in Percy’s face.

Harry stared dumbly at Neville's wand, clutched in his hand, as he was pushed back inside the shop by Neville. He raised his head and looked around wildly, but Ron must still have been out front, because the stockroom was deserted.

Neville swallowed and took a step back from Harry, shaking in anger and focussing on his breathing to try to calm his nerves. “I'm sorry,” he ground out after a moment, refusing to meet Harry's gaze as he was certain he'd hurt the other man, getting him away from Percy.

Harry shook his head. "No, Neville, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten you involved in all of this..." Harry stepped into Neville's arms and nuzzled his neck. "It's my fault... I'm sorry...."

Neville was stunned for a moment as Harry nuzzled his neck and he finally let out a soft sigh of relief, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist. “You've got nothing to be sorry for,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Harry's temple. “But...” Neville bit his lower lip, bringing one of his hands up to hesitantly brush along Harry's forearm. “I didn't hurt you too badly, did I?”

Harry looked down to see a faintly dark spot on his arm, which would be a nasty-looking bruise by nightfall. "No," he replied. "I'm alright. You were just trying to protect me."

“How sweet,” Percy sneered from the doorway between the stockroom and the main shop, his eyes narrowed at Harry and Neville before him. He'd Apparated to the street in front of the shop in hopes of cutting them off, but when they hadn't come out after a moment, he'd gone on instinct and searched them out in the back room, hoping they'd have thought themselves safe enough on the other side of the door.

“Harry,” Neville started, putting himself between Percy and Harry. Having handed over his wand to the other man once they were through the door was both a brilliant idea and a terrible one, now that Percy seemed intent on trying to corner them again. “Take us home...”

Harry had frozen at Percy's voice, unable to turn around to face the redhead. He turned now, looking past Neville with an unseeing stare, as Percy advanced on them. He was shaking, Neville's wand forgotten in his hand. "Percy, _please_ ," he choked out.

“Still incapable of following simple orders, Harry?” Percy said with a smirk when the other man failed to do anything other than tremble. He took a step closer to them and laughed when Neville backed the two of them away from him.

“Harry,” Neville said in a firmer tone. He couldn't trust himself to take his wand back now, afraid that he wouldn't be able to make himself only Apparate them away when he was so angry. “Take. Us. Home," he repeated grasping Harry's non-wand hand and squeezing it tightly.

Harry looked down at their clasped hands as Neville squeezed, then to Percy and back to Neville. "Neville..." he whispered, pressing closer against him, still shaking too badly to even attempt Apparating them away.

“Harry-”

“You may as well give up the song and dance, Longbottom.” Percy turned his eyes toward Neville, his lip curling as he said the other man's name. “Collar on him or not, you don't have what it takes to keep little Harry here in line. _Does he, pet_?”

Harry stopped breathing at Percy's words. "Wha- what?"

Neville guided Harry back another step as Percy advanced on them again with an evil grin. “If anyone should have you in one of those, it's me, Harry... _I_ know how to handle you properly...”

Neville turned toward Harry, trying not to turn his back fully to Percy as he reached up to grasp Harry's jaw and force him to meet his eyes. “Home, _now_.”

Green eyes wide, Harry nodded and held onto Neville firmly as he concentrated, turned on the spot and Apparated them both back to Neville's flat.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	9. Chapter 11 - Part B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
> 

Chapter 11 - Part B

 

Once back at Neville's flat, Harry stared from Neville's wand, to Neville himself, to the flat around them, before holding the wand out toward the other man. "Neville...?"

Neville heaved a sigh of relief as they found themselves in his flat again. “Don't...just...” he said shakily, turning away from his wand as Harry offered it to him. “Just keep it until I calm down, please...” Throwing himself onto one of the cushions of his sofa, Neville propped his elbows against his knees and laid his head in his hands, taking an unsteady breath to try to calm himself down again.

Harry, none too steady himself, laid the wand on the table and knelt in front of Neville, resting his cheek on the other man's knee. "Neville, I'm sorry..."

Neville supported his head with one hand, lowering the other to card his fingers through Harry's hair. “You've nothing to be sorry for, love. It isn't your fault.”

"It's upset you," Harry pointed out quietly. He said nothing about himself, although he was still trembling.

“And it’s upset you worse,” Neville replied just as softly. “Sit with me?”

Harry nodded and stood, moving to sit beside Neville on the sofa. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I - what did he mean about the collar? How could he know about that?"

“You-” Neville hesitated, glancing at Harry before swallowing and shifting his position on the sofa so that he could pull Harry back against his chest. “You didn't realize what happened when he touched you in the alley?”

Harry shook his head, his eyes widening. "He - he saw it?" he asked fearfully. "How...?" he trailed off and tried to replay the encounter in his mind, although most of it was a blur. "When he... grabbed my jaw, he disturbed the glamour, didn’t he?"

Neville nodded, tightening his arms around Harry's waist as he rested his chin on the other man's shoulder. “I'm so sorry, Harry...”

Harry took a couple of slow, calming breaths to fight the panic rising inside him. He twisted around to be able to look at Neville. "What - what do you think he'll do?"

“I don't know,” Neville answered after a moment. “I doubt he'll try to make a story out of it to the _Prophet_ , but...” Trailing off uncertainly, Neville swallowed and pulled Harry closer. “I really don't know, love...”

Harry nodded, laying his head on Neville's shoulder for a long moment to hide the tears that had sprung up in his eyes. "Maybe I - maybe I should go and talk to him. He said he wanted to talk to me."

Neville tensed at Harry's words and managed to shake his head stiffly after a moment. “I don't want you going near him.”

Harry chewed on his lower lip. "But... maybe it would help? I could try..."

“Do you have a bloody death wish, Harry?” Neville snapped. “Do you honestly think he'd just bugger off because you went to talk to him, when you've already told him to leave you be?”

"I... I-" Harry stammered. He tried to squirm out of Neville's arms. "I'm just... the Weasleys are the only family I have... Percy..."

Neville removed his arms from around Harry's waist, pulling away from the other man entirely to stand. “Percy did nothing but abuse you! And now you want to go waltzing up to him, as though he'll just stop bothering you because you tell him to?” Reaching up, Neville ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, struggling to calm his temper before he said something he'd regret.

Harry had cringed away from Neville as he stood, flashing back to Percy. As Neville raised his hands, Harry braced himself for a blow that never came.

“Harry,” Neville said softly after a moment, crouching down beside the sofa and looking at Harry with a pained expression. “Please, for me- for _yourself_ \- don't go see him. I don't know what he's going to do now, but I know this won't be as simple as you want to believe it is...”

Harry reached a hand out to tentatively cup Neville's cheek, stroking across the bone with his thumb. "I didn't think it would be simple, Nev..." he trailed off, his hand dropping into his lap as he looked away.

“Then what? Why would you want to subject yourself to whatever it is he's thinking, when you know what he could do to you? What he _has_ done to you...” Neville reached for Harry's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, watching his face closely.

Harry sighed, knowing Neville was not going to like his explanation. "Because if I give him what he wants, then you're safe."

“ _What_?” Neville growled as he stood again. “You'd walk into his fucking arms to save me from having to deal with him?” Snatching his wand up from the table where Harry had set it, Neville flicked his wrist sharply to remove the glamour from around Harry's collar before flinging his wand onto the floor. “Never mind what having this with you means to me,” he continued, hooking his finger into the ring on the front of Harry's collar, although he didn't tug on it. “Never mind that I'm happier being with you than I've been with anyone else; you'd rather put yourself in harm's way to what? Make things easier? For Merlin's sake, Harry, do you think I give a damn about my own safety, when he could bloody well _kill you_?”

Harry stared at Neville, green eyes wide. He'd shrunk back against the sofa when Neville had stood and pointed the wand at him, and he had been too afraid to even breathe when the taller man hooked his finger through the collar, convinced that he'd finally pushed Neville too far. "I've never been happier than I've been with you, either... but I... I was supposed to die with Voldemort!" Harry protested. "Maybe..."

“Maybe you should throw away the life you have now? And the happiness you've found? When are you going to realize you deserve to be happy _and safe_ like everyone else does?” Biting down on his lower lip, Neville gave a gentle tug on Harry's collar as he looked down in the other man's eyes, blinking back tears as his anger began to edge towards desperation. “When are you going to realize that _I need you_...”

"You do?" Harry's awestruck whisper seemed loud in the silence between them.

“Of course I do...” Neville brought his hands up to cup Harry's face, stroking his thumb across his cheek. “If you went back to him just to protect me, Harry... I'd never be able to live with myself. We can get through this together, love, I promise; just...please, don't put either of us through that.”

Not trusting himself to speak, Harry only nodded, lost in Neville's eyes. His hand came up to cover Neville's, and Harry leaned his cheek into the caress. Holding Neville's gaze, he whispered, "I promise.... I promise, love."

Sitting back on the sofa beside Harry, Neville let out a quiet sigh of relief, pulling Harry closer to press a kiss against his lips. When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead against Harry's and took a few measured breaths until his nerves had calmed. “Thank you.”

Harry's hand came up to stroke through Neville's hair. "Neville?" he asked quietly after a few moments had passed.

Neville shifted, laying his head against Harry's shoulder as the other man's fingers moved through his hair. “Hm?”

"What... what will we do if Percy does go to the _Prophet_?" he asked. "Or what if someone else saw?"

“Tell the lot of them to keep their noses out of other people's business?” Neville suggested dryly before nuzzling Harry's neck. “No one questioned it when we transfigured your collar for Christmas. I imagine we could always try to argue that it was nothing more than a necklace, being blown out of proportion.”

Harry nodded. "All right." He was silent for another few moments, hand stroking through Neville's hair, his other hand clasping one of Neville's. "Neville?"

Neville gave Harry's hand a squeeze. “Yes, love?”

"Could I... take the plug out now?" he asked hesitantly, cheeks flaming.

Neville blinked for a moment in surprise before letting out a soft chuckle, having forgotten about it after all that had happened. Pulling back, he brushed his lips against Harry's forehead before nodding. “Go ahead, Harry. I'm sorry; I should have thought to have you do it sooner.”

Harry chewed his lip. "I - I was so upset by everything that I stopped really noticing it after a while," he admitted quietly. "But sitting here like this ..." Harry leaned in and pressed his lips to Neville's. "I'm sorry our day out was spoilt."

“I wouldn't quite say that...” Neville nudged Harry off the sofa with a faint smile. “It was a great day before all this; and as long as I get to spend my evening with you still, then that's all I need.”

Harry stood and moved towards the loo. "I'm afraid my evening is quite booked up," he said with a mock frown.

“Is it, now?” Neville asked, arching one eyebrow as he watched Harry retreating for the bathroom. “Dare I ask with what?”

Harry shot him a teasing smirk as he disappeared down the hall. "I'm going to be very busy, shagging my boyfriend," he called over his shoulder. "Terribly sorry... Sir."

“Harry Potter, you are a wicked tease,” Neville groaned, leaning back against the arm of the sofa to wait for Harry to come back.

"You love it," Harry called from behind the door.

“One of the many things I love about you, yes,” Neville agreed, turning his head against the arm of the sofa to glance down the hall toward the bathroom door.

After a few moments in the bathroom, Harry called through the door, "Close your eyes, Neville."

Squeezing his eyes closed, Neville chuckled softly. “All right, they're closed.”

Harry slipped out of the loo, naked, after casting a warming charm on himself. Moving out to the lounge, he knelt in front of where Neville was sitting on the sofa, automatically assuming his "kneel" position. "All right," he whispered.

Neville peeked his eyes open and then immediately closed them again as he groaned. “How do you always know exactly what to do to get to me?” he asked, rolling onto his side on the sofa with a smile and reaching out to caress Harry's cheek. Looking Harry over slowly, he added, “I will _never_ get tired of seeing you like this...”

Harry blushed. "I was going to give you the leash, but then I remembered you're still wearing it," he admitted sheepishly.

“If you'd like to fetch my wand from wherever it’s ended up, we can fix that,” Neville said, smiling back at Harry.

Harry looked about without breaking position and finally spotted it on the other side of the table. Rather than standing to go pick it up, Harry crawled to it instead, picking up the wand and placing it across his mouth, holding it gently with his lips, as he crawled back to Neville, resuming "kneel" as he took the wand out of his mouth and cradled it in his hands.

Neville's eyes widened as he watched Harry crawl to retrieve his wand, finding it difficult to keep his eyes off the other man's arse as he moved. He dashed his tongue across his lips when Harry returned to kneel in front of the sofa again. “Good boy,” he murmured as he reached for his wand, transfiguring the band of leather around his wrist back into its natural state.

Harry blushed, but grinned at Neville, glad he could have such an effect on the other man. Latching the leash onto the ring of Harry's collar, Neville handed his wand to the other man for him to place on the table for him. Propping his head up on one arm, he glanced down at the handle of the leash in his other hand, turning his eyes to Harry's face as he gave it a gentle tug.

Harry turned, breaking position briefly to reach out and place the wand on the table. As he did so, he felt the leash tighten and then tug. His eyes fluttered closed as he moaned. "Neville..."

“Yes, Harry?” One corner of Neville's mouth twitched in amusement as he gave the leash another tug. “Something the matter?”

Harry groaned. "No, Sir... not a thing..." he breathed.

Neville shifted, leaning in toward Harry until his lips were beside the other man's ear. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he asked before gently nipping at Harry's ear.

Harry tilted his head towards Neville and shivered. Shifting position himself, since he hadn't actually been told to kneel, he reached out and teased the bulge in Neville's trousers, kneading it gently. "I... might have some idea..." Harry smirked.

Neville rolled his hips to grind against Harry's hand with a low moan. “It's not nice to tease me so much, love,” Neville murmured in his ear. “Maybe I should even the score a bit, hmm?”

Harry whimpered as he leaned in and nuzzled Neville's neck. "But you like it when I tease you..." he murmured into Neville's ear.

“True,” Neville agreed shakily. “But-” Neville gave the leash another tug with a smile. “I still think you should go fetch me the clamps from our toy drawer... The same way you did my wand.”

Harry whimpered again, but nodded. Turning slowly, he dropped to all fours and crawled to the bedroom. Kneeling up, he rummaged in the drawer until he found the clamps. Placing the connecting chain in his mouth, he crawled back to Neville. Once there, he resumed the "kneel" position as he had before, with the clamps held loosely in one hand.

Neville watched Harry crawl away, his eyes locked on the other man's arse until he disappeared into the bedroom. Sitting up properly, Neville waited for his return, drinking in the way he moved as he crawled back toward the sofa. “Thank you, love,” Neville said as he reached down to take the clamps from Harry once he knelt again. “Up, Harry; display.”

Harry stood fluidly, moving the leash so that it hung straight down the center of his torso before fully assuming the position.

“Good boy,” Neville approved, leaning up to brush his lips against one of Harry's nipples before scraping his teeth over it and attaching one of the clamps. Carefully looping the connecting chain beneath the leash, he repeated the action on the other side before sitting back against the sofa and admiring Harry for a moment.

Harry shivered as Neville's teeth scraped over his nipple. He winced as the clamps were attached, but several slow, deep breaths allowed him to ignore the discomfort.

“Come here,” Neville said finally, reaching for the handle of Harry's leash and pulling it as he spoke.

Harry shivered again and obeyed after only a few seconds' hesitation, moving to stand in between Neville's splayed knees. "Yes, Sir," he answered.

Neville hmm'd softly, leaning in to brush his lips against Harry's stomach, moving downward to the trail of hair that began beneath his navel. “When I said 'come here', I meant for you to climb into my lap,” he said, glancing up along Harry's body. “So let's try that again. Come here.” Neville reached up to hook one finger around the connecting chain of the clamps Harry wore, giving it a light tug to emphasize his order.

Harry gasped and whimpered, climbing quickly into Neville’s lap and laying his head on the other man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Sir…” he breathed, as he snuggled against Neville’s chest.

“It's all right,” Neville murmured, nuzzling Harry's neck. Wrapping his arms around his waist, Neville kissed slowly down along Harry's neck, lingering for a moment at his collar before moving on to nip at his shoulder.

Harry shivered as Neville continued to kiss and nip at his neck and jaw. One of Harry’s hands threaded through Neville’s hair, the other stroking down his chest. “You’re always wearing too many clothes,” Harry murmured.

Neville chuckled as he pulled back, watching Harry's hand moving down his chest. “You're free to correct that, if you want,” he said with a smile, glancing at Harry's face as he gave both the chain to the clamps and Harry's leash a light tug at once.

Harry gasped and arched into the tug, trying to alleviate some of the pressure on his nipples. He adopted a mock pout, squirming on Neville’s lap, his cock straining as he ground his hips down against Neville’s growing erection. Neville's eyes fluttered close for a moment with a soft moan, uncurling his finger from around the clamps chain to tighten his hold on Harry's leash.

Harry nuzzled Neville’s neck, nipping at his earlobe as he whispered, “Want you.”

“Mm, you have me,” Neville answered. A small tremor passed through him as Harry's breath teased his ear and his arms tightened around the other man's waist.

“Not enough,” Harry continued pouting, his hand moving up to caress Neville’s cheek. “Want more.”

Neville wound his hand up in Harry's leash before using it to pull Harry in for a kiss. “I'm afraid you'll need to be more specific," Neville teased.

Harry’s cheeks tinted pink, but he answered, “I want you to fuck me. I want you to show me I belong to you.” He was silent for a moment before adding in a near-inaudible whisper, “ _Only you_.”

Neville tightened his arm possessively around Harry's waist, stroking his thumb over the handle of the leash for a moment. “Harry...”

Harry leaned in and kissed him deeply, his tongue teasing Neville’s as he squirmed in his lap. Pulling away, he rested his forehead against Neville’s cheek. “Please, Sir…” he whispered. “I want you to make me yours… completely yours.”

“You are mine, but-” Neville hesitated, turning his face in toward Harry's neck. “You don't know what you're asking for right now, Harry.”

"Tell me. Tell me what you think I'm asking for," Harry pleaded.

“If you want me to fuck you, Harry, I'll take you the way I always do and enjoy every moment of it. But when you ask me to show you that you belong to me?” Neville kept his face buried against Harry's neck, unable to meet the other man's eyes. “All I can think of is taking you into the bedroom and fucking you until you're screaming my name... You know I would never hurt you, Harry, but after this afternoon- when you tell me that? It makes me feel very possessive...”

Harry let out a soft whimper at Neville’s words, his breath hitching . “Neville…” he began, waiting until the other man finally lifted his head and met his gaze. “ _Sir_ … I want that too. I want it… and not just because of what happened this afternoon.”

“Why, then?” Neville asked, shifting his arm around Harry's waist down to grab his arse roughly.

"Because I _want_ to be yours!" Harry told him. "I want this. I want you."

“You already are mine.” Neville gave Harry's leash a firm tug, pulling his head down until he could press their lips together. “If that's what you really want, though,” he said breathlessly, after breaking away from the kiss, “then I want you to get on your hands and knees. I haven't gotten to take you for a walk on this yet.” Neville tugged the leash again for emphasis.

Blushing furiously, Harry slipped from Neville’s lap and got on all fours beside the sofa. The position put increased pressure on his nipples as the clamps and chain dangled down from his chest and he let out a low moan.

“Good boy.” Neville rose to his feet, his eyes raking over Harry's body for a moment. “All right, love, come on,” he said, twitching the leash as he took a few steps forward, glancing down at Harry to be sure he was following.

Harry obediently followed after Neville, his breath hitching and a shiver running through him at this new game. The weight of the chain tugged on the clamps with every movement, making his rock-hard cock leak fluid across his stomach as it swayed between his legs as he crawled.

Caught up in the sight Harry made crawling around like that, Neville circled them around the room before finally leading him down the hallway toward the bedroom. “Do you like this, Harry?” Neville asked, stopping just inside the door of the bedroom, pulling up on Harry's leash to signal him to lift his head.

Harry craned his neck to glance at Neville, his eyes dark with desire. He drew a ragged breath and nodded. “Yes, Neville.”

The corner of Neville's mouth twitched as he crouched down in front of Harry, grasping his chin gently with one hand. “What was that?”

Harry looked at him, his lust-fueled gaze flickering with confusion. "Yes?"

“I caught that bit, love,” Neville chuckled, leaning in to brush his lips against Harry's jaw. “What I didn't quite catch was what you called me.”

"Ohh," Harry breathed. His gaze darkened ever further, his pupils dilating so that only a sliver of green was visible. "Yes... Sir," he whispered.

“Much better,” Neville murmured approvingly. Sliding his hand down over Harry's neck, Neville traced his collar before unsnapping the leash and straightening. “I'd rather not have this get in our way,” he explained before Harry could think he'd done something wrong. Folding the leash loosely, Neville set it aside on top of his dresser before focusing on Harry again. “Climb up on the bed, and don't stand unless you have to.”

Harry chewed on his lower lip for a moment as he considered the bed. Slowly, he crawled over to it and knelt up to put his forearms on the mattress. He edged forwards on his arms, wincing at the pain from the clamps being pressed between his torso and the bed, until he had to push off with one foot and straighten that leg enough to be able to get his other knee onto the bed, crawling forward until all four limbs were firmly on the mattress.

“Such a good boy,” Neville said as he watched Harry settle onto the bed. He tugged off his shirt as he moved closer, opening and stepping out of his trousers once he reached the foot of the bed. He nudged Harry onto his back before climbing onto the mattress and laying out beside him.

Harry whimpered as he dropped onto his side and rolled onto his back gingerly, to avoid jostling the clamps too much. He bit his bottom lip to stifle a sharp cry as the chain dragged across his torso, arching his back as though that would relieve some of the pain. He turned a pleading gaze to Neville as he reached up for him.

“Do you want me to take them off, love?” Neville asked, bringing his hand up to trace the chain on the clamps.

Harry closed his eyes and took a steadying breath. “Only… only if you want to,” he murmured. “I want to please you…”

Smiling, Neville shifted to straddle one of Harry's legs as he removed one of the clamps and then the other, dropping them over the side of the bed and onto the floor. He dipped his head to brush his lips against Harry's nipple, letting his tongue circle it before repeating the action on the other.

Harry cried out as the clamps were removed and the blood rushed back into his nipples, fiery pain shooting from his chest straight to his groin, his toes curling as his body tensed and trembled. He tugged Neville up for a kiss, parting his lips and offering his mouth with a quiet whimper. Neville let out a groan as he pressed his lips firmly to Harry's, tucking one hand behind his head to tangle in his hair as he slipped his tongue into the other man's mouth. His other hand trailed down Harry's chest and stomach, curling around the base of his erection and squeezing.

Harry moaned in approval as he sucked on Neville’s tongue, tilting his head to get fractionally closer as he wrapped his arms around the other man’s neck, toying with his hair. When Neville’s hand wrapped around him, he bucked his hips, silently pleading for more contact. Squeezing again, Neville stroked his hand along the length of Harry's shaft. His hand in Harry's hair tightened as he tried to press himself closer to the other man.

“Oh, fuck…” Harry breathed as he tried to push up into Neville’s hand. “Please…”

“Please what?” Neville's voice was rough as he tilted his head, brushing his lips along Harry's jaw and towards his neck. “Tell me what you need, Harry.”

“Please… do something… anything,” Harry begged. “Anything you want, please… just… make me yours.” His tongue darted out to lick his lips. “You promised to fuck me until I screamed your name…” he breathed, teasing the hair at the base of Neville’s skull. “Tell me what you want to do to me, Neville… don’t hold back anymore. Show me what you need…”

Neville groaned, burying his face against Harry's neck as he released his hold on the other man's cock. “There's very little I _don't_ want to do to you, Harry,” Neville answered breathlessly, pausing long enough to mutter a lubrication charm as his fingers probed Harry's entrance. “And I have every intention of fucking you, but you know how I am. I love to make you beg for it first.”

Harry let out a soft moan as Neville’s fingers pushed inside him, squirming and biting his lower lip. He looked at Neville with half-lidded eyes. “I’ll do anything you want me to, Neville… anything at all.”

Curling his fingers, Neville brushed them against Harry's prostate teasingly. “Then, right now,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss Harry's jaw, “I want you to beg me to fuck you. Let me hear how much you want it.”

Harry’s body jerked as Neville’s fingers came in contact with his prostate. Moaning, he squirmed and bucked his hips. “Please, Sir… please… fuck me. I need you inside me; please….”

“That's a start,” Neville teased, pushing against Harry's prostate again. “But I think you can do better.”

Harry whimpered and squirmed. “Fuck, Neville, I don’t… I…” he trailed off and looked up at Neville desperately. Propping himself on an elbow, he reached out to tug him in for a long kiss. Pulling back, he whispered, “I need to feel your cock inside me, please. Need you to make me yours. Fuck me ‘til I scream your name. Please…”

Neville dropped his head against Harry's shoulder with a groan, savouring his words for a moment before withdrawing his fingers. “You're so bloody perfect, Harry,” he whispered against the other man's neck as he shifted to position himself between Harry's legs. Grasping the base of his cock, he rubbed the head against Harry's entrance teasingly.

Harry lifted his hips in invitation, a soft moan escaping him as he let his legs fall open wider, to allow Neville better access. “Please,” he whispered. “Please, _Sir_ …”

Neville rolled his hips forward slowly, leaning down to claim Harry's lips with his own as he slipped inside him. " _Fuck_ , Harry..."

Harry whined into the kiss as Neville pushed in steadily, not stopping until he was buried completely inside Harry’s arse. “Oh, gods… Neville…” Harry breathed as his body adjusted. “Feels so good…”

Smirking, Neville hooked his arm under one of Harry's legs, guiding it onto his shoulder to give himself a better angle. “Tell me again what you want,” he ordered, emphasizing the order with a shallow thrust of his hips.

Harry let out a soft keening noise, as his hands fisted in the duvet. “I… want you… to fuck me… until I scream your… name…” he groaned.

Neville dropped his head against Harry's shoulder with a low moan, drawing his hips back and thrusting into Harry sharply a few times, testing the other man's reaction.

Harry’s eyes widened, his body tensing, even as he keened louder. “Ohh… _fuck_ , yes… like that… please…”

Neville muttered something unintelligible under his breath before brushing his lips against Harry's neck, nipping at a spot just above his collar and sucking, hoping to leave a mark. His hand curled around Harry's leg as he thrust into him, angling his hips upward every now and again to hit Harry's prostate.

Harry was mewling and keening with every thrust, hands fisting in the duvet, knowing Neville wouldn’t want him to touch himself. He tilted his neck, allowing Neville better access, wanting to be marked and fucked and _possessed_ the same way Neville seemed to want it. “Please… Neville… Sir… please… gods…”

“That's it, Harry,” Neville breathed when he pulled back from Harry's neck. "Keep begging." He examined the small red mark he'd left for a moment before leaning in to leave another beside it, increasing the pace of his thrusts and angling up into Harry's prostate more often.

"Please... don't... stop," Harry begged. His breathing grew more ragged as Neville's thrusts sped up, battering his prostate. His toes curled. "Please... Neville... need to...."

Neville chuckled against Harry's neck. “Touch yourself for me,” he ordered, his lips beside Harry's ear. “But you can't come without my permission, love.” His mouth pulled up into a smirk as he adjusted Harry's leg on his shoulder and snapped his hips sharply.

Harry cried out and bucked his hips up against Neville. His hand released its grip on the duvet and moved down to his cock, teasing lightly. He wanted to obey Neville, but he was desperately close to the edge and afraid any firmer touch would drive him over the edge.

Neville eyes followed the movement of Harry's hand for a moment before he pressed his face against the other man's neck, breathing heavily. Hooking one finger in the ring of Harry's collar, Neville gave it a firm tug. “Whose are you, Harry?”

“Yours, Neville,” Harry breathed. “Yours…” he paused and then mumbled something unintelligible as he clung to Neville.

“What was that?” Neville prodded, tugging on Harry's collar again. “Didn't catch that last bit.”

Harry's cheeks tinted as he lowered his eyes. "I said... yours, forever." His teeth chewed nervously on his bottom lip.

Neville's breath hitched in surprise before he nuzzled Harry's neck. “Forever,” he agreed softly, “All mine...”

Harry reached up and cradled Neville's face with both hands, urging him in for a kiss. "Please... please..." he begged in between kisses.

Neville increased his pace a bit more, beginning to lose the rhythm to his thrusts and clenching his fingers around a handful of the duvet. “Come for me, Harry,” he groaned after a moment, as he felt himself nearing the edge. “Scream for me...”

Harry brought his hand back down to his own cock, fisting it roughly as Neville thrust into him. “Please… fuck… Neville…” he breathed, before he tumbled over the edge and came with a violent shudder. “ _Neville_!”

Neville gave a few final thrusts into Harry until the sound of his name like that on the other man's lips pushed him over the edge. He gave Harry's collar a tug as he tensed, his other hand grasping desperately at the duvet beneath them. “ _My Harry_!”

Harry lay panting beneath Neville as they both came down from their orgasms. As Neville collapsed against him, Harry slid his leg down Neville’s side to wrap around his waist, his arms coming up to stroke through his hair. “Yours,” he whispered.

Neville smiled as Harry's hands moved through his hair. “Love you,” he murmured contently. He nuzzled his head against Harry's shoulder, his breathing still heavy.

“I… love you… too,” Harry breathed, still soothing Neville, bending his head to press a kiss to his forehead. “So much, Neville.”

“Need you to let me move,” Neville said, nuzzling Harry's shoulder and wiggling his hips to try pulling away from him. “Too hard to cuddle you properly like this.”

Harry tightened his hold on Neville for a moment. “No.”

Neville blinked in surprise for a moment before chuckling, settling himself back down against Harry. “Cheeky brat,” Neville murmured in an affectionate tone.

Harry grinned and kissed Neville's forehead again. "I want to know something before I let you up..." he began teasingly.

“Who says I'll answer, when being held like this by you is so comfortable?” Neville teased back, snuggling himself against Harry for emphasis. Tilting his head up, he kissed Harry's cheek and smiled. “What do you want to know?”

Harry smiled. "You can stay there forever, if you like," he promised. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to the top of Neville's head before pulling back and resting his chin against the same spot. "I... you said something... before... into my neck... and I couldn't hear you," he said softly. "What did you say?"

Neville blushed. “I- uhm...” Tucking his face against Harry's neck again, Neville mumbled, “I might have called you a needy-” He paused for a moment, taking a breath and squeezing his eyes closed and waiting for Harry to push him away as he finished, barely above a whisper, “Slut...”

Harry’s body tensed at Neville’s confession, but not in the way Neville feared. Harry’s cock twitched feebly from its position trapped between them as his breath hitched. “Ohh…” he whispered, his arms tightening around Neville.

Neville tilted his head back to look up at Harry's face. “You like that?”

Harry blushed deeply as he nodded. “It would appear so,” he admitted.

Neville shifted in Harry's arms, bringing his lips near his ear and whispering, “You want to be my slut, Harry?”

Harry's breath hitched again and he nodded. "I... think.... maybe I do... Sir..." he whispered.

“Gods, I love you,” Neville murmured, pulling back enough to press his lips to Harry's firmly.

Harry returned the kiss eagerly, his hands moving back through Neville’s hair and stroking down his back. “I love you too, Neville… so much.”

“Did you mean it?” Neville asked, nuzzling Harry's neck again. “When you said forever, I mean...”

Harry nodded. "I... yeah. I did, Neville," he admitted. "I know it might be too soon, but... forever sounds pretty good to me."

Grinning, Neville wrapped his arms around Harry and rolled them onto their sides. “Not too soon,” he said, looking into Harry's eyes. “Forever sounds good to me, too.”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	10. Chapter 12 & 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
> 

Chapter 12

 

_Harry -_

_I apologise if I ruined a rather pleasant afternoon for you the other day, but seeing as you were dragged away from me before I had the opportunity to say too much, well..._

_I'd really like the chance to talk with you, just for a few moments, at least._

_Meet with me before you leave tonight?_

_-P_

 

 

Harry stared down at Percy's note, which had just arrived via inter-office mail. It was calm, courteous, reasonably polite... for a brief moment, he was tempted. But, in his heart, he knew that Neville was right. Meeting with Percy, alone, was asking for trouble. Harry'd lived it. Opening that particular can of worms was _not_ a good idea.

Taking up his quill, he scrawled a reply to Percy and tapped the sheet with his wand, folding it into a crisp plane and sending it soaring up to the Department of International Magical Cooperation.

 

 

_Percy,_

_I'm sorry, but I don't think that's a good idea._

_-H_

 

 

It was several moments before another note from Percy flew into Harry's office, landing innocently on his desk.

 

 

_It's not a good idea to even speak to me?_

_I'm not asking you to run off somewhere with me, Harry; all I want is to see you and be able to talk without worrying you'll be pulled away again before I have a chance to say anything._

_Just give me five minutes. Please?_

 

 

Harry chewed his lower lip as he re-read Percy’s note. He waffled for a moment, but then picked up his quill with a sigh.

 

 

_Percy,_

_No! I don’t think it’s a good idea, given your recent behavior, and neither does Neville. I promised him that I wouldn’t be alone with you._

_-H_

 

 

Percy started several replies to Harry's note before ultimately tossing the lot of them into the rubbish bin with a scowl. He glanced at the clock behind his desk to check the time before an idea struck him and he reached for his quill again.

 

 

_I see..._

_I won't ask you to come to me again, then._

 

 

Percy tapped the note with his wand, sending it to Harry's office as he stood. Hopefully, Harry would take his words to mean he wouldn't bother him further, and the other man wouldn't feel a need to try slipping out a little early. Checking the clock once more, Percy smirked as he strode confidently out of his office. No harm in cutting out twenty minutes early, if it meant he could catch Harry before he left.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Harry breathed a sigh of relief as he scanned the parchment. When a third note had arrived from Percy, his stomach had dropped into his shoes, but it appeared the man had finally gotten the hint. Feeling a twinge of regret over their relationship, and the strain its failure had put on his friendship with the Weasleys, he crumpled the note and threw it into the bin with a heavy sigh. Glancing at the clock, he sat up and bent over the case file on his desk, anxious to finish up and head home for his ‘date night’ with Neville.

Percy hovered outside of Harry's office in the DMLE for several minutes, nodding occasionally when people passed him as they left. He checked the time again once most of the department had already left, and then knocked on Harry's door. There were still too many others around for him to risk cornering Harry out in the open, and he wasn't about to wait another day to try again.

Harry stifled a groan when the knock sounded at the door. He'd just sent the last of his casework soaring off to be filed and had been about to put on his outer robes and head for home.

"Come in," he called, hoping whoever it was would be quick.

“Hello, Harry,” Percy greeted as he stepped into Harry's office and closed the door securely behind him. He pressed his back against the door and folded his arms over his chest as he locked eyes with the other man. “I hope you aren't in a hurry, since it seems this is the only way I'll be able to talk to you.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “P-Percy!” he stammered. “What are you doing here? I told you that I didn’t want to see you!”

“You told me you promised Neville that you wouldn't be alone with me, Harry; but never did you outright say you didn't want to see me.” Pushing away from the door, Percy took a few steps closer to Harry, careful to keep his face and voice calm for the moment. “And, in all fairness, since I've come to you, you're safe from repercussions for breaking that promise, aren't you?”

Harry backed up, slowly reaching for his wand, which was sitting on the desk. “Percy, I said I didn’t think this was a good idea, and I _don’t_ want to see you right now. Please leave,” he said, calmly and evenly.

Percy's eyes darted to Harry's wand and he smirked as he held up his hands to remind Harry that he wasn't holding his own. “You always assume the worst in me, yet you're the one reaching for your wand, when mine isn't even drawn. Seems a little strange, doesn't it?” he asked as he took another step forward, edging his way around Harry's desk.

Harry cautiously countered Percy’s movements, trying to keep the desk between them. “Given our history, Percy, I’m sure my actions are understandable.” Harry grasped his wand firmly, but held it at his side, rather than pointing it at the redhead. He swallowed heavily, trying to tamp down the panic that was threatening to boil over as he rounded the desk and backed toward the door.

“I'd almost agree with you, except...” Percy trailed off for a moment, allowing his eyes to travel down to Harry's neck. His gaze lingered pointedly on the spot where he'd seen the collar before he met Harry's eyes again. “It seems that you're not as opposed to that sort of...treatment as you want me to believe.”

Harry’s breath hitched and he froze. “You… you don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said finally. "Please, Percy... just leave us alone. Leave _me_ alone."

“I know _exactly_ what I'm talking about,” Percy challenged, his eyes narrowing as he dropped his arms, clenching his fists at his sides. “I left you alone for a long time after you put an end to things, because I thought you just didn't want what I could give you. And now?” Percy snarled as he took several quick strides toward Harry, reaching to grasp his wand arm firmly. “Now, I find you giving everything I wanted from you to Neville _fucking_ Longbottom? Do you think he's better than me, Harry? That he deserves it more than I do?”

“Let g- go of me!” Harry demanded, jerking backward away from Percy. “I _mean_ it, Percy, back off! What's between Neville and I is none of your business!”

“I'll be damned if I'm going to just stand by while you play the part of his fucking whore,” Percy snapped, taking a threatening step closer to Harry. His hand reached into the pocket of his robes for his wand as he advanced on the other man. “I'm the only one who can give you what you really need, Harry; sooner or later, you're going to have to see that.”

Harry brought his wand up and pointed it straight at Percy’s chest. “Don’t. Just… don’t,” he told the redhead.

Percy froze, looking from Harry's face to the wand aimed at him and back again for a moment, his eyes narrowing to slits in his anger. “There was a time you'd never have dreamed of pointing that at me... If this is how you want to play things, then so be it.” He held his hands up again, leaving his wand undrawn in his robes as he took a step back from Harry. “You know as well as I do the amount of attention that you require, Harry. Do you really think he'll put up with you as patiently as I did?” The corner of his mouth twitched before Percy turned on his heel and moved toward the door, slamming it closed behind him as he left.

For a long time after, Harry stood trembling in his office, staring through his tears at the closed door.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

****

Chapter 13

 

Neville glanced down at Harry snuggled against his chest and smiled. Dipping his head, he nuzzled the other man's neck to draw his attention away from his book. “As much as I hate to interrupt your reading, I need you to let me up for a bit, all right?”

Harry nodded and shifted to the other side of the sofa, tilting his face up for a kiss as he moved.

Neville leaned in to kiss Harry before standing and walking toward the hall into the bedroom. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure Harry stayed put on the sofa before crouching down in front of his nightstand to rummage through the lower drawer. Once he found what he was looking for, he straightened, nudging the drawer closed with his foot as he set about laying out several lengths of rope on the bed. “Harry?” he called out once he'd finished, taking a seat nervously on the edge of the bed and trailing his fingers over one length of rope. “Could you come in here for a moment?”

Harry marked his place and set his book aside before heading for the bedroom with a small smile. In the doorway, he hesitated as he looked over the ropes displayed on the bed. "Neville?"

Pulling his hand away from the rope he'd been touching, Neville reached out for Harry, beckoning him closer. “Come here, love.”

Harry went to Neville, his eyes still flicking to the ropes on the bed.

“This makes you nervous, doesn't it?” Neville asked gently, taking Harry's hands and pulling him closer, shifting his legs apart for Harry to stand between them.

Harry chewed his lower lip. "A little," he confessed. "There's... there's no quick escape button like on the cuffs..." He inched closer to Neville, hands on his shoulders.

“Actually,” Neville started as he reached for one of the ropes, “these do have that. It’s just not as obvious, looking at them.” Holding the rope loosely in his hands, Neville looked up again to meet Harry's eyes. “Will you let me see your wrists, and I'll show you?”

Harry looked into Neville's eyes and nodded, holding his wrists out in front of him, crossed.

Neville smiled, reaching up to uncross Harry's wrists before folding the rope in his hands in half. Draping it around both of Harry's wrists, Neville passed the open end of the rope through the loop created from the fold, before winding it around his wrists again in the opposite direction. He wrapped the tail of the rope around itself in the open space between Harry's wrists to tighten it into a cuff, before securing with a knot. “Now,” he said, taking Harry's hands and returning his attention to the other man's face. “Say your safeword.”

Harry looked at Neville curiously. "What?"

“Just trust me, Harry,” he encouraged, giving Harry's hands a squeeze.

After a moment, Harry whispered, "Voldemort."

Neville glanced down, watching the knot immediately loosen before the rope pulled away from Harry's skin, unravelling itself from around his wrists. When it landed on the floor at Harry's feet less than a minute later, Neville smiled and turned his eyes back to Harry.

Harry had watched, wide-eyed, as the rope unravelled itself, following its descent to the floor before looking back at Neville in confusion.

Neville chuckled, reaching down to retrieve the rope. “Enchanted ropes, love. Keyed specifically to your safeword, and unable to be altered for another one. So, unfortunately, if you ever decide you want to use a different one, we'll have to buy a brand new set.” Offering the rope to Harry as he straightened, Neville gestured at the other lengths on the bed. “It’s in shorter lengths as much for faster unravelling time as for versatility with what we can use them for.”

Harry looked over the ropes in wonder. "They - they all do that?"

Neville nodded, smiling at Harry's expression. “Every last one; I'll let you test them all, if you want.”

Harry shook his head, looking back at Neville. "I trust you, Neville."

His smile widening, Neville leaned up to kiss Harry. “Would you feel comfortable letting me use them on you? I won't be upset if you don't want to,” he added, squeezing Harry's hands again.

Harry nodded slowly. "If you want to, Neville..." he said.

“I do want to, but I want you to have a say as well. Especially since I don't intend to only tie you up with them. There's a bit of a design I've thought about trying on you, and it would require a good portion of this,” Neville said, gesturing at the ropes laid out on the bed. “Even with how easily you can get out of them if you get uncomfortable, I'd rather you be sure before I start, love.”

Harry looked back at the ropes curiously. "What...what sort of design?"

“It's somewhat of a corset,” Neville answered. “I wouldn't be pulling it tight enough to really function as one, but it would have the look. And, as long as you weren't opposed,” he added, letting his gaze wander down to Harry's groin. “It can be extended a bit lower.”

Harry's eyes followed Neville's gaze and he blushed. "All... all right, Ne- Sir."

“Good boy,” Neville said, guiding Harry back a step so that he could stand, before pulling the other man close. Leaning down, Neville pressed his lips to Harry's for a moment, pulling back a moment later and smiling at him. “Stand still unless I tell you to move, understood? It'll be faster if I move around you, rather than the other way around.”

Harry nodded, slightly breathless. "Yes, Sir..."

Placing the length of rope he'd used on Harry's wrists onto the bed, Neville picked up a longer length before circling around behind Harry. Folding the length in half as he'd done earlier, he aligned the looped end with the centre of Harry's back, a few inches beneath his shoulder blades, before beginning to wrap it around Harry's chest in the same back and forth pattern he'd used to bind his wrists. Once he'd framed the other man's chest with two rows of the folded rope above and below, he paused, holding the rope firmly to keep it from shifting as he stepped to Harry's side to check that nothing had overlapped. “That isn't too tight, is it?”

"No... it's fine," Harry said with a faint shake of his head.

Nodding, Neville moved back behind Harry, making a small knot before running the rope up Harry's back to drape over his shoulder. Adjusting it carefully to keep it from getting pinched beneath Harry's collar, Neville looped the rope beneath the bottom row that crossed Harry's chest, pulling it back around the other side of his neck to form a 'v'. He fastened the length of rope off with another knot, after checking that there was enough slack to keep it from being uncomfortable. As he came around to grab another length of rope from the bed, he paused to lift Harry's chin. “It looks good on you already.”

Harry blushed, lowering his eyes awkwardly. "Thank you, Sir," he whispered.

Neville wrapped one arm around Harry's waist, dipping his head to kiss Harry firmly. “Are you being so timid because this is new, or for some other reason?” he asked as he pulled away.

Harry chewed on his lower lip again. "Because it's new.... and you know I'm not good with being ... on display? It's embarrassing."

“I think it's rather sexy, actually,” Neville told him with a smile. “You have no reason to be embarrassed, Harry; you look fantastic.” Leaning in to nuzzle Harry's neck, Neville held him tightly for a moment. “If it’s making you uncomfortable, we can stop here and try more another time.”

Harry's breath caught as Neville held him close. "No... I want to keep going."

Neville smiled against Harry's neck, pulling back with reluctance. Placing a brief kiss against his lips, Neville returned his attention to the rope work. Folding the new length in half, he looped it around the front of the previous design, securing it around the bottom row of ropes that framed Harry's chest and wrapping it carefully around behind him. When he pulled the rope back around to the front, he looped it through the beginning of the row and turned it to wind back the other way, continuing the pattern.. Fastening a knot at the end of the rope he’d been working on, Neville held it in place against Harry's body with one hand while reaching for a new length of rope with the other, securing it to the previous piece before continuing the design slowly downward. Harry shivered under Neville's touch, but remained still and silent.

Once he reached Harry's hips, Neville paused, looking up at the other man from his position crouched down in front of him. “The next step of this is up to you, Harry. I can fasten the rope off here, or I can run it lower and make a cock ring. It wouldn't be tight enough to really function as one, but you'll still feel it.”

Harry blushed as his breath hitched again. "Please... whatever you want, Sir..."

Neville chuckled, shifting so that he could watch the rope's position as he passed it between Harry's legs to one side of his groin. Looping the rope through the lowest row of the corset, he ran it back down between Harry's legs on the opposite side, securing it the same way in the front. Wrapping the tail ends of the rope carefully over the lengths running between Harry's legs, Neville worked through the extra length quickly, stopping once he could only fit two fingers between the base of Harry's cock and the rope. Tucking the last few inches of length into the previous work, Neville sat back on his heels to examine his work. “Move around a bit, love, and tell me if anything's uncomfortable.”

Harry squirmed, then shifted from one foot to the other, rocking slightly. "I think it's all right..."

“That's good,” Neville said as he pushed himself up to his feet again. Wrapping one arm around Harry's waist again, Neville pulled him closer as he brought the other up to cup Harry's cheek. “Feeling a little more comfortable, now that I'm done?”

"A little..." Harry replied, as he tilted his head to kiss Neville deeply.

“How can I make you more comfortable?” Neville asked when he broke away from Harry's lips, tilting his head to kiss along his jaw.

"That's a... good start..." Harry gasped.

Chuckling, Neville moved his hand from Harry's cheek, reaching for one of his hands. “And what about showing you how much I like seeing you like this?” he murmured as he moved Harry's hand between them, placing it against the bulge in his trousers. Kissing his way toward Harry's neck, he added, “You look so good, Harry...”

Harry's hand tentatively kneaded the bulge in Neville's trousers, even as he tilted his head to allow the other man better access to his neck.

Pulling back, Neville brushed his lips against Harry's before guiding him over to the bed again, tugging him into his lap as he sat down. “I'd thought about teasing you for a while,” Neville told him, as he curled his arms around Harry's waist. “But I'd like you to tell me what you want right now, love.” Neville leaned in to nuzzle Harry's neck with a small smile. “You always tell me to do what _I_ want, and seem to forget, this isn't only about what I want to do.”

“I don’t, it’s just that… I enjoy everything we do together. And you’re so much more experienced… I want you to be happy.”

“I'm always happy with you,” Neville whispered, resting his head against Harry's shoulder.

Harry laid his cheek against Neville's head. "Truly?"

Neville tightened his arms around Harry. “Of course I am, love. You've caught me watching you and smiling enough to know that.”

Harry smiled, though Neville couldn't see it. "I'm glad of it."

Nuzzling Harry's neck again, Neville leaned back onto the bed, pulling Harry with him. Bringing his hands up from Harry's waist, he placed them on either side of Harry's face to pull him in for a kiss.

Harry whimpered into the kiss, his hands going around Neville's neck. Pulling back, he whispered, "I love you."

Neville grinned, stroking his thumb across Harry's cheek. “I love you too.”

Harry nuzzled his hand. "Please, Neville... let me be yours..."

Neville gave a small nod, leaning up to brush his lips to Harry's briefly. “Lay back on the bed for me.”

Harry shivered, sliding off of Neville and laying back against the pillows.

Neville pulled off his shirt while Harry moved, leaving his trousers on for the moment as he straddled Harry's waist. “Such a good boy,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss Harry's neck.

Harry ran his hands along Neville's upper arms, dragging his fingernails lightly along the skin.

Neville let out a soft hum of approval as he nipped at Harry's neck, working his way down toward his shoulder. Running his hand along the ropes that covered Harry's side, he brushed his fingers against the bare flesh of Harry's hip, slowly moving his hand inward toward the other man's thigh.

Harry's legs fell open as he arched into Neville's touch, wincing as the ropes tugged at his skin. Neville smiled as Harry's legs opened, trailing his fingers teasingly along Harry's inner thigh. Harry let out a needy whimper and bucked his hips.

Neville pulled his hand away to nudge Harry's legs further apart. Settling himself between them, he nipped lightly at Harry's shoulder. “Nothing's hurting you, is it, love?”

Harry shook his head. "No," he said, running a hand through Neville's hair. "I'm all right."

“Good,” Neville said, pressing his lips to Harry's before moving slowly down his body to lay between his legs. Resting his hands on Harry's thighs, Neville leaned in to brush his lips teasingly along the length of his erection before wrapping them around the head and sucking.

Harry bucked his hips into Neville's mouth, moaning. "Ohh...."

Pushing Harry's hips back down against the bed, Neville slowly slid his mouth down further until he'd taken all of Harry into his mouth.

Harry gasped. "Oh, _fuck_ , Neville...."

Neville let out a quiet hum around Harry's cock before pulling back to leave only the head between his lips. He circled his tongue around the head before swallowing his length again. Harry's hips lifted in response as he let out a needy moan, his hands moving to fist in the blankets.

Pulling back again, Neville let his tongue trail along the underside of Harry's cock. Without pausing to tease the head again, he slid his mouth back down to the base quickly, beginning to move back and forth along Harry's length in a steady rhythm.

Harry bucked his hips again, his hands moving from the blankets to pull on Neville's shoulders as the other man began to bob his head. Hissing as Neville enveloped him fully, Harry tugged on Neville's hair, trying to pull him up for a kiss.

Neville finally allowed Harry to pull him up. “Insistent tonight, aren't you?” he teased as he worked his way back up Harry's body to brush their lips together.

Harry blushed and lowered his eyes, even as his arms went around Neville's neck and tightened. He kissed the taller man eagerly, his tongue darting out to sweep across Neville's lips. Neville moaned, his lips parting for the kiss, as he slipped one hand beneath Harry's head to thread through his hair. Harry pulled back to nip at Neville's lips, sucking the bottom one into his mouth gently. Neville's hand tightened in Harry's hair, trying to pull the other man closer as he ground his hips down against him.

“What do you want, Harry?” Neville asked breathlessly when he broke away from Harry's lips. He slipped one hand between them to begin unfastening his trousers as he nuzzled Harry's neck.

Harry whimpered and bucked his hips up against him. "I... would you..." Harry trailed off uncertainly, looking away, before clenching his fists and saying, all in a rush, "Wouldyoutiemeupmore?"

Neville paused, looking at Harry in surprise for a moment before leaning in to kiss him. “What do you mean by 'more'?” he asked roughly, leaning down to nip at Harry's neck. “You want me to tie your arms down, or was there something more you had in mind?”

Harry returned the kiss eagerly before searching for the words he wanted. "I ... I ... ..." he stammered.

Neville shifted off of Harry to curl up along his side, draping one arm across his waist. “What is it, love?”

"I... like giving you all the control," Harry said, almost inaudibly.

Neville paused darting his tongue across his lips. “You should be careful about saying that, Harry,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss Harry's neck just above his collar. “I wouldn't want to take that to mean something it doesn't...”

Harry's breath hitched as he thought about that, recognising the deeper levels of control that Neville could be talking about. "What if... what if I _do_ mean it?" he whispered.

Neville lifted his face from Harry's neck, reaching up to grasp his jaw gently. “Then say it,” he said, meeting Harry's eyes. “I want to hear you tell me what you mean.”

Harry searched for the words to describe what he wanted, what he meant. "I... want you to have total control," he finally whispered. "Maybe not all the time, but sometimes... I don't want to... have to think about it. I just want to be yours..."

Neville smiled, moving to straddle Harry's waist again as his hands grasped both of his wrists. He pinned Harry's arms to the bed above his head, leaning down bite at his neck, sucking to leave a mark.

Harry gasped and arched up into Neville, tilting his head back to give the other man better access. "Ohh..."

Neville kissed the spot he'd bitten before taking advantage of angle of Harry's neck and making another mark a little higher.

Harry arched backward even more, his hips pushing up against Neville. "Mmmm...."

Neville pulled back with a low groan, grinding himself down against Harry. “Close your eyes, and _don't move_ ,” he ordered, loosening his hold on Harry's wrists as he straightened and moved off of him.

Harry closed his eyes and chewed his lower lip anxiously, resisting the urge to roll and follow Neville's movements. Neville watched Harry as he moved off the bed, retrieving two extra lengths of rope from the nightstand, as well as Harry's leash. Laying the leash aside for the moment, Neville sat carefully at the edge of the bed, lifting Harry's wrists enough to work the rope around them into the same cuffs he'd used earlier.

Harry's breathing evened out somewhat as he felt Neville tying his wrists together. The rope's texture was beginning to feel familiar on his skin, the faint hint of magic coursing through it sending a shiver down his spine. "Neville..." he whispered.

Neville leaned down to kiss Harry before taking the second rope he'd brought out, fastening one end around the cuffs and the other to the headboard of the bed, allowing Harry to squirm without being able to move too much or tighten the bindings. “Such a good boy, Harry,” he murmured, threading his fingers through Harry's hair for a moment.

Harry's cheeks tinted, but he held his eyes closed, his teeth back to worrying at his lower lip. "Neville, I..."

“What is it, love?” Neville asked, bringing his hand down to caress Harry's cheek.

Harry nuzzled his cheek against Neville's hand, still holding his eyes closed as he took a deep breath and whispered, "If you don't want to... I... I understand..."

“I want this, Harry; more than you know.” Neville leaned down to press his lips to Harry's, stroking his thumb across his cheek.

Harry relaxed into the kiss, arching up slightly to press closer. As they broke apart again, he smiled. "All... all right."

Neville pulled away from Harry again to stand, removing his trousers and kicking them aside. Picking up Harry's leash, he climbed back onto the bed, straddling Harry's waist as he curled the handle around his hand a few times. “Now,” Neville murmured, leaning down to kiss Harry's neck as he clasped the leash onto the ring of Harry's collar. “You can open your eyes again.”

Harry shivered as Neville straddled him, letting out a soft moan of approval as the leash clicked into place. He opened his eyes to look up at Neville adoringly.

Giving the leash a firm tug, Neville smiled, ducking his head to bring his lips beside Harry's ear. “ _Mine_.”

Harry’s entire body shuddered lightly against Neville's as he nodded. Sliding his free hand between them, Neville shifted the ropes that passed between Harry's legs wider apart, careful to keep them from pulling and hurting the other man. His fingers sought out Harry's entrance, circling it teasingly as he murmured a lubrication spell against Harry's neck.

Harry whimpered softly, tugging at the restraints binding his hands.

Neville nipped at Harry's neck as he pushed one finger slowly into him, adding a second soon after as he bit down again on Harry's neck. Harry groaned, pushing back against Neville's fingers with a soft hiss.

Neville curled his fingers, working them slowly in and out of Harry's arse. “You look so good like this, Harry,” he murmured, kissing his way up Harry's neck toward his jaw.

Harry gasped as Neville's fingers brushed his prostate and he squirmed sharply. "Ahh...!"

Neville chuckled, thrusting his fingers into Harry more roughly, striking his prostate again.

Harry gave a strangled cry and arched upward. "Ngghhh!"

“You like that, Harry?” Neville asked, tugging the leash with his other hand as he worked his fingers faster.

"Ohh... _fuck_ , yes, Neville..." Harry panted desperately.

Neville groaned, withdrawing his fingers after another moment, shifting over Harry until the head of his cock was pressed against his entrance. “Do you want me to fuck you?” he asked, brushing his lips against Harry's. “I want to hear you beg for it.”

Harry whimpered and nodded. "Yes, Neville, please... please fuck me. Want to feel you inside me.... please..."

“Such a good boy,” Neville murmured, pressing his lips to Harry's as he rocked his hips forward, pushing slowly into him.

Harry moaned into the kiss, his body struggling to adjust as Neville entered him. "Ohhh..."

Neville took a ragged breath as he sheathed himself fully inside Harry, slipping his hand between them to curl around the base of Harry's cock and squeeze. Harry groaned and bucked his hips up with a soft whine.

Neville smirked, pulling back to meet Harry's eyes. “Needy slut,” he teased, rolling his hips and nipping at Harry's lower lip.

Harry groaned again. "Yes," he agreed. "Your slut..."

“Yes,” Neville breathed, squeezing Harry's cock as his hips moved again. He thrust shallowly into Harry a few times, leaning down over him to bring his lips beside his ear. “My perfect slut,” he murmured, nipping at Harry's ear. “All mine.”

Harry pulled roughly on the ropes around his wrists, using them for leverage as he pushed up to meet Neville's thrusts.

“Oh, _fuck_ , Harry,” Neville gave Harry's leash a firm tug, thrusting roughly into Harry. “Is this what you want?” he asked, burying his face against Harry's neck again. He slid his hand along the length of Harry's cock.

Harry nodded frantically. "Yes.... please... please, Neville... ohhh..." His legs widened further and wrapped around Neville's waist.

Neville groaned in approval, pulling back to claim Harry's lips as he sped the pace of his thrusts, matching the pace of his hand on Harry's cock. Harry's body began tensing under him as he drew closer and closer to the edge.

Feeling Harry start to tense, Neville sped his pace up even more, angling his hips to strike Harry's prostate with every thrust.

Harry gave a strangled cry. " _Fuck_ , Neville, I'm... I..."

“Come for me, Harry,” Neville ordered roughly, giving a tug on Harry's leash for emphasis. “Be nice and loud, like a good little slut.”

Neville's order, the tug to his leash, and the continued stimulation pushed him over and Harry came hard, crying out Neville's name loudly as his body shuddered through his orgasm.

Neville buried his face against Harry's neck as he gave a few last frantic thrusts before following him over the edge, moaning Harry's name against his shoulder.

Harry whimpered, lying limply underneath him, his legs still wrapped around Neville's waist. He tugged feebly at the restraints.

Neville kissed Harry as he pulled away after a moment. “Let me up, love, so I can untie you,” he ordered gently, tapping one of Harry's legs.

Harry whined, but slid his legs down to splay against the duvet beneath the other man.

Neville chuckled, kissing Harry before shifting off of him, reaching for the ropes binding his arms and untying them from the bed first. Pulling the ropes away from Harry's skin, Neville unravelled the cuffs as quickly as possible, dropping the rope over the edge of the bed before caressing Harry's wrists. “Does anything hurt?”

Harry considered that as he squirmed slightly on the bed. "The rope... between my legs.... and around my cock... chafes a bit," he admitted.

Neville nodded, sitting back and gesturing for Harry to get up. “Up on your knees, so I can get those off you.”

Harry clambered unsteadily to his knees, swaying a bit as he did.

“Lean on me, love,” Neville murmured, pulling Harry forward until his head rested against his shoulder. Slipping his hands between them, Neville loosened the rope that passed between Harry's legs and wound around his cock, unravelling it slowly to keep it from rubbing too roughly across his skin. He reached one arm behind Harry, once it was loosened, to help free it from the lowest row of the corset, finally tossing it over the edge of the bed with the other ropes after several moments.

Harry winced as Neville's hands moved over the sensitive area. He sighed in relief as the rope was finally removed, remaining with his head and shoulder resting against Neville's chest and neck, his arms moving to wrap around his waist.

Neville smiled, turning to place a kiss against Harry's cheek. His hands caressed Harry's hips, one brushing against the ropes still wrapped around him. “Do you need the rest of these off, Harry?”

Harry shook his head, not moving from his place resting against Neville. "No... they're all right, if you like them."

“We'll keep them for now, as long as they don't start to hurt you.” Neville curled his arms properly around Harry's waist, pulling him closer. “I love you.”

Harry blushed. "I love you, too, Neville..." he whispered into his ear.

Neville's smile widened as he pressed a kiss to Harry's forehead. “Lay down, so I can cuddle you properly?”

Harry nodded, shifting away and laying himself down on his back again, reaching out for Neville as he did. Neville laid down beside him, curling up against Harry's side and resting his head against his shoulder. Harry shifted closer, tangling their legs and clinging to Neville's hand.  
“Was that all right?” Harry asked in a shy whisper.

“It was brilliant,” Neville reassured him with a gentle squeeze.

"Would you tell me what you liked most about it?"

“It's hard to explain, Harry,” Neville answered carefully. “It...helps me to let go a little more, knowing that you _want_ me to have that control, and it means that I can be a bit more possessive than I usually would be. But...” He paused, trying to think of how to phrase his thoughts before letting out a soft sigh. “Honestly, love, it's hard for me to put into words.”

Harry nodded slowly. "All right," he said. "Maybe we can figure it out together." He paused, tracing circles on Neville's chest. "It's Saturday night... Could I.... could I be yours until the end of the week-end?"

Neville smiled, leaning in again to kiss Harry's forehead. “You can be mine as long as you want, Harry.”

Harry smiled in return. "All right."

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Notes:** The approximate cuff design Neville uses can be seen [here](http://www.bdsm-chicago.com/cram/TUTS_larksheadhandcuffs.html). The basic rope corset design can be seen [here](http://www.japanrope.com/tutorial5/tutorial5-t.html).


	11. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
> 

Chapter 14

 

Neville smiled as the early morning sunlight, filtering through the window, caught in Harry's hair. His fingers threaded through the ruffled mess as he watched Harry sleeping. It was rare for him to be the first one up, and he'd taken full advantage of the time to enjoy Harry's peaceful expression. His mind wandered over their discussion from the night before, and he pulled his lower lip between his teeth as an idea flitted across his mind.

Looking over Harry's sleeping form again, his smile widened as he nudged the other man from his side onto his back, careful not to wake him as he tugged the blankets away. Harry's legs spread easily as he inched them apart, Neville watching for any signs that Harry was waking as he settled himself between them. When Harry's eyes remained closed, Neville leaned down to trail his tongue along the underside of his erection, keeping his attention focused on Harry's face as he waited for him to wake.

Harry stirred slowly as the cocoon of warmth that was Neville and the blankets were each slowly pulled back. He was only remotely aware of a teasing sensation to his nearly-full cock, and he moaned, his head falling to one side with a sigh.

Noticing the first signs of wakefulness in Harry, Neville smirked as he wrapped his lips around the head of Harry's cock, circling it with his tongue for a moment before sliding his mouth down toward the base. His eyes fell closed with a low hum as the head brushed the back of his throat and he began sucking.

Harry moaned, still mostly asleep, as he squirmed. "Nev..." he breathed.

Neville laid his hands on Harry's thighs, pinning his hips down to the bed with gentle pressure. He watched Harry's face through his lashes as he began sliding his mouth along his length.

Harry awoke gradually, breathing hard, staring down at Neville with a mixture of confusion, sleep and lust.

Neville pulled back, moving one hand to grip the base of Harry's cock. “Good morning,” he said, sliding his hand along its length. He locked eyes with Harry as he brought his lips closer to his cock again, brushing them against the head and darting his tongue out to tease the slit before withdrawing.

Harry moaned and pushed his hips up wantonly. "Morning," he whispered hoarsely.

“Needy slut,” Neville murmured affectionately, squeezing Harry's cock before removing his hand. His smile widened as he crawled up along Harry's body, kissing and biting a trail from his navel up to the curve of his neck.

Harry arched underneath him, moaning appreciatively. "If I'm a slut, you're a nympho.... waking me up like that..."

Neville chuckled as he nuzzled Harry's neck, nipping at a spot just above his collar. “Just for that, I think I'll drag things out even longer than I'd planned,” Neville said as he kissed his way along Harry's jaw. “You're in for quite the morning, Harry.”

Harry groaned as he wound his arms around Neville's neck and pushed up against him.

“Nice try, love,” Neville murmured, leaning down to kiss Harry briefly before pulling back. “Let me up and then get on your hands and knees for me.”

Harry whined, pulling his arms away with a pout before pushing himself over and into position. "Why?"

Neville reached one arm under Harry to hook his finger in the ring on his collar, tugging it as he placed his lips beside his ear. “Because that's where I want you,” he answered firmly before moving off the bed. “Don't move,” he added as he crouched down in front of the nightstand, tugging open the bottom drawer to rummage through it for a moment.

Harry moaned as Neville tugged on the collar, a small smile curving the corners of his mouth as he turned his head to watch the other man searching in the drawer. Neville glanced at Harry and chuckled when he saw him watching. Removing an anal plug and cock ring from the drawer, Neville pushed it closed and straightened.

“I have a question for you,” he said as he knelt behind Harry on the bed, “And I want you to really think before you answer me.” Setting both toys aside for a moment, he ran his hands up Harry's legs, squeezing his arse before passing over it to rub his back. “Are you certain you want to give me total control today, Harry?”

"I... I want to try," Harry finally answered, turning to look over his shoulder at the other man.

Neville smiled, shifting his position enough to lean over Harry's back and brush their lips together. “Prove to me how much you want it,” he murmured, kissing Harry's neck as he pressed his hips forward, grinding his erection against the other man’s arse. “You can either beg me to fuck you, and I'll make you come just like this; or, you can play a bit of a game with me, at the cost of not getting off until later. Which will it be?”

"You... you want the game," Harry whispered.

“I do,” Neville agreed, nuzzling Harry's neck. “But I want this to be your decision. I won't be disappointed if you don't want to go along with it, but I do want to see how much control you're really willing to give me.”

Harry bit his lower lip, but nodded. "I want to, Neville. I... want to know."

Neville sat back onto his heels, letting his hands wander over Harry's arse again for a moment. “The game is simple; you're going to be kept on edge for me while we go about our morning, until I decide it's time for you to come. If you've been a good boy for me-” Neville leaned in to brush his lips against the small of Harry's back, moving down toward his arse slowly. “Then I might give you some say in how that happens. If you haven't, then I'm going to drag it out to tease you as your punishment.”

"I... think I understand..." Harry whispered slowly.

Neville's hands squeezed Harry's arse roughly before he pulled back to retrieve the plug. Murmuring a lubrication spell, he pressed the tip against Harry's entrance, pushing it in slowly. His other hand reached around to brush his fingers against Harry's cock.

Harry groaned and pushed back against the plug, taking it deeper. "Neville..."

Neville bit down on his lip to suppress a moan as he watched Harry move, taking a steadying breath as he pushed the plug fully into him. His fingers curled around Harry's cock and stroked him as he reached for the cock ring, closing it around the base before pulling his hands away. “Sit up,” he ordered, a little breathlessly.

Harry pushed himself up, awkwardly assuming his 'kneel' position.

Pressing himself against Harry's back, Neville tangled his fingers in his hair, pulling his head back to rest against his shoulder. “Are you going to be my good little slave for the day, Harry?” he asked, letting his hands trail over Harry's sides lightly.

Harry shivered at that. "Yes..." he whispered softly.

Neville hesitated, turning Harry's face toward him to look into his eyes. “If you're uncomfortable, we don't have to do this...”

Harry's eyes were dark with need as he shook his head. "No, I... I want to."

Neville relaxed, smiling as he leaned in to press his lips to Harry's. “Fetch me your leash off the nightstand and kneel on the floor,” he ordered, tracing his thumb across Harry's cheek before dropping his hand and shooing him to move.

Harry moved slowly, the plug jostling inside him as he slid off the side of the bed, taking the leash and holding it loosely in his hands as he resumed 'kneel' position on the floor beside the bed.

“Good boy,” Neville murmured, taking the leash from Harry to clasp it onto the ring of his collar. His eyes travelled appreciatively over Harry's body for a moment before he pushed himself to his feet. Snatching up his trousers from the floor, Neville stepped into them, allowing the leash to pull at Harry's collar a few times to see if he would try to move.

Harry stretched his torso slightly as the leash pulled, his eyes on Neville to determine whether the other man wanted him to move. Making his decision, he remained in place.

Neville's mouth turned up into an approving smile as he reached out to ruffle Harry's hair. “Come on, love. If I'm going to torture you like this, it's only fair that I feed you, first,” he teased, giving the leash a firm tug as he stepped towards the bedroom door.

Harry hesitated for only a second before crawling gingerly after Neville, wincing from the plug moving inside him.

Once in the kitchen, Neville ordered Harry to kneel next to the table while he prepared a simple breakfast of sausages, toast and tea. Bringing two mugs of tea and one plate over to the table, he sat in the chair next to Harry’s kneeling form, looking down at the other man with a smile.

“Here’s your tea,” he said as he handed one of the mugs to Harry.

“Thank you,” Harry said, his cheeks pink as it became clear that Neville intended to have him kneel for the entire meal.

Neville cut several of the sausages into bite-sized bits, picking up one piece in his fingers and holding it to Harry’s lips. “Eat,” he ordered.

Blushing furiously, Harry leaned forward, opening his mouth to take the morsel from Neville’s fingers delicately.

“Good boy,” Neville murmured in approval, taking a bite of his own breakfast. He alternated between feeding Harry and then himself, until the plate was empty. “Still hungry?” he asked.

Harry shook his head, then broke position to reach up and pull Neville’s hand back toward him. Leaning in, his tongue darted out to lick at the other man’s fingertips, cleaning the grease off of his hand.

Neville groaned. “ _Good_ boy, Harry,” he whispered. Harry whimpered in response, reaching out to tease a hand over the bulge in Neville’s trousers. Neville batted his hand away with a sharp _tsk_. Pushing his chair back, he stood abruptly, tugging sharply on Harry’s leash. “Up,” he ordered.

Harry stood, his movements slow and awkward from the plug. He groaned as Neville dragged him out of the kitchen and into the lounge.

Neville took a seat on the sofa, leaving the other man standing in front of him. “Display,” he ordered, keeping a firm hold on the leash so that Harry couldn't step back to assume the position.

Harry assumed the position, off balance and swaying in place from Neville's grip on the leash.

“I could watch you like this all day, you know,” Neville mused, leaning forward to brush his lips against Harry's chest, placing his free hand against his hip.

Harry let out a soft, needy whimper but did not move from the position, staring down at Neville with darkened eyes.

Looking up to meet Harry's eyes, Neville smirked, moving his hand to trail his fingers lightly over the length of Harry's cock. “Feel free to speak, love.”

Harry groaned. " _Merlin_ , Ne- Sir..." he began. "I'm not sure I can last all day..."

Neville chuckled, closing his hand around Harry's cock and squeezing lightly. “I wouldn't make you go that long,” he assured between kisses as he kissed down towards Harry's navel. “But I do have something else in mind before I give you your release.”

Harry whimpered again, his eyes never leaving Neville's. "Yes, Sir?"

“Patience,” he reprimanded, returning his hand to Harry's hip before leaning back against the sofa. He gave a bit of slack in the leash to allow Harry to move as he nodded toward the floor and ordered, “Down.”

Harry moved into the 'down' position, his movements growing more awkward from the plug and his arousal.

“Be honest with me, love; are you enjoying this?” Neville asked, letting his eyes travel over Harry's back.

"Yes, Sir...." Harry breathed.

Neville smiled in satisfaction, tugging on the leash. “Tell me how you want me to bring you off.”

Harry groaned, his back trembling with the effort of holding the position. "I... I want ... you to ... fuck me... Sir..."

“Up,” Neville ordered, giving the leash a firm tug for emphasis.

Harry pushed himself up, assuming the 'kneel' position uncertainly.

Neville shook his head as he stood and gave the leash another pull. “All the way, love,” he said, waiting for Harry to rise to his feet to pull him against his chest, curling one arm tightly around his waist before leaning in to kiss him.

Harry snogged back, a bit desperately, his arms winding around Neville's neck.

Humming in approval, Neville pressed himself against Harry as he deepened the kiss. The hand still holding onto the leash slid between them, unclasping it from the ring on Harry's collar before he pulled away, breathing heavily. “Go remove the plug and meet me in the bedroom,” he ordered, brushing his lips against Harry's jaw as he slid his hand from around his waist. “This,” he added, tapping the cock ring, “stays on, though.”

Harry let out another needy whimper as he pulled his arms back with a nod. "Yes, Sir..." he breathed, turning and heading for the loo.

Neville watched Harry's arse as he moved away, waiting until he disappeared down the hall to move. Stripping off his trousers once he was in the bedroom, Neville laid the leash on the nightstand as he sat on the edge of the bed, teasing his fingers over his erection as he eyed the door, waiting for Harry.

Harry hesitated uncertainly in the doorway to the bedroom, his tongue darting over his suddenly-dry lips at the picture Neville made.

Neville arched one eyebrow curiously at Harry, waving him over with his free hand. “What's that look for?” he asked in an amused tone.

Harry crossed to him, winding his arms around Neville's neck and nuzzling him roughly. "You just... look so amazing... like that."

Neville laughed, wrapping his arms around Harry's waist. “I think you just enjoy seeing what you do to me.”

Harry nodded. "That, too," he admitted.

Neville turned his face in toward Harry's neck, biting a trail up toward his jawline. “Lie back on the bed,” he ordered, his lips hovering beside Harry's ear. One hand reached down to squeeze his arse roughly to emphasise his words as he nipped at Harry's earlobe. “I need you...now.”

Harry groaned and nodded, climbing onto the bed, his movements still jerky and awkward.

Neville positioned himself between Harry's legs as he settled back onto the bed, lining his cock up with Harry's already stretched entrance. He pressed the head against him teasingly, murmuring a lubrication spell before thrusting slowly forward. Neville leaned down over Harry as he entered him, nuzzling Harry's neck. Harry's arms wound around Neville's neck again, kissing the other man's jaw as he let out a desperate groan.

“ _Fuck_ , Harry,” Neville breathed before beginning to rock his hips against Harry, moving in and out of him in shallow thrusts.

Harry keened, pushing up to meet Neville's thrusts, whining in frustration.

Neville groaned against Harry's neck, answering his whine with a sharp snap of his hips. “Is this what you want?” he asked roughly, angling his thrust upward as he repeated the action.

"Yes.... _gods_ yes, Sir...please..." Harry pleaded.

Neville shivered again, reaching his hand between them to open and remove the ring from around the base of Harry's cock. Tossing it aside, he curled his fingers around Harry's shaft to stroke him, matching the pace with his hips as he began pushing roughly into him.

Harry gasped and arched backward sharply. "Neville!"

Pulling back from Harry's neck, Neville claimed Harry's lips in a demanding kiss.

Harry moaned into the kiss, moving with him desperately, trying to hold on for Neville's permission but hurtling toward the edge.

Neville squeezed his hand around Harry's cock as he pulled away from the kiss with a low groan, scraping his teeth over Harry's lower lip. “Come, Harry,” he ordered, angling his hips again to pound into his prostate.

As though on command, Harry let himself go and tumbled over the edge, coming with a shuddering cry. "Neville!"

Neville clenchedhis other hand in the sheets beneath them, squeezing his eyes closed as he tensed and gasped out Harry's name as he came.

Harry continued to shudder and tremble underneath him, clinging to Neville and kissing his neck and jaw frantically. Neville lifted his face from Harry's neck after a long moment, turning into one of his kisses. Harry kissed him deeply, one hand moving to toy with Neville's hair. Neville smiled into the kiss, pulling Harry with him as he rolled onto his side, curling one arm around his waist.

Harry nuzzled his neck. "I love you, Neville."

“I love you too,” Neville murmured, snuggling closer to Harry.

Harry cuddled against him, kissing his neck, running his hand over Neville's shoulder.

Neville chuckled, stroking the small of Harry's back. “Should I assume you've enjoyed yourself, then?” he teased.

Harry nodded, suddenly shy. "Yes... _Merlin_ , yes..."

Neville smiled, bringing his hand up to cup Harry's cheek. “I'm glad; you handled it very well, love.”

Harry blushed. "I... thank you..."

Neville's smile widened as Harry blushed, stroking his thumb across his cheek. “Why are you blushing?” he asked curiously. “I know I've told you you've done well before, so it can't be that.”

“I don’t know,” Harry confessed.

“So adorable,” Neville whispered, leaning in to press his lips to Harry's.  
Threading his fingers into Harry's hair, Neville pulled him closer, resting his forehead against Harry's when they broke apart. “Thank you, Harry...”

Harry looked at Neville in confusion. "Huh?"

“For doing this with me,” Neville said, continuing to run his fingers through Harry's hair with a small smile.

Harry’s blush deepened. "I... like it, too..."

“I know,” Neville chuckled, moving his hand to curl around Harry's waist again. “Still, it means a lot to me that you want to do these things.”

Harry nuzzled his neck, cuddling closer. "I do," he whispered. “I’d do anything for you, Neville.”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	12. Chapters 15 & 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
> 

Chapter 15

 

_Percy raised his head at the sound of the door to his flat opening, his eyes locking on Harry standing on the threshold. "You're late," he said sharply, without glancing at the clock._

_Harry shrugged out of his robes and hung them by the door. "Sorry, Percy," he said, voice cracking with exhaustion. "We had a late case and I had to finish up the paperwork before I could leave."_

_"I don't recall closing the Floo," Percy said, standing from his chair to step closer to Harry. "You expect me to believe your_ paperwork _was so dire, you couldn't have found five minutes to inform me that you would be late?"_

_Harry reached out to put a hand on Percy's arm. "I'm sorry, really," he apologised. "I didn't think it would take as long as it did."_

_"Of course not," Percy murmured, glancing down at Harry's hand on his arm and smiling. "But," he continued, returning his gaze to Harry's face, stepping closer to pin the other man between himself and the wall, "that's the issue, isn't it?_ You didn't think _."_

_Harry's eyes widened as he stared at the redhead. "I - well..."_

_Percy's faint smile remained in place as he leaned in towards Harry, bracing one of his hands against the wall on Harry's right. "I sat here waiting for you, Harry; without any idea what was keeping you for so long. Now, how do you think that makes me feel?" he asked, bringing his other hand up to grasp his jaw firmly._

_"I - I'm sorry, Percy," Harry stammered, as Percy grabbed his jaw and forced him to look into his eyes. "Honestly, I am."_

_"Oh, I believe you, Harry," Percy assured him with icy calm, dipping his head to trail kisses that were as much teeth as they were lips along the other man's jaw. "I believe you're sorry_ now _, though only because you realise you've upset me." Twisting Harry's face away from him to bare his neck to him, Percy continued marking his trail of kisses down toward his shoulder. "But you're not sorry enough. Not yet," he added._

_"Percy, please..." Harry protested, resting his palms on the other man's chest, although stopping short of actually pushing him away._

_Chuckling darkly as Harry laid his hands against his chest, Percy shifted his stance, maintaining his hold on Harry's jaw as he slipped his other between them. "You won't push me away, Harry," he said confidently, palming Harry's groin through his trousers. "Do you know why?" he asked in a whisper, before nipping at the lobe of his ear._

_Harry groaned, leaning back against the wall, his palms still resting on Percy's chest. "W-why?"_

_"Because you need to be punished, and you know it. Don’t you, Harry?" he asked, the surety in his tone making it clear he didn't expect an answer. The hand grasping Harry's chin slid downward, his fingers curling around Harry's neck, although he didn't apply much pressure at first. "Keeping me waiting as you did... You should have known better than that, shouldn't you?"_

_Harry's arms tensed instinctively against Percy, though he still didn't push him away. "Percy, stop it. Please."_

_"Why?" Percy asked, smugly satisfied that Harry continued not to fight back. "Do you think I'm wrong?" His hand continued to rub Harry through the fabric of his trousers, as his teeth nipped at the sensitive spot behind Harry's ear._

_Harry dropped his head back against the wall. "It's not like I did it on purpose, all right? Come on..."_

_"I'm getting tired of your excuses, Harry," Percy hissed, tightening his grip around Harry's neck slightly. "Do you really think it's only about being late tonight?"_

_Harry reacted by pushing back against Percy instinctively. "What are you talking about?"_

_Ignoring Harry's push, Percy pressed himself against the other man's chest, pinning him firmly to the wall at his back. "_ Everything _," he snapped. "I give you everything, Harry. My time...my affection..." Percy's bit down sharply on Harry's neck behind his ear, trailing a few similar bites down toward his shoulder between comments. "And still I get things like this in return when you fuck up," he hissed, the last of his sentence coming out harsher than the rest. "Excuses and cheek."_

_Harry's breath had left his lungs in a whoosh as Percy pinned him up against the wall. He pushed against him, but the taller man had caught him off balance. "Percy, you're hurting me. Stop it."_

_"No." Percy kept one hand curled around Harry's throat to discourage him from moving as the other began to slowly unfasten the buttons of his shirt. "You still need to be taught a lesson, Harry."_

_Harry struggled with Percy, trying to dislodge his hand from around his neck._

_"Stop it," Percy reprimanded, freeing the last button of Harry's shirt at last and leaving it to hang open as he began opening the other wizard's trousers. "You know as well as I do that you've earned this. That you_ want _it," he added, bringing his lips beside Harry's ear._

 _"Percy, stop it..._ please _," he pleaded frantically._

_"Come now, Harry," Percy coaxed, his voice suddenly soft as he tugged open the fabric of Harry's trousers, slipping his hand inside with a gentle touch that seemed at odds with the pressure of his body keeping the other man pinned in place. "Don't you want to make all of this up to me?"_

_Harry swallowed hard, taking hope from Percy's change of tone, and nodded. "Yes, of course - of course I do, Percy."_

_"That's my Harry," he murmured, slipping his fingers beneath the waistband of Harry's pants to curl his hand around the base of his cock. "Now be a good boy and take your punishment," he crooned, nipping at Harry's throat more gently. "Then all can be forgiven..."_

_Harry's breath hitched. "Percy... please..."_

_"What?" Percy asked, giving Harry's cock a squeeze as he did. He loosened his hold on Harry's throat as he became satisfied the other man was no longer trying to get away from him._

_Harry's hand moved down to grasp Percy's wrist. "Please, don't, Percy. I'm sorry. I am. I'll make it up to you," he said softly, pleadingly._

_Percy's expression hardened and he released Harry's throat to grasp his chin firmly. "I'm not interested in an apology that's on your terms anymore, Harry. We do this my way, or you leave; there are no other options."_

_Harry whimpered and his hand moved from Percy's wrist to stroke over the redhead’s hand gently. "Please. I will."_

_Leaning in, Percy pressed his mouth roughly to Harry's, withdrawing his hand from the other man's cock. "No more complaints, then, Harry. Turn toward the wall," he ordered, pulling away only enough for Harry to move._

_Harry hesitated for a moment, staring wide-eyed at Percy._

_"_ Now, _" Percy added sharply, "Unless you'd rather I get your things."_

_Harry turned around quickly, ducking his head to hide the sudden well of tears at the threat._

_"There, now," Percy murmured, pressing himself against Harry's back. "You see how much easier things are for you when you behave?" Reaching around Harry, Percy grabbed the waistband of Harry's trousers and pants, shoving them down past his hips._

_Harry whimpered, thrown off balance by the movement, steadying himself by pressing his palms against the wall._

_Percy reached up to tangle his fingers in the other man's hair as he pushed his face to the wall, his cheek pressed firmly to the smooth surface. "Things are going to change from here out, Harry," he hissed, bringing his lips in near Harry's ear. "Do you understand me?"_

_Harry swallowed hard, his glasses askew and pressing into his face. "What- what things?" he managed._

_"Everything." Percy held Harry's face to the wall as he began unfastening his own trousers with his other hand. "You're damaged goods, Harry," he ground out, dragging his teeth along the side of Harry's neck. "But I know how to fix you..."_

_Harry whimpered again, pushing back away from the wall in a desperate bid for freedom. "Percy, please..."_

_"Lesson one," Percy snapped, tightening his fingers in Harry's hair as his other hand pressed against his shoulder blades, pushing him roughly into the wall again. "_ I _am the one in charge here. You either learn that or get out of my sight."_

_"Please," Harry sobbed softly._

_"Don't you see, pet?" Percy asked, his tone quieter, though no less sharp, as the hand against Harry's shoulder blades slid slowly down his back. "I'm not doing this to hurt you..." Pressing himself against Harry's back to hold him to the wall, Percy bit a trail upward from his shoulder toward his ear. "I want to make you better. Would I do that for you if I didn't love you?"_

_Harry moved a hand to wipe at his face and shake his head slowly. "No, Percy."_

_Percy turned Harry's face to the side to press his lips to his in a brief and bruising kiss. "That's right, I'm helping you, aren't I?" Stepping back just enough to push his trousers out of his way, Percy returned to biting along Harry's neck. "You know you need to be taught a lesson, don't you?"_

_Harry just bit down on his lower lip, stifling another sob._

_"From now on, I expect an answer when I ask you something," Percy snapped, his erection pressing insistently against Harry's arse as the redhead clawed at Harry's hip. "You need to see what happens to you when you don't behave properly, I think."_

_Harry pushed off against the wall again, trying to break away from the other man with another sob. "Percy, I'm sorry..."_

_Percy moved quickly, curling the hand that had been at Harry's hip tightly around his throat, pulling the other man's head back against his shoulder and cutting off his windpipe. "If you challenge me again, Harry, there will be no more chances for you. This is happening, or you are leaving_ now _. I will not play games with you anymore."_

_Harry's world began to narrow as his air supply was restricted. He sagged against Percy as his breathing became labored._

_Tsking, Percy loosened his hold on Harry's throat, although he kept his hand curled around it in an obvious threat. "Look what you make me do to you, Harry. Do you think I enjoy being this way with you, when all I want is to help you?"_

_Harry gasped for breath, his mind reeling. He struggled to process what Percy was saying. "No, Percy," he managed finally._

_"Then why do you do this to me?" Percy asked, pressing Harry almost gently against the wall again. "All I want is to fix you...To make you better. Don't you want that?" His tone was coaxing as he pressed himself against the other man again, slowly withdrawing his hand from around Harry's throat._

_Harry let himself relax against the other man, as the threatening hand was removed from around his throat. This was Percy, after all; and Percy loved him. Harry knew he did, and he loved Percy. Perhaps the other man was right; perhaps he was more broken than he realised. "I do; I want to be better," he whispered._

_Percy smiled as he moved his hands to Harry's hips, grinding himself against his arse roughly. "Then you need to take your punishment, Harry. You need to see what happens when you can't behave for me..."_

_Harry stifled a sob as he pushed back slightly against Percy, nodding in defeat._

_Percy tightened his hold on Harry's hip with one hand as the other reached between them, grabbing the base of his cock and guiding it to Harry's entrance. Muttering a half-hearted lubrication charm against Harry's neck, Percy bit down, intent on marking him. With a jerking thrust of his hips, Percy entered Harry in one quick motion, the lubrication charm aiding him only minimally as he dug his nails into Harry's hip._

_Although Harry regularly bottomed, the pain of that quick intrusion, without preparation, made him cry out, his body struggling instinctively to get away from Percy and away from the painful burn that was moving through his body._

_"You're only going to make this worse for yourself," Percy hissed, moving to the other side of Harry's neck to leave a matching bite mark there. His hands pulled Harry's hips back against him, forcing the other man to fuck himself on his cock._

_Harry's mind reeled from the pain and confusion coursing through him. His body adjusted to Percy's cock inside him, and the pain lessened. As Percy continued to fuck him, Harry ceased his struggles and leaned his weight against the wall in front of him, offering his body to the other man. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he fought to breathe._

_Percy dug his nails into Harry's hips as he stopped struggling, angling his hips and thrusting harder into him. "You know I wouldn't do this unless it needed to be done," Percy growled in Harry's ear, his breath starting to come in unsteady pants. "But you deserve this, don't you?"_

_Harry's response, a quiet whimper, transformed into a whine, and then a cry, as Percy's new angle began battering his prostate. Though he was not aroused, the jolts of pleasure-pain that were sparking across his nerve endings began to stir things deep in his groin._

_"Answer me!" Percy snapped, giving his hips a sharp jerk. Percy forced Harry's hips to move in opposition of his movements, allowing him to fuck him roughly as he pulled Harry's arse back onto his cock with each thrust._

_"Yes, Percy," Harry gasped, the rough fucking sending pain spiraling through his body._

_Percy groaned low in his throat as he quickened his pace, losing all sense of rhythm to his movements. "This is what happens when you can't behave properly, Harry." Percy pressed his face against Harry's neck, reaching one of his hands up to trace the curve of the other man's throat as he spoke. "You make me have to hurt you...To teach you a lesson."_

_"I'm ... sorry, Percy," Harry sobbed. "I'm sorry..."_

_"I know you are," Percy breathed, suppressing another groan. The movement of his hips became even more erratic as he felt himself nearing the end. "Just another moment, Harry, and it can all be over. Everything will be okay..."_

_Harry nodded, his movements jerky as he pushed back against Percy._

_Percy buried his face in Harry's neck, alternating between rough kisses and sharp bites as he worked his way down toward his shoulder. Harry's jerky movements against him were enough to drive him over the edge, and he leaned his head back with a loud groan as he came, his fingers clenching on Harry's hip. Harry cried out in pain as Percy's fingernails gouged deep enough to draw blood. He held still, allowing Percy to come down from his climax. Harry was breathing hard and making soft, whimpering moans with every breath._

_Percy rested his forehead against Harry's shoulder for a moment as his breathing steadied. Pulling back from the other man, he muttered a cleaning spell as he tucked himself back into his trousers before reaching to grasp Harry's chin in his hand. His grip wasn't as firm as it had been before, although it wasn't quite gentle as he turned Harry's face toward him, leaning in to press their lips together for a moment. "You're forgiven, pet..."_

_Harry's whimpers had slowed to sniffles as Percy calmed and then withdrew. He heard the other man cast a cleaning charm, but the absence of an answering tingle of magic meant he'd cast it only on himself. Harry bit his lower lip, nodding at Percy's words as he reached to pull his trousers back up and get his wand to clean himself up._

_Percy reached out to grasp Harry's wrist when he went for his wand, making a tsking sound. "Did I tell you that you could clean up?" he asked, guessing at the other man's intentions. "I'd have done it for you if I thought you deserved it, Harry, but you don't." Moving the hand that was holding Harry's chin to cup his cheek, Percy smiled at him. "You're going to show me how well you can behave, and if you're good, then perhaps I'll allow you to shower before we go to bed. Is that clear?"_

_Harry ducked his head as his cheeks turned red. "But -"_

_"Do_ not _question me, Harry," Percy reprimanded, lifting Harry's face to look him in the eyes. "You've already made me punish you once tonight, do not push your luck a second time."_

_Harry bit his lower lip and closed his eyes before nodding slowly. "Yes, Percy," he whispered._

_"That's my Harry," Percy murmured, smirking as he pressed their lips together again. "I love you..."_

_Harry returned the kiss. "I love you too, Percy..."_

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Harry awoke from the nightmare with a jolt, his heart pounding and his breathing harsh and ragged in the quiet of the bedroom. He reached instinctively for Neville, only to remember that the other man was away at another conference and he was alone in his room at Grimmauld Place.

Forcing himself to take a few deep, slow breaths, he rubbed at his eyes wearily. As he brought his hands back down to the blankets, he felt the reassuring scrape of leather against his collarbone. Tracing his fingertips along the edge of the collar, Harry caught his breath as he realised that the monitoring charm Neville had placed on it had probably already awoken the other man. Scribbling a hasty note, he sent it through the Floo network to the hotel, hoping to reassure Neville before he came through the fireplace to check on him.

Padding back to his bedroom, Harry wrapped himself in the duvet and tried to forget.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

****

Chapter 16

 

_Harry Apparated to Percy's cottage, stepping through the door fifteen minutes past his usual time. "Percy? I'm home!" he called as he hung his outer robes by the door. "Sorry I'm a little late, but I had to drop some files off with the Minister and he wanted to say hello..."_

_Percy looked up at Harry as he came in, arching one eyebrow curiously. “It takes you fifteen minutes to say hello, then? Or did the two of you just get so caught up chatting that the time slipped past you?”_

_Harry looked at him in trepidation. "Percy... Kingsley just wanted to say hello, see how things were going. I couldn't very well tell him to bugger off, could I?"_

_“That might be true, but that doesn't excuse you from being late, now does it?” Percy pushed himself out of his chair, crossing the room toward Harry with his arms folded over his chest. “We've talked about what I think of you making excuses for your poor behaviour.”_

_Harry fidgeted and ducked his head. "I'm sorry, Percy, but... it's not like I had control over this!"_

_Percy reached out and grasped Harry's jaw firmly, lifting his face until he met his gaze. “Whether you had control over it or not is irrelevant. It doesn't change the fact that you're late, does it?”_

_Harry's eyes widened. "N-no, Percy."_

_Percy lightened his hold on Harry's jaw. “That's better... Now just take what's coming to you before you make this harder on yourself than it needs to be, pet,” he said, as he pushed the other man back against the wall._

_"Percy - no..." Harry pleaded. "Please..."_

_“Will I need to gag you?” Percy asked as he pinned Harry to the wall, reaching into the other man's trousers to take his wand. “Or can you at least behave enough to manage being quiet when you need to be?”_

_Harry shut his mouth with a strained whimper._

_Percy smirked as he leaned in, pressing a few rough kisses against Harry's jaw. “That's better,” he approved, grabbing Harry's shoulders and turning him to face the wall. “As long as you behave and take your punishment, then I'll make it quick for you tonight, pet.”_

_Harry brought his palms up to brace himself against the wall, his head bowed and eyes closed. He was whimpering and trembling, but he knew that pleading with Percy would only make it worse._

_Pressing himself to Harry's back for a moment, Percy ground against his arse as he bit a trail down Harry's neck and toward his shoulder. His hand slipped between Harry and the wall to begin unfastening his trousers, dragging out the process as long as possible before pushing them part of the way down Harry's hips._

_Harry bit his lower lip, tensing. He was terrified of what was coming. Percy's punishments were getting worse, and though Harry knew the redhead loved him, and that it was Harry's own actions that created the need for the punishments, he was afraid. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he didn't think he should be afraid of his lover._

_Percy frowned to himself at Harry's lack of resistance. Tugging Harry's trousers down until they pooled around his ankles, he worked at opening his own, making quicker work of those than he had Harry's. Not bothering to even push them down, he pulled them open enough to free his semi-hard erection. Muttering a lubrication charm, he grasped the base and rubbed the head against Harry's entrance, waiting to see if Harry would react somehow._

_Harry pressed back against Percy, hoping to entice him into being gentler._

_With a groan more out of frustration than arousal, Percy grabbed Harry's hip with his free hand. He thrust into Harry violently, sheathing himself fully and burying his face against Harry's shoulder._

_Harry whimpered, his body slamming into the wall with the force of Percy's thrust. Tears of pain sprang to his eyes, but he refused to give in to his instincts, instead remaining pliant beneath him. Percy dragged his nails across Harry's hip and scraped his teeth across his neck. His hips moved in sharp snapping motions, sliding into Harry with rough, shallow thrusts. Harry’s whimpers grew louder, but he held still, offering himself to the other man._

_“_ Fuck _,” Percy hissed against Harry's shoulder. He gave a few more sharp thrusts into Harry before withdrawing, placing one hand against Harry's shoulder blades to prevent him from moving away from the wall. Harry breathed a sigh of relief, hoping the worst was over._

 _For a moment, Percy frowned at Harry's back, his mind working quickly for a solution to his problem, before he reached for his wand. “_ Accio _Harry's broomstick,” he whispered almost inaudibly. Harry’s entire body tensed as he caught Percy's whisper and he froze, barely breathing._

_Percy caught the shift in Harry from the corner of his eye and felt his cock twitch. Catching the broom in one hand, he moved the other to tangle in Harry's hair, pulling his head back with a sharp tug. “You're clearly not learning anything this way anymore, Harry,” he hissed in the other man's ear._

_“No,” Harry whispered, as he saw Percy catching the broom out of the corner of his eye._

_It took Percy a moment to angle the broom properly, before he could slip the end between the cheeks of Harry's arse, nudging it against his entrance. “I think we need something a bit different, don't you?”_

_“No!” Harry pushed off from the wall, struggling to free himself from Percy’s grip. “_ No _, Percy.”_

 _Percy nearly laughed as he pressed himself against Harry's back, keeping him firmly pinned to the wall as he removed his hand from Harry's hair. “You forget your place, pet._ You don't have a say _,” he reminded. Drawing his wand, Percy gave it a sharp flick, binding Harry to the wall; he hissed the spell in Harry's ear as he cast it, to emphasize his point, following the action by nipping at his earlobe._

_Harry sobbed as he felt Percy’s magic surround him, struggling as best he could, trying to call his wand to him. He pleaded with the redhead, "Please, Percy, no... not like this, please..."_

_“I've already restrained you, Harry,” Percy growled into his ear, even as his cock hardened at Harry's words. “It would be nothing for me to gag you as well.” Not bothering with a second lubrication charm, Percy pushed the first two inches of the broom's handle slowly into Harry._

_Harry cried out, rocking his body away from Percy as best he could. He was afraid of being gagged, but he was just as afraid of what Percy would continue to do. “Please, no,” he sobbed, stray tears tracking across his cheeks. “ _Stop_ it…”_

_Percy bit down on Harry's shoulder to hide the smirk that threatened to pull at his lips as he slid the broom further into Harry's arse, stopping with nearly seven inches in him. Sliding the handle back out, he angled it upward before thrusting it back into Harry, striking his prostate roughly._

_Harry screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks. He pulled against the restraints, every muscle straining, as he begged Percy to stop. A low growl escaped Percy's throat as he worked the broom in and out of Harry. He pressed himself against Harry's side as he did, grinding himself against Harry's hip as he kept his face buried against the other man's neck and shoulder._

_Harry closed his eyes and stilled, sobbing brokenly, as his muscles gave out and he was still trapped in place. “Please, Percy…” he whispered. “Please stop.”_

_“Come on, Harry, it's nearly over,” Percy murmured against his neck. He angled the broom again, aiming every thrust at Harry's prostate as he slipped his other hand between him and the wall, brushing his fingers against Harry's cock. “If I stop too soon, then you won't learn...”_

_To Harry’s shame, he could feel his cock stirring in response to the constant prodding against his prostate, and Percy’s fingers brushing against him only hardened him further. Harry’s cheeks were scarlet, and soaked with tears, as he kept his eyes squeezed tightly shut. “Please, Percy,” he sobbed. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… please … not like this, please…”_

_Percy wrapped his hand firmly around Harry's cock, stroking his length as he struck Harry's prostate several more times before withdrawing the broom. “Only because you've behaved so well for me,” he whispered in Harry's ear as he dropped the broom onto the floor and kicked it out of his way. “I'll go a little easier on you.” Positioning himself behind Harry again, he muttered a fresh lubrication charm before thrusting into Harry's arse._

_Harry bit down hard on his lower lip, drawing blood, as he tried to will his arousal away. This wasn’t right. In spite of his efforts, though, he could feel his balls drawing up as Percy continued to fist him. His hips involuntarily rocked back and forth between Percy’s hand on his cock and the redhead’s cock in his arse._

_“_ Fuck _,” Percy breathed, feeling Harry pushing back against him. “That's it, Harry, keep going,” he encouraged, lifting his face to roughly kiss Harry's neck. He shifted his stance, making it easier to strike Harry's prostate with every thrust as he pounded into him, kissing and biting his way up Harry's neck toward the line of his jaw._

_Harry’s breath hitched at Percy’s words, the lust evident in his voice as he slammed himself over and over into Harry. Unable to move his arms or legs, all he could do was allow his hips to continue their rocking and turn his face into Percy’s kisses, tears still streaking down his face. Percy moved his hand from Harry’s hip, bringing it up to grab a handful of black hair tightly as he pressed his mouth to Harry's. His thrusts became erratic as he neared the edge, continuing to match the pace with his hand on Harry's cock._

_The familiar feel of Percy's mouth on his sent a wash of comfort flooding through him, letting Harry finally relax into Percy's touch as his body responded to the hand in his hair with a pronounced shiver. There was the feeling - the certainty - that Percy loved and wanted him; his promises that he would protect and shelter Harry. With a last, soft whimper, Harry gave in to the sensations battering him from all sides and came over Percy's hand with a shudder._

_Percy groaned as he felt Harry shudder against him and thrust shallowly into him a few more times before following him over the edge. Tearing his mouth away from Harry's as he came, Percy pressed his face against Harry's neck, dropping his hand from the other man's cock to grasp at his hip again, clinging to him for a moment._

_Harry’s muscles finally gave out completely and he slumped heavily, still pinned in place by the magical restraints and Percy’s slowly softening erection. He whimpered as Percy gripped his hip hard enough to bruise, his hand still tangled painfully in the hair at the back of his skull. “Percy…” he whimpered, his voice breaking. “Percy…”_

_The sound of Harry speaking brought Percy out of his post-orgasmic haze and he immediately loosened his hold on Harry's hair, running his fingers through it as though to soothe the ache he would have left behind. “Don't talk yet,” he said as he withdrew from the other man, reaching for his wand again. “Let me take care of you first, pet.”_

_Harry whimpered and nodded, grateful for the gentleness Percy always showed after one of their fights. These moments were what showed Harry how Percy truly felt about him. “Please, Percy… release me…?”_

_Percy nodded, casting a cleaning charm over both of them before releasing the spell keeping Harry pinned against the wall. “Come here, Harry,” he said, curling his arms around Harry's waist and nuzzling his neck. “Will you come sit down with me so I can make everything better?”_

_Harry stretched his limbs, every movement sending shockwaves of pain lancing through his arse and back after being pinned in place for so long. After stepping out of his pants and trousers, he allowed Percy to walk them over to the sofa._

_Percy tucked himself back into his trousers before sitting, pulling Harry into his lap and holding him close to his chest. He ran one hand soothingly along Harry's back as he cast healing charms for the tearing his roughness and the use of the broom would have caused, as well as one for the bruises he could see forming on Harry's hip. “I'm sorry, Harry,” he murmured after a moment. “You know I hate to be like that with you...”_

_Harry laid his head on Percy's shoulder and closed his eyes, his hand resting on Percy's chest. Shivers ran through him with each spell, and his breathing evened out as the healing charms did their work and the pain receded. He nuzzled Percy's neck. "Why, Percy?" he whispered. "Why do you get so rough?"_

_“If I was gentle about it, it wouldn't be much of a punishment, now would it?” Percy wrapped his arm around Harry's waist to hold him close, resting his cheek on top of his head. “I love you too much_ not _to do it, Harry, if being this way about it makes you better...”_

_“I’m sorry…” was all Harry could say as he cuddled against Percy’s chest. “I love you. I’ll try harder.”_

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Harry sat bolt upright in bed with a strangled cry. He looked wildly around the room for his tormentor, before his mind gained enough wakefulness to recognise his surroundings. With a groan, he threw the covers back and made his way to the kitchen for a cup of tea. As he padded down the hall, he heard the Floo flare to life, and Neville’s voice floated through the darkness.

Harry went into the parlor and stuck his head into the Floo, reassuring Neville that he’d simply had another nightmare. The taller man looked unhappy at his explanation, but agreed to remain at his conference as Harry continued to insist that everything was fine.

Once he’d closed the connection, Harry sat in the parlor, staring at the darkened embers until the early morning light filtered into the house to dispel the darkness.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	13. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
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Chapter 17

 

Harry frowned as he poked his head out of his office and scanned the rest of the department. It appeared that everyone had already gone home for the day, and he had wanted to walk out with someone. Lately, he’d had the uncanny feeling that someone was staring at him, no matter where he went within the Ministry, and coupled with his nightmares, it was really starting to make him uncomfortable. Slinging on his outer robes, he headed for the lift. He was three-quarters of the way down the corridor, deciding on a takeaway for dinner, since Neville was still in Spain at his conference, and Ron was unofficially living at Pansy Parkinson’s flat in Soho, when the _feeling_ returned. The hair on the back of Harry’s neck prickled, and he drew his wand, spinning slowly and surveying the corridor. No one was there, but the feeling did not subside. He walked more briskly towards the lift and pushed the call button uneasily.

As he watched Harry, Percy smiled to himself, hidden beneath a Disillusionment charm and pressed against the wall only a few feet away from the other man. Eyeing the lift, Percy held his breath in anticipation, until the doors opened to admit Harry. He moved quickly, dropping his cover as he pushed Harry through the lift doors, stepping in behind him and aiming his elbow at the 'close doors' button. “Awfully late shift for you tonight, isn't it, Harry?”

Harry had replaced his wand in its sheath as he waited for the lift, convincing himself that the odd feelings he’d had were nothing more than his imagination run amok. Now, as he was shoved into the lift, his hands flew out to catch himself, putting them even further from being able to grab it again. Spinning furiously, he stared at the other man. “What the fuck do you want, Percy? I told you to leave me alone!”

“It's almost cute that you assumed I'd listen,” Percy sneered. Grabbing Harry's wrists before he could attempt to draw his wand, Percy pinned them to the wall of the lift, leaning himself against Harry's body. “You know exactly what I want, Harry; did you really think I'd give up so easily?”

Harry jerked against Percy’s body, trying to get enough leverage to throw the other man off him, while desperately fighting the rising panic within himself. “Get off me!” he shouted, twisting in an effort to get his knee between Percy’s legs.

Percy shifted his hold on Harry's wrists cautiously, until both were pinned securely with one hand. “I don't think you're in any position to be giving orders, _are you_?” he hissed, leaning in toward Harry's ear as his freed hand curled around his throat.

Harry’s eyes widened in fear and he renewed his struggles. “Percy, just _stop_ it! What is _wrong_ with you?”

“Why don't you tell me, Harry?” Percy snapped, tightening his hold on Harry's throat briefly. “What _is_ wrong with me, that I'm no longer good enough for you?”

“Percy!” Harry gasped out, before the other man loosened his hold and he could breathe again. “I am not going to go through this again with you! You left me for dead that night. If it hadn’t been for Hermione, I probably _would_ be dead. How could you think I would stay with you, after that?”

“You give me far too little credit, pet. If I'd ever wanted you dead,” Percy began in an amused tone. “Do you really believe you'd be standing here now?”

“You crossed the line,” Harry said. “You can say what you want, but you crossed it, and there’s no going back.” He stared into Percy’s eyes, willing him to remember some shred of the love he’d thought they’d shared. “I nearly _died_ , Percy.”

“You know I'd have never let that happen to you, Harry...” Percy began stroking his thumb gently over Harry's cheek. “Look at all I'm risking now, just for the chance to speak to you. You could destroy me, Harry, and still I keep coming to you.” He loosened his grip on Harry's wrists slightly, although he didn't quite release them as he continued. “Doesn't that prove how much I love you? Do you think _he_ would go so far to keep you, if you'd walked away from him?”

Harry managed to break free of Percy’s slackened grip and pushed him back several paces in the small space. “This is _not_ about Neville!” he shouted. “I left because of what happened between us!” Tears of frustration, fear and anger welled in his eyes. “Why won’t you understand?”

“Of course this is about him!” Percy's eyes narrowed and he stepped back to keep himself between Harry and the lift door, in case it opened. “You chose him at Christmas, didn't you? All you had to do was tell him to go, and you could have stayed with me. We could have tried again, couldn't we? You could have given me a chance to show you that I could treat you properly, and instead...” His voice trailed off as his hands curled into fists at his sides. “Instead, you've pushed me aside time and again, _because he asked you to_.”

“No, Percy,” Harry said. “You’ve had your chance. Lots of them. They all ended up the same way…”

“You think he'll be any better to you than I was?” Percy challenged. “I wouldn't exactly say that violence is beyond him, given his behaviour the first time we met. How long before he turns that anger on you when you fuck up, Harry?”

“He won’t.” Harry’s voice was full of quiet confidence. “He would never. Not like…”

“Not like _me_ ,” Percy finished for him, taking a step closer to Harry. “You have a remarkable amount of confidence in your new lover, Harry. Has it ever occurred to you that some things are not as good as they appear?” His lip twitched in amusement before he adopted a curious expression, looking directly in Harry's eyes. “He's out of town at the moment, isn't he?”

“How would you know that?” Harry asked in shock, before recovering himself. “What business is it of yours _where_ he is?” he continued, as he inched his hand toward his wand.

“I only wonder if he's spending his nights alone while he's away from you, is all. Perhaps I should check on him for you?” Percy suggested with a smirk.

Harry shook his head. “Stay away from him, Percy,” he warned. “And stay away from me, once and for all!” Harry’s hand finally closed around his wand and he drew it, pointing it squarely at the other man’s chest. “We are _done_ here,” he declared.

Percy glanced down at Harry's wand before he met Harry's eyes with an amused smile. “Whatever you say, Harry.” Raising his hands in a gesture of surrender, Percy side-stepped away from the lift doors, clearing the path for Harry. “It truly was nice to chat with you again, though.”

Harry kept his back to the wall and his eyes on Percy as he waited for the lift to reach its destination. As the doors opened, he backed out slowly, keeping his wand trained on the redhead. “I do not want to see you any more, Percy,” he told the other man. “I don’t know how else I can say it. Goodbye.” With that, Harry waved his wand and the lift doors shut with Percy still inside. Taking his opportunity, Harry ran for the Apparition point and went directly home.

Once safely inside Grimmauld Place, Harry strengthened the wards surrounding the house and then paced through the hall nervously. The encounter with Percy had unsettled him considerably, and he desperately wanted to talk to Neville, but he was reluctant to disturb him at the conference yet again, after waking him the last two nights. Making up his mind, he went to the fireplace and threw a pinch of Floo powder into the flames, calling out the name of the hotel Neville was staying at.

“I am sorry, señor, but he does not seem to be in at the moment,” the desk clerk told him politely. Harry nodded, disappointed, and ended the call.

Too upset to be hungry, Harry headed upstairs to take a shower and go to bed. Things would look better in the morning.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Neville rubbed at his eyes as he half-sprinted towards the bank of Floos in the hotel lobby. The monitoring charm on Harry's collar was sounding for the third night in a row, and although Harry'd told him the last two nights that things were fine, it didn't keep him from panicking. Without bothering to simply stick his head in this time to check on Harry, Neville tossed a handful of powder into the flames and headed for the Spanish Ministy. After arranging for a last-minute international Floo connection, Neville arrived in Calais, then London, and finally stepped through into the front room of Grimmauld Place. “Harry?” he called as he looked around for him.

When he got no answer, Neville made his way towards Harry's bedroom, trying to resist the urge to run through the house, in case he startled him. Biting down on his lower lip, he pushed open Harry's bedroom door. “Harry?” he tried again, more quietly, as he spotted the other man and let out a soft sigh of relief. “Love, what's the matter?”

Harry was sitting with his back against the headboard, knees brought up to his chest, arms wrapped around them. His eyes were wide and staring, his breath ragged, and he did not respond to Neville's question. Neville took a cautious step closer to the bed, trying to get a better view of Harry. It took a moment for him to pick up on Harry's posture and remember the last time that he'd seen it.

Crossing the room in a few quick steps, Neville sat on the edge of the bed and reached out for Harry slowly. “ _Harry_ , look at me, please...”

It had been at least half an hour since Harry’d woken from the nightmare, and somewhere in his brain he recognised Neville’s voice, the feel of the bed dipping as the other man sat down, though he still couldn’t process enough to respond.

“Come on, Harry, _say something_ ,” Neville pleaded. Placing his hand on one of Harry’s, Neville gave it a gentle squeeze, hoping to draw Harry’s attention.

The squeeze, though gentle, caused Harry to jerk away as though burned. Blinking, Harry seemed to really see Neville for the first time, and threw himself into the other man’s arms with a strangled sob.

Neville hesitated for a moment, thrown by Harry’s initial reaction to being touched, before he wrapped his arms around Harry's waist. Trailing one hand soothingly up Harry's back, he nuzzled his neck. “Are you all right, love?”

Harry nodded against his chest. “What… what are you doing home?” he asked in a wavering voice.

Neville reached one hand between them to lightly tap Harry's collar. “The charm went off again. Harry-” Pulling back, Neville kept his other hand moving over Harry's back, as he looked into the other man's eyes. “Three nights in a row, and finding you _like this_ tonight- I need you to tell me what's going on...”

Harry shook his head. “I’m all right, Neville, honestly. I’m sorry the charm disturbed you. It was… just a nightmare.” He sighed quietly. “I won’t wear the collar tomorrow night, so you’ll be able to sleep.”

“I don't care about losing sleep if you need me; and I feel safer knowing that you're wearing it.” Looking down to Harry's collar, Neville stroked his fingers along the band of leather. “Tell me about your nightmare.”

Harry’s hand came up to his throat to trace along Neville’s fingers. “I feel safer wearing it,” he admitted. “It helps when we’re apart.”

Neville placed a kiss against Harry's forehead. “I'm glad it helps you, love. But you're avoiding my other point.”

Blushing, Harry chewed his lower lip as he laid his head on Neville’s shoulder. “It was … about Percy,” he murmured. “He hurt me, and was waiting for you to show up. He was going to hurt you, too.”

Neville frowned, curling his arm tightly around Harry's waist. “Did something happen to bring this on? He hasn't bothered us in a while; is it just me being away that has you on edge about him again?”

“He – he wrote to me a couple of weeks ago, and came down to my office when I wouldn’t agree to meet with him,” Harry admitted. “And yesterday, he…”

“He came to see you and you didn't think to tell me about it?” It took all of his self-control to keep from snapping, although his tone was still sharper than he’d intended. Taking a slow breath, Neville shook his head slightly. “We'll talk about that later; what did he do yesterday?”

“Neville, I- I thought I handled it,” Harry replied. “But yesterday he… he cornered me in the lift after hours.”

Neville tensed. “Did he hurt you?”

Harry shook his head. “No. Not… not really, Nev.” He paused, then continued in a rush, “He pinned me up against the wall and said … said it was you keeping us apart. He threatened you. He knew you were away…”

“He isn't going to hurt me, Harry.” Neville pulled the other man tightly against his chest. “But you need to report him for all this, love. What if he'd done more than just corner you?”

“I – I don’t think he would,” Harry whispered. “He didn’t draw his wand at all. I … I told him to leave us alone once and for all, but… he still frightened me.”

“The fact that he didn't draw his wand is enough for you to continue letting him get away with harassing you?” Neville grasped Harry's chin, lifting his face until their eyes met. “You've already told him to leave us alone, and every time you do, he comes back again. _Telling him_ is not enough anymore, Harry.”

“But, Neville…” Harry’s hand traced nervous circles on Neville’s chest. “Think of what it would do to the Weasleys… to Molly and Arthur…”

“Think of what it's doing to _you_ ,” Neville countered sternly. “I'm not going to watch him get to you like this for months on end, just to save his family from dealing with his behaviour. It isn't fair to you.”

“I know… but they’re my family, too, Neville. I can’t bear to cause them that kind of pain, if it can be helped. Couldn’t we… couldn’t we wait to see if he gets the message this time?”

Neville looked over Harry's expression for a moment, before sighing quietly. “If this continues- or if he puts his hands on you again- then there are no more chances. Understood?”

Harry nodded. “I – I did try to call you tonight,” he murmured. “When I got home, to tell you what had happened. But you weren’t in your room…” he trailed off and buried his face in Neville’s neck.

“One of my lectures ran late,” Neville explained, bringing one hand up to card gently through Harry's hair. “I spent nearly two hours longer than planned discussing alternate methods of handling Mandrakes.” Neville pressed a light kiss to Harry's forehead. “I'm sorry I wasn’t there, love. I wish I had been...”

“I don’t know what I was thinking, calling you at the conference,” Harry whispered. “It’s not like you could have done anything. I… I guess I was just upset. And I wanted to warn you, in case Percy somehow showed up there… he’s really angry about us, Neville. He seems to be blaming you, in spite of everything.”

“Let him blame me, then,” Neville murmured, holding Harry close as he shifted backward onto the bed, pulling his legs up onto the mattress. “I'd rather he came after me than you, Harry. You've been through enough with him.”

“I don’t want anything to happen to you. I’m not sure I could handle it,” Harry’s whisper was nearly inaudible.

“And how do you think I feel when I find out what he's been doing to you?” Neville leaned in and nuzzled Harry's neck. “I can't promise I'd be able to keep my head if he really hurt you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the notes and him coming to the office,” Harry said. “It was our date night. I didn’t want to ruin it; besides, I thought I’d handled it.”

“It's all right, love. But-” Neville straightened so that he could look into Harry's eyes, hooking one finger in the ring on his collar and pulling on it. “From now on, I want you to tell me these things, understood? No matter what we have planned for the evening, if something happened to you, I need to know that.”

Harry blushed, looking away. “I’m not a child, Neville,” he said petulantly. “I’m a fully qualified Auror.”

“And I'm your boyfriend,” Neville stated firmly. “I'm not saying you can't handle yourself, Harry; I know that you can. But that doesn't mean you can just keep this from me, because you think you've taken care of it.”

“You’re right,” Harry said quietly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep it from you. Honestly.”

“You were doing what you thought was best, love. It's all right.” Neville ran both hands down Harry’s back in a slow, soothing motion. Harry hummed in approval and nuzzled Neville’s neck, leaving a trail of soft, kittenish licks along his jaw.

Chuckling, Neville kissed Harry's cheek. “You really are adorable sometimes, you know?”

Harry gave a shy smile. “Am I?”

Neville nodded, reaching up to ruffle Harry's hair. “Very much so.”

Harry blushed and nuzzled him again, before clinging to him tightly. “I’m so glad you came home, Neville. Thank you for that.”

Neville laid back onto Harry's bed, pulling the other man with him. “I'll have to get an obscenely early start in the morning to make it back for my next lecture, but if you want, I can stay here with you tonight.”

“I don’t want to ruin your time at the conference…” Harry wavered.

“I'd much rather be here with you. If I didn't have that lecture to give, I wouldn't go back at all.”

“I’d rather you didn’t, too… but I know how important it is to you,” Harry whispered. “Stay tonight. Just promise me one thing?”

"Anything for you," Neville murmured, leaning in to nuzzle Harry's neck.

“Wake me up before you leave?” Harry asked plaintively. “I don’t want you to leave without saying goodbye.”

Smiling, Neville kissed a trail up Harry's neck toward his jaw. "I promise," he whispered before pressing his lips to Harry's.

Harry kissed Neville deeply, nipping gently at his bottom lip as he pulled away. “Neville…”

Neville brought one hand up to run his fingers through Harry's hair slowly, snuggling himself closer to the other man. “Hm?”

“Do you ever think about … getting rougher?” Harry asked tentatively.

Shifting onto his side, Neville propped his head up on one arm, continuing to thread his fingers through Harry's hair. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… you know… rougher. With me. More… physical?” Harry trailed off, looking down with reddened cheeks. His hand fisted itself in Neville’s shirt.

“Not really,” Neville answered with a frown. “I'm... not much for things that are very rough or painful. I do like the way you respond when we do get a bit rough; taking it beyond that, though?” He gave his head a small shake. “If it was something you wanted, I would try it for you, but...”

Harry shook his head. “No, Neville, it’s… it’s just something that Percy said,” he finished, mumbling into his neck.

Neville's brow furrowed and he pulled back to look into Harry's eyes. “What did he say?”

“It – doesn’t matter, Nev,” Harry equivocated. “It just got me wondering.”

“Wondering if I wanted to get rougher with you?” Neville paled, as the thought seemed to really register, and he pushed himself up to look down at Harry with a wounded expression. “He... You- _Merlin_ , Harry, were you thinking I would ever want to hurt you?”

“No,” Harry said quickly. “No, Neville, I told him you would _never_ …”

“But you still doubted it,” Neville said. “Enough to have to _ask me_.” Neville pulled away from Harry to sit nearer the end of the bed, bringing his knees up and bracing his elbows against them as he ran his hand through his hair with an unsteady sigh. “That scares me...”

Harry’s eyes welled with tears as he looked at Neville. “I’m – I’m sorry… I just… he…” Harry sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I need to leave,” he said whispered.

Neville's head whipped around at Harry's words and he instinctively reached for his hand. “Please, don't...”

Harry froze, sitting on the edge of the bed, as Neville took hold of his trembling hand. He remained silent, not turning around to look at the other man.

“If you want to be alone, I can leave, but-” Neville hesitated, swallowing the lump of panic in his throat. “Please don't just push me away...”

“I don’t want you to go,” Harry choked out. “I don’t want you to be disappointed in me, either.”

“Oh, Harry,” Neville murmured, shifting himself closer to the other man, so that they were sitting side by side, still holding hands. “I'm not disappointed in you, it's just that I'm worried that I've done something to make you question whether or not I'd hurt you.”

“Nothing!” Harry exclaimed. “Neville…” He turned and buried his face in Neville’s chest. “He just… gets to me. I know you would never…”

Neville relaxed, wrapping his arms around Harry and pulling him close as he rested his cheek on top of his head.

“I know you’re nothing like him,” Harry whispered. “Nothing…”

Tightening his arms around Harry, Neville gave a small nod to acknowledge his words, pulling back enough to press a kiss to Harry's forehead. “I'm sorry if my reaction scared you.”

Harry whimpered into Neville’s chest and clung to him. “Please say you believe me,” he pleaded.

“I believe you, Harry,” Neville murmured, bending his head to kiss Harry's cheek. “I promise I do.”

Harry nodded tremulously and tilted his head to kiss Neville gently. "Would you... will you still stay the night?"

Neville let out a soft sigh and smiled, pulling Harry back onto the bed with him. “Nothing would make me happier, love.”

Harry allowed Neville to bring them both down onto the mattress again, snuggling into his side before climbing up to straddle him, leaning down to kiss him deeply. “I’m glad…” he whispered.

Neville returned the kiss enthusiastically, stroking his hand over the length of Harry's back when they pulled apart.

“Neville… will you let me be yours tonight?” Harry asked.

Chuckling, Neville slipped his fingers into Harry's hair, pulling him down for another kiss. “I thought you were mine every night,” he teased.

Harry smiled and ducked his head. “I am… but I mean… _yours_ ,” he whispered, bringing one of Neville’s hands up to trace the collar around his neck.

Hooking his finger in the ring on the collar, Neville tugged on it as he lifted his head, brushing his lips to Harry's.

A quiet moan escaped Harry’s lips as he was tugged forward by the collar. “Yes,” he breathed, his eyelids fluttering closed.

Sliding his hand slowly down toward Harry’s arse, Neville tilted his head, trailing a series of kisses along Harry's jaw. “Mine,” he murmured, grabbing Harry's arse and pulling him down to grind against him. “ _All_ mine.”

“Yes,” Harry agreed breathlessly. “All yours, Neville. No one else…” He ground his hips downward against the other man. “Please…”

Neville held Harry to him tightly for a moment, rolling them so that Harry was lying beneath him on the bed. Allowing his hands to wander again, he slid one between them to stroke Harry's upper thigh through his pyjama bottoms. He brought his other hand to trace over Harry's collar again, his thumb brushing against Harry's throat gently just above the leather band. “Will you be my needy slut tonight, Harry?” Neville asked, leaning in until his lips were beside Harry's ear.

Harry’s breath hitched, his entire body eagerly responding to Neville’s question as he nodded. His hips came up off the mattress to buck against Neville’s.

Sliding his hand inward, allowing his fingers to brush against the bulge in Harry's pyjamas, Neville nipped at the spot behind his ear. “Nodding is not the proper way to answer me,” he reprimanded teasingly.

Harry blushed and closed his eyes. “Yes, Sir. I’m… I’m sorry.”

Neville pulled back to kiss Harry's cheek, his lips turning up with a smile. “I love the way you blush, you know...” Grabbing at the waistband of Harry's pyjama bottoms, Neville slid them slowly down his hips.

“I can’t help it,” Harry said. “Always – always have done…” He lifted his hips to help Neville slide his pyjamas off.

Tossing the bottoms onto the floor, Neville shifted onto his knees between Harry's legs. Balancing himself carefully on one arm, he leaned in to kiss Harry before beginning to mark a trail along his jaw and down his neck. His free hand began stroking Harry's thigh again, occasionally brushing his fingers against his erection to tease the other man. “You look so good like this,” he whispered between kisses, as he slowly worked his way down to Harry's chest.

“I do?” Harry asked, quietly squirming underneath him. Harry’s hands went to Neville’s shirt, trying to tug it out of his trousers.

“You always seem so surprised when I tell you things like that.” Neville chuckled as he caught Harry's wrists and moved them away from his shirt, pinning them to the bed above Harry's head. “I'll let you do that in a moment, love,” he said, leaning down to kiss Harry before shifting back down along his body to resume kissing a trail down his chest. “But right now, I'm having my fun with you.”

Harry let out a soft whimper, obediently leaving his arms where Neville had placed them, even as he lifted his hips up to push against the other man.

“Such a good boy,” Neville murmured, glancing up with an approving smile as he noted that Harry’s arms hadn't moved. As his lips brushed against Harry's navel, he placed his hands on Harry's thighs and spread them further apart so that he could settle comfortably on his stomach between them. He followed the trail of hair beneath Harry's navel downward slowly, stopping just above the base of the other man's cock to kiss the inside of his thigh.

Harry wriggled his hips, biting at his lower lip. “Neville…” he whispered pleadingly. His legs fell open wider as Neville kissed his inner thigh.

“Hm?” Neville turned his head to kiss Harry's other thigh.

“Please…” Harry’s voice was rough and low as he squirmed again. His hands fisted in the pillows over his head, but he still kept his arms in their position.

“Please _what_?” Neville teased, sliding his hands over Harry's thighs toward his arse. “You haven't asked me for anything.”

Harry groaned and turned his head, hiding his face in his arm, mumbling something against his skin.

“What was that?” Neville asked, unable to keep the smile from his face at Harry's embarrassment.

Harry moved his face only slightly, still hiding most of it against his arm. “Please fuck me,” he whispered.

Neville propped himself up on his elbows and grinned, grasping Harry's hips and pulling him nearer. “I don't think I'm quite done teasing you.” Leaning in again, Neville brushed his lips against the base of Harry's cock, moving slowly downward as he moved his hands beneath Harry's arse, lifting it.

Harry whimpered at Neville’s words, his feet shifting awkwardly against the rumpled duvet. Spreading Harry's arse, Neville dipped his head enough to slide his tongue between his cheeks, finding Harry’s entrance and circling it teasingly.

Harry’s hips bucked upward sharply, his legs scrabbling against the bedcovers. “N-Neville!” he gasped.

Neville tightened his hands on Harry's arse as he tilted his head, pressing his tongue more firmly against the ring of muscle and tracing it slowly. Harry struggled to control his squirming, but every limb was trembling as Neville’s tongue continued its teasing path. Neville probed Harry's entrance with the tip of his tongue, pushing partly in and then withdrawing and repeating the action, coaxing him to relax.

“Fuck, Neville…” Harry whimpered. His arms came down to his sides of their own volition, stopping short of grabbing on to Neville and fisting in the covers to either side, instead.

Shifting his hips off the bed to relieve some of the ache from the bulge in his trousers, Neville pushed his tongue deeper into Harry. He withdrew every now and again to tease his tongue over Harry's hole, before delving back into him.

Harry squirmed and wriggled, his hips bucking as Neville teased. “Neville… ahh… please… Sir…”

Pulling back with a quiet groan, Neville lowered Harry's arse back onto the bed and brought two of his fingers to circle his entrance before pushing them in with a whispered lubrication charm. Turning his face in toward Harry's thigh again, Neville pressed a few rough kisses against him, working upward toward his hip.

Harry’s hips lifted up again as Neville pressed his fingers inside him. “Ngh…!” He twisted his hips as he looked down at Neville, his pupils wide with need.

Neville met Harry's eyes with a knowing smile, kissing a slow trail back up his body. “Tell me what you need,” he ordered somewhat roughly, curling his fingers to strike Harry's prostate.

Harry’s whole body jerked, his cock twitching under Neville’s ministrations. “I – I…” Harry faltered. “I need you inside me,” he whispered. “…and I need – I want – to come…” Cheeks pink, he turned his face into the pillows.

Withdrawing his fingers, Neville dropped himself onto the bed beside Harry and pulled the other man tightly to him. Rolling onto his back before loosening his hold, Neville ground his hips up against Harry's arse. “Show me how much you want it.”

The pupils in Harry’s eyes were so wide that they looked nearly black as he pushed back against Neville, moving their erections together through Neville’s clothing. He tugged Neville’s shirt out of his trousers, pushing it up his chest to bare his nipples. Leaning down, he kissed from the navel up his torso, laving and sucking at the nipples. Pressing his head back against the bed, Neville's eyes closed with a soft moan as he arched into Harry. His hands reached around to squeeze Harry's arse roughly.

Harry nuzzled Neville’s neck, nipping lightly at the sensitive spot where his jaw met his ear, before kissing him deeply. “I need you, _Sir_ ,” he whispered, his lips against Neville’s ear.

Neville groaned, moving his hands to tear open the fastenings of his trousers as he pressed a few fevered kisses against Harry's shoulder. “Ride me, Harry,” he breathed, raising his hips to push his trousers down. “Show me what a slut you are for my cock...”

Harry moved to kiss him again, his tongue trailing along Neville’s lower lip, before sidling back down the other man’s body. He ground his hips against Neville’s erection, before continuing to move down his body so that he could kiss the tip of his straining cock, licking the underside as he watched Neville through lidded eyes.

Grasping at the duvet, Neville bucked his hips upward with a shuddering breath. “Tease,” he muttered shakily.

In response, Harry wrapped his lips around the head and in one swift movement, slid down the entire length, the tip brushing the back of his throat before he angled his neck properly. He swallowed around Neville’s cock, his hands holding the other man’s hips in place as he did so. He slowly slid back up, sucking hard, and let go of Neville with a wet _pop_. “ _That’s_ being a tease.”

Neville tangled his hands in the bedding as Harry swallowed him, trying to push up against Harry's hands when the other man pulled away. “Harry,” he nearly whimpered, lifting his head to meet Harry's eyes.

“Tell me what you want,” Harry echoed playfully, hovering tantalizingly over his erection before placing a lingering kiss on Neville’s stomach.

Dropping his head back onto the bed with an amused smile, Neville rocked his hips upward. “I want you.”

Harry crawled up Neville’s body, making sure that their erections rubbed together, in order to kiss him deeply. “You have me,” he whispered, as he moved to position himself as Neville had originally asked.

Neville untangled his hands from the duvet to place them on Harry's hips. “Need you... _now_ ,” he said, grinding himself against Harry for emphasis.

Harry reached behind himself to grasp the base of Neville’s cock, holding it steady as he sank down onto it, biting his lower lip as his body strained to adjust, but not stopping until Neville was fully seated inside him. “Fuck,” he whispered.

Neville let out a quiet groan, tightening his hold on the other man's hips. “Good boy, Harry.”

Harry shivered at Neville’s words, remaining still as he allowed his body to fully adjust before rocking forward to kiss Neville.

Sliding one of his hands up along Harry's back, Neville tangled his fingers into the other man's hair.

Harry moaned into the kiss, pressing back down against Neville to keep him as deeply inside himself as possible.

Shifting his hips, Neville pulled back as best he could to thrust up into Harry, breaking away from their kiss to nuzzle Harry's neck.

Harry rested his hands on Neville’s shoulders and pushed back into an upright position, rocking back and forth with a needy moan.

“Harry,” Neville groaned softly. Running the hand that had been in Harry's hair down his chest, Neville brushed his fingers along the length of Harry's cock before curling them around the base and squeezing.

Harry whimpered, bucking his hips to slide along Neville’s erection, pumping into Neville’s hand at the same time. “Fuck, Neville…” he gasped.

Removing his hand from Harry's arse, Neville reached up to grab the ring on his collar, tugging it to pull Harry closer. “Whose are you, Harry?” he asked breathlessly, angling his hips as Harry slid back down onto him.

Harry’s eyelids fluttered closed as Neville tugged on the collar. He stilled his movements for several seconds before he recovered himself and responded, “Yours…”

“Whose?” Neville repeated, as he tugged on the collar again.

Harry moaned again. “Yours, Sir… Neville, yours…”

Groaning in approval, Neville reached around to grab his arse with both hands. “All mine,” he murmured. “Forever...”

Harry sped up his movements, working himself faster on Neville’s erection. “Forever…” he whispered.

Thrusting up into Harry as best he could without throwing off the rhythm to the other man's movements, Neville pressed his head back against the bed. “I don't know how much longer I'll last, Harry,” he admitted.

Harry’s first response was to speed up. “I’m glad…” he panted. “Glad I can make you … feel like this…”

“ _Oh gods_ ,” Neville gasped. His hand moved to grasp Harry’s cock again, stroking along his length and trying to match the pace with the other man’s movements. Neville reached his other hand up to stroke his thumb across Harry’s cheekbone as he looked up into his eyes. “I love you,” Neville whispered.

“I… love you… too…” Harry groaned softly. “Ohh… mmmm…” He tilted his head to nuzzle against Neville’s hand.

Tensing beneath Harry, Neville bucked his hips with a strangled moan. “Harry, please...I need you to come for me,” he managed after a moment, his voice trembling. “I can't hold off much longer...”

Neville squeezed Harry's cock lightly as he began sliding his hand along his length at a faster pace, matching with that of Harry riding him and then speeding up slightly.

Harry tensed as he continued to move. “Oh, fuck…” he whispered. “Please… like that…” After a few moments, he was keening softly. “Neville… Neville, I…”

Stroking Harry a little faster, Neville ground his hips up desperately against him. His teeth sunk lightly into his lower lip as he reached his other hand behind Harry again to squeeze his arse.

With a soft cry, Harry came over Neville’s hand, his movements slowing as he coasted through his orgasm. “Oh, gods… Neville…”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Neville breathed, squeezing his eyes closed as he thrust up into Harry the best he could a few more times. “Harry!”

Harry rocked gently atop Neville as he came, not stopping until the other man had softened and slipped out of him. Leaning down, he kissed Neville deeply. “I love you,” he whispered.

“Mm, love you too,” Neville murmured with a smile. He nuzzled Harry's neck gently, wrapping one arm around his waist. “Mine...”

“Yours,” agreed Harry, as he shifted to curl against Neville’s side. “Yours…”

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	14. Chapters 18 & 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
> 

Chapter 18

 

Neville checked his bag again in the lobby of his hotel, ensuring he hadn't managed to leave something behind before tossing some powder into the Floo. When he stepped through into the sitting room of his flat, his eyes fell on Harry, sitting against one arm of the sofa with a book laid open in his lap, and smiled. “Is it bad that I love finding you already waiting for me like this?” he asked, dropping his bag on the floor in front of the sofa and leaning over Harry to kiss him.

Harry tilted his head up to kiss him deeply. "I hope not," he teased with a smile.

Neville ruffled Harry's hair before sitting beside him and curling an arm around his waist. “Reading anything good?”

"Articles for work," Harry said with a dismissive shrug as he leaned in to kiss him again. "I missed you."

“I missed you, too. I also brought you something,” Neville said, reaching for his bag and rummaging inside it for a moment. “Well, two somethings, actually.” Straightening, Neville nudged his bag out of the way again as he laid a small, unmarked box in his lap, offering a plain looking recipe book to Harry with an uncertain smile. “I wasn't sure if you'd already had one like this or not, since you have so many, but I couldn't resist.”

Harry accepted the book with a grin, opening it and leafing through the recipes. "Thank you, love," he said with a smile. He turned the pages almost reverently, before looking up at Neville. "Did you try any of these dishes while you were there?"

“Only a few,” Neville answered. “Most of what's in there is still entirely foreign to me.” His attention shifted for a moment to the box still resting in his lap before looking back to Harry. “This one, you can open now or later, it's up to you.”

Harry looked up from his new book to glance from Neville to the box. A shy smile tugged the corners of his mouth upward as he asked, "Which would you prefer?"

“I'd be happy with either,” Neville answered, leaning in to kiss Harry's cheek. “Although...I might be leaning a bit more towards sooner, rather than later.”

Harry set the cookbook aside and reached for Neville's hand. "Well, sooner, then.”

Chuckling, Neville handed the small box to Harry.

Harry turned it over in his hands curiously, looking up at Neville with a raised eyebrow. "What is it?"

"You might find that out if you open it," Neville said, giving Harry's arm a gentle nudge. His eyes focussed intently on the box as Harry opened it, revealing the collar tag inside, inscribed with _'Property of Neville Longbottom'_. Turning his gaze to Harry's face to watch for his reaction, Neville smiled hopefully.

Harry's fingertips traced the inscription and the edge of the tag, his eyes wide. "Neville..." he breathed, staring down at the gift in wonder.

Curling his arm around Harry's waist, Neville pressed himself against his side, tilting his head to rest against Harry's shoulder. "Turn it over, love," he suggested, wondering how Harry would react to the inscription of _'I love you'_ on the back of the tag.

Harry lifted the tag gingerly from the jeweller's box, his green gaze widening further at the second inscription. He ducked his head to hide the sudden well of tears. "I... I love you, too, Neville," he whispered.

Bringing his free hand up, Neville turned Harry's face toward him, leaning in to press their lips together. His thumb dashed at a stray tear that wound its way down Harry's cheek as he offered him an affectionate smile. "I'm hoping those are good tears?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah," he murmured, leaning in to press his lips to Neville's again.

Slipping his hand into Harry's hair, Neville kissed him soundly, pressing their foreheads together once they broke apart. "So, you like it, then?"

Harry nodded, heart in his throat. "Yeah," he said again.

"Have I managed to make you speechless?" Neville teased. "What are you thinking?"

Harry turned and nuzzled Neville. " _Thank you_ , Neville."

"You're welcome, love," Neville murmured.

"Do you... do you really mean what this says?" Harry asked. "Both sides?"

"Of course I do," Neville assured, tightening his fingers around a handful of Harry's hair, gently tugging his head back as he leaned in. His lips brushed against Harry's before moving to his jaw, kissing along it toward his neck. "You know I do."

"I'm... learning that," he agreed with a soft smile. "And... I can't wait to wear it."

"I can't wait to see you wearing it." Neville's smile widened before he removed his hand from Harry's hair, cupping Harry's cheek as his expression sobered slightly. "Before that, though, I want to talk about some things, love; is that all right with you?"

The light in Harry's eyes darkened at Neville's question. "All right, Neville."

"I want to know more about those nightmares you were having while I was gone," Neville said gently, keeping his arm around Harry's waist.

Harry shook his head quickly. "Please, Neville... I've already told you more than I should have. They don't matter."

"Actually, they do," Neville told him. "If they hadn't been something serious, the charm on your collar never would have gone off, Harry. I let you get away with brushing me off the first two nights, but after the way I found you last night, you're not getting out of this anymore."

Harry sighed. "They just frightened me, Nev; that's why the charm went off. I don't sleep well without you, in the best of times."

"Harry," Neville warned, shifting his position on the couch to turn toward Harry fully. "If they frightened you, then they are important to me. I won't say it again, love; tell me."

Harry chewed his lower lip. "I already told you the worst, Neville..." he whispered. "The rest was just... old memories."

Neville sighed, tugging Harry into his lap and pulling him close to his chest. "How bad were they?" he asked quietly, tucking Harry's head against his shoulder.

Harry cuddled against him. "Bad enough..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Neville asked. "Even if I couldn't stay the night, I could have been there for you."

"I didn't want to worry you," Harry said. "I didn't want to ruin your time at the conference with my baggage."

"When are you going to learn?" Neville murmured, reaching up to tilt Harry's face up and looking into his eyes. "You're more important to me than that."

"I can't help it, Neville..." Harry whispered. "I'm trying to protect you from this."

"You _can_ help it," Neville said, returning to a firm tone as he held Harry's gaze. "And you're going to stop keeping these things from me, is that understood?"

"Neville," Harry began, "you've already heard everything, or the worst of it, at least. You know what my nightmares consist of."

"Shouldn't that prove to you that I don't need protecting from it, then?" Neville's tone softened as he stroked his thumb across Harry's cheek. "If you have a nightmare while I'm away, I want to know what it was- even if all you tell me is that it was another memory. I just don't want you trying to keep me at arm’s length with parts of this anymore, Harry."

"I'll... try," Harry whispered. "But they're all... pieces of memories, with some new horrible things mixed in."

"What sort of things?" Neville asked, looking down at Harry in concern.

"Mostly him hurting you." Harry’s voice was nearly inaudible. "Or trying to..."

"He isn't going to hurt me, love," Neville assured, pressing a gentle kiss against Harry's forehead.

"I hope not," Harry murmured as he clung to the other man.

Neville frowned as he looked down at Harry, stroking his hand over the small of his back until his mind settled on an idea. "Harry?" Gently pushing the other man back from his chest enough to lift his face again, Neville smiled at him. "Will you go fetch your leash for me, love?"

Harry nodded, then hesitated. "Just the leash?" he asked. "Not the collar, too?"

"Just the leash for now," Neville said, his smile broadening at Harry's confusion. "Trust me."

Harry nodded and went into the bedroom, rummaging in the drawer for the leash. Though Neville had told him to leave it, he still opened his overnight bag and ran his fingertips along the collar before returning to the sitting room.

Pulling Harry back into his lap as he came back into the room, Neville tucked him comfortably against his chest as he took the leash from him. With a quick flick of his wand, he transfigured the lead into a bracelet, as he'd done several times before when they went out, fitting it around his wrist and smiling. "Take out your wand, love..."

Harry pulled his wand from its holster, looking at Neville curiously.

“I want you to cast the same charm on the leash that's on your collar," Neville told him, offering that arm to Harry. "So that if anything happens to me, you'll have a way to know."

Harry smiled, leaning in to kiss Neville lightly before pulling back and casting the charm. "I - I feel better already, Neville. Thank you."

"You're welcome, love," Neville murmured, leaning in to kiss Harry again. "I should have thought of this sooner for you," he added, bringing his hand up to brush the fringe of Harry's hair out of his eyes.

Harry cuddled against him, re-sheathing his wand and wrapping his arms around the other man.

Sighing contently, Neville rested his cheek against Harry's head. "I do have a bit of bad news, though, Harry," he said with reluctance.

Harry pulled back to look at him with trepidation in his eyes. "What?"

"I've been asked to go to another conference this coming week," he answered, worrying his lower lip. "They needed a last minute fill-in, and...I could tell them no, if you need me to..."

Harry frowned, shaking his head. "No... you should go..." He paused, and then blurted, "Where is it?"

"Greece."

"How long will you be gone this time?" Harry’s voice was no more than a whisper.

"Most of the week," Neville said, frowning at Harry's shift in tone. "They had a major presenter drop out at the last minute, and I was next on the list, if there'd been room for more. It's a lecture a day..."

"Okay," Harry said quietly. "It's important for you, I know… I'll just miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Wrapping his arms around Harry, Neville pulled him into a tight hug. "Next time, Harry," he started, his voice muffled against the other man's neck as he held him. "When I have the time to arrange it, will you come with me?"

"If I can get leave time from the department, yes; I'd like that, Neville."

"Me, too." Neville smiled as he pulled back. "But we still have the weekend before I have to leave...would you mind starting it just like this?" he asked, giving Harry a quick squeeze. "I've missed just holding you."

Harry snuggled into his arms and laid his cheek on Neville's shoulder. "I've missed it too," he murmured. "More than you know."

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

****

Chapter 19

 

Percy stepped up to the door of Grimmauld Place, one hand in the pocket of his robes, curled tightly around his wand. Harry'd managed to avoid him fairly well over the past several days, and his patience had reached its end. He rapped his knuckles sharply against the door, hoping that Harry wouldn't bother checking who was on the other side before opening it up for him.

Harry, heading down the hall to the Floo to go to work, heard the knock at the front door and groaned. Turning, he ran to the door and opened it quickly, intending to tell off whichever reporter was currently standing there wanting an interview.

Percy smiled as the door opened, keeping his wand undrawn for the moment as he shoved Harry back into the hall and pinned him to the wall, kicking the door closed behind them. “Hello, Harry,” he greeted, a bit too cheerfully.

Harry had the wind knocked out of him. "Percy, what the _fuck_?" He gasped, reaching for his wand.

“Now, Harry,” Percy reprimanded, swatting Harry's hand away and snatching the other man's wand from his robes. It was in the pocket he'd always kept it in while off duty, and Percy's smile widened. “My predictable little Harry,” he teased, tucking Harry's wand safely out of his reach in a back pocket of his trousers, beneath his robes. “You and I need to have a little chat.”

"We have nothing to say to each other, Percy," Harry spat. "Return my wand and get out."

“Oh, I don't think I'll be doing that. Tell me something, though,” Percy said, meeting Harry's eyes. “How've you and Neville been?”

"Neville and I are none of your business," he snapped.

“I'm sorry you feel that way. I assumed I was doing you a favour, coming to tell you what your lover's been up to these past couple of nights. But if it's none of my business...” Percy trailed off with a small shrug.

"Get out, Percy," Harry said wearily. "Just get out..."

“I'm getting very tired of all these dismissals,” Percy hissed, pressing himself against Harry. “My patience with your attitude is running out; now, I'm being kind enough to come here and give you a last, fair chance to come back to me and leave that cheating fool you call a lover, and you would be wise to take it.”

“Neville would never cheat," Harry snapped. "And I will never go back to you, Percy."

“Never?” Percy arched one eyebrow in amusement, leaning in until his lips were beside Harry's ear. “Has he seemed...less than interested the past few days? You did spend the night alone rather than with him, didn't you? Seems rather unusual to me...”

Harry blinked. "How would you know where I slept?"

“Unimportant,” Percy dismissed, moving his hand to turn Harry's jaw firmly to the side, giving him access to his neck. “What matters is that the lover you have so much faith in has been unfaithful to you. Spending time with men who require much less _attention_ than yourself,” he purred, dipping his head to brush his lips against Harry's neck.

"You're lying." Harry pushed Percy backward.

Percy let out a low growl of frustration, slamming Harry back against the wall as he drew his wand. “Do you remember what happened the last time that you fought me, _pet_?” he asked in a dangerous tone, sliding the tip of his wand down Harry's chest and circling his groin with it ominously. “What I said I would do to you? I wonder how Neville would feel about you then...”

Harry froze, trembling. "Percy..."

“That's better,” Percy murmured, leaning in toward Harry's neck again and biting down sharply. “Do you really think I would need to lie to you, Harry?” he asked after a moment, keeping his wand aimed between Harry's legs to discourage any further struggles. “The truth can be so much more damaging, after all.”

Harry shook his head. "You're wrong. Neville would never..."

“Why not?” Percy challenged. “Did you think he'd never see what you're _really_ worth? You're damaged goods, remember? You're lucky it lasted so long, before he realized it.”

"You're lying," Harry whispered. "I'm not. He doesn't see me like that." He slumped back against the wall, eyes trained on Percy's wand.

“Shouldn't that be concerning on its own?” Percy asked, lifting Harry's chin with a smirk. “You _know_ there's something wrong with you, Harry. Just because he won't tell you that aloud, doesn't mean he never thinks it.”

"No..." Harry said softly, shaking his head. "He doesn't..."

“Your trust in him is inspiring, even if it is unwisely placed,” Percy sneered, moving his wand away from Harry's groin to press himself against him.

"Percy, please.... stop it..." Harry pleaded.

“Oh, now there's a sound I've missed.” Percy's lip curled and he leaned in to hover his lips near Harry's. “You always did beg so nicely.”

Harry’s eyes widened. Percy chuckled at Harry's reaction, pressing his lips roughly to Harry's and scraping his teeth across his lower lip.

Harry turned his face sharply to the side. "Get off me.”

“Or what?” Taking advantage of Harry’s turn, Percy dipped his head to bite at his neck again. “Do you really think you could overpower me?”

Harry trembled, but tried bravely, "I shouldn't have to, Percy. I've told you I don't want this."

“You don't _have_ to want it,” Percy growled in Harry's ear, pressing Harry into the wall and grinding against him. “Whatever else you want to tell yourself, you belong to _me_ ; and I think it’s about time you fucking remember it.” His hands moved down to fumble with the fastenings on Harry’s trousers.

"No." Harry caught his breath and pushed away from the wall. "No," he repeated firmly, pushing Percy backwards, knocking him to the ground. Magic crackled as Harry channeled the energy around them both and Summoned both Percy's and his own wand.

Percy tried to tighten his hold on his wand before it flew out of his hand, his hands clenching into fists as he looked up at Harry with narrowed eyes. “You won't do anything to me, Harry,” he said confidently, moving to sit up on the floor. “Mum and Dad would never welcome you back, if you did.”

Harry shook his head. "I'm not going to keep doing this, Percy. This time, it's finished." He raised Percy's wand and stared at the redhead for a long moment.

Percy's eyes widened as he felt a twinge of panic. “Harry,” he tried softly, trying to shrink back from the other man. “Please...”

Harry shook his head. "Why? So you can keep coming after me? You as good as told me, just now, that you were planning on ‘reminding me’ who I belong to?"

“And what will you do about it?” Percy snapped in a change of tactics, hoping to intimidate the other man enough to get away. “Kill me? Or turn me in, where I could expose the nature of your... _relationship_ with Neville? It seems that your options are minimal here.”

“My relationship with Neville is none of your business,” Harry snarled. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, and you never will. _Incarcerous!_ ” Ropes shot from the end of Percy’s wand, winding around the redhead and restraining him.

Percy struggled against the ropes, glaring up at Harry as he scrambled for anything he could say to work his way out of the situation. “I know you're too weak to go through with this, Harry,” he ground out through gritted teeth. “It's been so long, your word isn't going to be enough. You'll need your memories to see anything done, and you don't have it in you to share them.”

Harry stared at Percy. "Do you really believe that? Just what happened today is enough to start an inquiry." Harry chewed on his lower lip as he considered the man bound on the floor before him, then said resolutely. "But if they need more, I'll give them more."

Percy paled and his eyes narrowed as he swallowed back a wave of panic. “You'll be in the headlines again,” he threatened, allowing his gaze to travel pointedly to Harry's neck. “I'll give a story to every reporter I can contact, to get the word out about that little collar of yours. Do you think the _Prophet_ wouldn't jump on such a story?”

Harry swallowed, shaking his head stubbornly. "I don't care. It's no one's business but ours, and in any case, it's your word against ours, Percy. After seeing my memories, who do you think people will side with?"

“You deserved every bit of it,” Percy snarled. “I was _fixing_ you, remember, Harry? I'm the one who took care of you, and the only one who ever really loved you; everything I did was because of that! _You belong to me_!”

"You're delusional," Harry said, raising his wand once again. "I don't _belong_ to anyone, Percy!" He took a step closer to the bound man and murmured the spell that transfigured his leather thong necklace back into the collar it truly was, making sure Percy saw it, before charming it back into its innocuous disguise. "And if I ever do belong to anyone, that man will be Neville Longbottom. _Not you_."

Neville stopped in his tracks as Harry's words drifted down the hall toward him. When the charm on Harry's collar had triggered again, and the other man hadn't been at the Ministry like he should have been, he'd been too panicked trying to find him to notice that the charm was no longer alerting him that something was wrong. He'd heard Percy's voice once he stepped through the Floo into Grimmauld Place, and ran toward the sound until Harry's calm response made him pause. Unable to keep the smile from pulling at the corners of his mouth, Neville stepped into the hallway Harry and Percy occupied. He cleared his throat, not wanting to startle Harry when he could still see his magic rippling around him dangerously. Percy's eyes snapped to him, but the redhead remained wisely silent.

Harry spun around at the sound of someone else in the space, his wand pointed at the intruder. As his mind processed the identity of the man standing before him, Harry threw Percy's wand aside and launched himself at the newcomer. "Neville...!"

Neville's arms wrapped around Harry as he buried his face in his hair. “Hello, love,” he murmured, pulling back to press a kiss against the fringe of Harry's hair. “Everything all right?” He glanced over Harry's shoulder at the seething redhead, who was glaring at the two of them, opening and closing his mouth as though he could no longer find the words to speak.

Harry nodded. "I think... we'd better call someone," he said. Turning back to look at Percy, he raised his own wand and pointed it at the redhead. " _Petrificus Totalus!_ " As Percy froze under the spell, Harry turned back to Neville and pushed him into the other room. "But I need to talk to you, first."

Neville arched one eyebrow as Harry pushed him out of the hallway, wondering what would be too important to wait until Percy had been taken care of. “About what, Harry?”

Harry chewed his lower lip as he paced in front of the Floo. "I... you need to know, Neville, that... Percy threatened to expose our relationship if I press charges."

Neville watched Harry's pacing and sighed, reaching out for his hand and pulling him into his arms again. “Harry, the last thing that matters to me right now is what people know about our relationship.” Tucking two fingers beneath Harry's chin, Neville lifted it gently until the other man met his gaze. “If he goes through with it and makes a story out of it to the papers, then we'll deal with it _together_.”

"But... he means about... about ..." Harry trailed off and chewed his lower lip, reaching up to move Neville's hand from his chin down to the leather thong around his neck.

Neville nodded in understanding, tracing his thumb across the narrow strip of leather. “I know what you meant, love,” he murmured, lowering his eyes to Harry's neck with a faint smile. “I still don't care. You know I didn't want it to become public knowledge any more than you did,” he added, returning his attention to Harry's face. “But if it’s the price we pay to be rid of him, then it’s more than worth it to me.”

Harry's eyes widened, before his lips curved upward in relief. "Thank you, Neville," he whispered, his arms going around the other man's neck. After a brief hug, he stepped back and squared his shoulders. "Right, then," he said, moving toward the Floo.

Neville squeezed Harry's hand as he moved away toward the Floo. Taking a few steps back, Neville took a seat to watch as Harry tossed a pinch of Floo powder into the fireplace.

Harry placed a quick firecall to Oliver Wood, Head Auror, before breaking the connection and stepping backwards to let the other man step through when he was ready. Raising his wand, Harry sent his Patronus to Kingsley, knowing the Minister would respond to the old Order distress call without hesitation.

Oliver stepped through the Floo into Harry's home and glanced around briefly before focussing on Harry. “What's going on, Harry?” he asked, ignoring the usual formalities he'd have used in the office. “It's not like you to be late, and I'm damn sure you wouldn't ask me through for a social call in the middle of a shift.” His tone wasn't reprimanding, and he spared the room another glance, looking for something out of place.

"Give us a minute," Harry requested, holding up his hand. "Kingsley's on his way, and I'd rather only go through the explanation once."

Oliver gave a small nod and moved to lean against the fireplace mantel to wait. He offered Neville a small nod in greeting, recognising the other man from school and his rare visits to the Ministry on a project. Neville returned the gesture as the room settled into silence while they waited for the Minister to arrive.

Kingsley Apparated into the room seconds later, wand at the ready. "Harry!" His resonant voice was laced with stress and worry. "What's going on?"

Harry took a deep breath. "Thank you for coming, Kingsley, Wood," he said. "I - uh - we've had a bit of a situation this morning."

Oliver blinked in surprise and pushed away from the mantel to straighten. “No offence meant by this, Harry, but you're an Auror. We have situations on a regular basis, and I've seen you handle them. This has got to be worse than a 'situation' if you've called both of us in.”

Harry darted a quick, uncertain glance at Neville. "Well, yes..."

Neville gave Harry a small nod and silently mouthed, 'Tell them.' He shifted in his seat, ready to move to Harry's side if it was needed, but wanting to give Harry the opportunity to prove to himself that he could do this.

Harry took a deep breath before turning his attention back to the other two men. "I.. was attacked this morning, here at the house," he said in a monotone. "I was able to subdue and secure the perpetrator, out in the hall."

Kinsgley immediately moved toward the hallway, but Harry stepped in front of him.

"Please, Kingsley... you need to hear everything first," the younger man pleaded.

Kingsley gave a curt nod as he motioned for Harry to continue.

"The attacker is... a former lover of mine," Harry admitted. "He... seems to have become somewhat obsessed."

Oliver's brow furrowed as he considered Harry's statement. After a moment, his eyes narrowed and he met Harry's gaze as he asked flatly, “Percy Weasley?”

Kinsgley's head snapped from Harry to Oliver as Harry nodded. "Percy _Weasley_?" he demanded. "What exactly happened here?"

Harry cleared his throat, his voice returning to a monotone. "Percy and I... did not have a good relationship," he explained. "I... I finally esc- left. I thought things were over, but we had an argument on Christmas at The Burrow, and he seems to have been stalking both of us since then. He showed up this morning and attacked me." Harry's voice was almost inaudible as he admitted, "He threatened me with castration and then… tried to rape me."

Neville stiffened in his seat, his hands clenching into fists before he forced himself to relax with a deep breath.

Oliver's eyes widened at Harry's admission, and he examined the other man for a moment. Percy'd never struck him as the type to try something like that, but he knew Harry well enough to know he wouldn't make such an accusation falsely. “I hope you have more for me than that, Harry,” he said finally. “I'll take him in, and we'll start an inquiry, but...” He paused and shot an uncertain glance at Kingsley as he considered his words, before shaking his head and sighing. “As your friend, and strictly off the record, if this is half as bad as I suspect it is- because I don't think you've said everything there is to say- I don't want there to be a chance in hell he could avoid rotting in Azkaban.”

Harry squared his shoulders. "I'll show you whatever Pensieve testimony you need to see, Wood. I just have to ask for two favours, and I think we'll need Kingsley's permission and authorisation for both." Harry took a steadying breath. "First, Percy's threatened both myself and Neville on multiple occasions. After I managed to overpower him, he still threatened to go to the media with certain details of my private life, which I would prefer remain private, if at all possible... I would like for the inquiry to be held confidential - need to know only."

Kingsley exchanged a glance with Oliver. "Of course, Harry," the Minister said. "We will keep things as discreet as possible."

Oliver nodded his agreement. “I know whose jaw wags in my department and whose doesn't; anyone other than myself who has to be brought in on this will keep silent about it.”

Harry breathed a sigh of relief at clearing the first hurdle. "And second... let me get to Molly and Arthur, and Ron, to tell them what happened. Before the Aurors, or, even worse, the vultures from the _Prophet_ , come banging on their door."

Oliver considered the request for a moment. “I can't guarantee you long, Harry, but I can delay things a few hours at least,” he said with a nod. Glancing at Kingsley, he added, “With the Minister's approval, of course...”

Kingsley frowned. "Harry, I know that you are very close to the Weasley clan, but... perhaps this news would be better coming from someone who isn't accusing their son of rape?"

Harry swallowed. "Ordinarily, I'd agree, Kingsley, but... they deserve to hear it from me. Or, rather... to see it," he finished grimly.

Kinsgley regarded Harry for a long moment, then nodded to Oliver. "Do what you can," he instructed. Turning back to Harry, he continued, "I'll get Arthur and Ron from the Ministry, and meet you back at The Burrow."

Oliver drew his wand. “You said he's in the hall?” he asked Harry, taking a step forward and glancing at him for confirmation.

"Thank you, Wood," he said with a quiet nod. Turning to Kingsley, he clasped his hand to the other man's shoulder. "Thank you."

Kinsgley bowed his head in response, acknowledging Neville at the same time. "I'll be at The Burrow as soon as I can," he told the two men before Disapparating.

Harry chewed on his lower lip and looked at Neville, the reality of the situation catching up with him as panic began to blossom behind his green gaze.

Neville waited until Oliver disappeared into the hallway and the Minister had left to stand and reach for Harry, pulling the other man against his chest and wrapping his arms around him. One hand stroked the small of Harry's back as Neville ducked his head, placing his lips beside his ear. “I'm so proud of you...”

Both men heard the _crack_ of Apparition as Oliver took Percy back to the Ministry. As silence descended on the house, Harry began to tremble in Neville’s embrace as the adrenaline flowed from his body. “Neville…” he whispered.

“I'm here, love,” Neville said. Sitting down again, he pulled Harry into his lap, bringing his hands up to cup his face, stroking his thumb across his cheek. “You can do this, Harry.”

Harry let himself cling to Neville for a long moment until his breathing evened out and the trembling subsided. "I - I'd like to tell you what happened, but we should get over to The Burrow before Kingsley does," he apologised. "You'll... have to hear some of it with them."

Neville nodded, leaning up to kiss Harry's forehead. “That's all right,” he murmured, threading his fingers through Harry's hair, before gently nudging the other man out of his lap so that they could stand. “I don't mind hearing it with them; delaying it to tell me first will only make it harder.” Reaching for Harry's hand, Neville gave it an encouraging squeeze.

Harry clung to Neville's hand as he nodded. "Yeah," he agreed. Moving to the Floo, he threw in a pinch of Floo powder and fire-called The Burrow. A moment later, he pulled his head out of the flames. "Let's go," he whispered.

Neville nodded, resisting the urge to pull Harry into his arms again as he watched the other man step through the Floo to The Burrow, following after him a moment later.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


	15. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years after the end of the war, Harry and Neville hit it off after a blind date. Harry is afraid to open up, but Neville is determined to explore the spark between them. Can they find happiness together, or will the spectre of Harry's hidden past destroy their fledgling romance?
> 
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the absolute team of folks who helped to beta and cheerlead for us as we wrote this! [](http://khasael.livejournal.com/profile)[**khasael**](http://khasael.livejournal.com/) , [](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/profile)[**solas_divided**](http://solas-divided.livejournal.com/) , [](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinky_kneazle**](http://kinky-kneazle.livejournal.com/) , [](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/profile)[**talekayler**](http://talekayler.livejournal.com/) , and especially **catcachoo** \- every one of you gave us something immeasurably precious. Thank you! We tinkered with it again at the end, so any remaining errors are entirely our fault.  
>  **Disclaimer:** We solemnly swear that we are up to no good. However, we promise to return everyone, good as new, when we’re done playing with them. We own nothing that you recognize, and we do not profit from any of it.  
> 

Chapter 20

Neville ran his fingers through his hair as he stepped through the Floo into his flat, sighing in relief now that they were away from the Ministry at last. After spending the better part of the day watching the long process of Percy's inquiry, they'd finally gotten the chance to return home. Turning towards Harry as he stepped into the flat behind him, Neville looked him over with a frown; he'd been unusually quiet since they left the courtroom, and it was beginning to worry him. "You all right, Harry?"

Harry nodded, his fingers plucking at the hem of his robes.

"Harry," Neville said again, a little firmer, as he gently pulled the other man close and lifted his face to meet his gaze. "What is it?"

"Nev, I ... I'd really rather not talk about it, all right?” Harry moved to stand by the window, staring out onto the street below.

Frowning, Neville stepped up behind Harry, wrapping his arms around him. "I'm not going to force it out of you," he murmured, leaning in to rest his chin against Harry's shoulder. "But I think you'd feel better if you talked."

"What more is there to say?" Harry asked in a hollow voice. "You were there today. You heard what happened. You saw how all those people looked at me."

"Why do you care so much what those people think of you?" Neville asked quietly, tightening his arms around Harry. "You don't owe them anything, Harry, so why let their petty judgments and opinions bother you?"

Harry leaned back against Neville. "I... don't know. Because I watched the looks on their faces go from respect, to pity, to disgust?"

"The people who matter wouldn't lose their respect for you so easily, love," Neville said, turning to place a light kiss against Harry's cheek. "They're judging you based on a ridiculous standard of what _they_ think you should be. If that's the way they want to think of you, then it's more evidence of how little they deserve this deep of a reaction."

"I suppose." Harry sounded unconvinced.

Neville straightened, turning Harry in his arms and lifting his face to make him meet his eyes. "Harry, you went through hell with Percy, and you've come out of it all strong. Anyone who can't still respect you, after what you've gone through, doesn't deserve your attention."

Harry closed his eyes, hiding from the look on Neville’s face. “I can’t help it,” he whispered. “I’ve let everyone down. I should have been stronger.”

"Who’ve you let down, exactly?" Neville asked, placing his hand against Harry’s cheek.

Harry's shoulders slumped. "Everyone."

"How?" Neville frowned slightly at his behaviour. "What have you done to let ‘everyone’ down, Harry?"

Harry moved Neville's hand away, but laid his head on the taller man's shoulder, burrowing against him. "You were there. You heard the worst of it."

“Yes, I did," Neville agreed, curling his arms around Harry's waist and sighing. "But you haven't let anyone down with all this, Harry..."

Harry shook his head against Neville's chest. "You're wrong. I'm the Boy Who Lived. ‘The Saviour of the Wizarding World’. They expect me to be ...better. Strong. Smart. Sensible."

"For a man who detested those titles for so long, you're certainly placing quite a bit of stock in them now, aren't you?" Neville nudged Harry's head off his shoulder, forcing him to look up and meet his gaze. " _Who cares_ what the rest of the world expects you to be?"

Harry groaned. "It's just... oh, I don't know, Neville." He tore himself away and began pacing the room.

Neville let Harry pull away without a fight, allowing him his space for the moment. "You haven't let anyone down, Harry," he repeated calmly, watching him pace the floor. "Why are you insisting on punishing yourself for this, as though you haven't already been through enough?"

Harry mumbled something as he moved back to the window, staring out with unseeing eyes.

"What was that?" Neville asked, reaching for Harry's arm.  
Harry bit his lip, not acknowledging Neville's question.

"Harry," Neville repeated, "Answer me."

Harry ducked his head. "I said, maybe I deserved it."

"Deserved what?" Neville stepped up behind Harry again, running his hands over his arms. "What Percy did to you was not anything anyone deserves, Harry, least of all you. The same goes for how those people were looking at you, love. You didn't deserve for any of this to happen."

Harry began pacing again, partly to put distance between him and Neville. "Didn't I? You heard how long I stayed. I allowed it to continue. I was too ... too _weak_ to leave."

"You were in love with him, Harry; that doesn't make you weak." Neville leaned back against the wall with a sigh as Harry resumed his pacing. "You didn't stay because you couldn't leave; you stayed because you believed he loved you."

Harry shook his head. "You give me too much credit, Neville." His pacing sped up as he ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stand even more on end. "I stayed ... oh, I don't know why I stayed anymore."

"Does it even matter now, Harry?" Neville watched him worriedly as he stepped away from the wall, keeping some distance between them, since Harry seemed to need it, as he moved toward the sofa. "Whatever it was at the time that made you stay, it's done. It doesn't change the fact you didn't deserve the things he did to you."

Harry sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. "Didn't I?" he asked. "Can you be so sure, Neville?"

"Yes, I can," Neville answered. Seating himself at one end of the sofa, he reached one hand out toward Harry. "Sit with me while we talk?"

Harry looked at Neville for a long moment before reaching out to take his hand with a slow nod. "Alright," he whispered, as he allowed Neville to pull him over to the sofa.

Neville pulled Harry down beside him, wrapping one arm around his waist. "Why would you think you deserved any of that, love?" he asked, hugging Harry against his side.

Harry laid his head against Neville's shoulder.

Pressing a kiss to the top of Harry's head, Neville murmured, "Harry, I need you to talk to me here. What is it?"

Harry sighed. "I... maybe I did deserve it, Nev. Maybe I _do_ deserve it."

"You keep on saying it, but I have yet to hear or see a reason why," Neville countered. "I want you to give me a reason."

Harry closed his eyes. "Because of the war," he whispered.

Neville paused, furrowing his brow in confusion as he looked at Harry. "Because of the war?" he repeated, shifting his position so that the other man was facing him. "Harry, you put your life on the line to do something that everyone else was too afraid to do. How could you say you deserved that, after what you did?"

Harry shifted as though he wanted to jump up, tension in every muscle. "It took me too long, Neville. I wasn't good enough. So many people died..."

"Harry," Neville began, stroking his hand over the small of Harry's back. "You never should have had that much on your shoulders, and you know it. You did everything you could have, which is more than most of the wizarding world can say for themselves."

"It still wasn't enough," Harry said dully. "Even look at what you and the others went through, the year before the war, with the Carrows..."

"For Merlin's sake, you can't prevent every bit of harm in the world." Neville looked sternly into Harry’s eyes. "Most of us could have had an easier year if we hadn't been provoking them half the time; but we were standing up for something, in the only way we could."

Harry sighed. "Others were standing up for something, too, and it got them killed."

"Were you under the impression that none of us were aware that death was a possibility?" Neville arched an eyebrow, dropping his hand from Harry's face and reaching for his hand to clasp it. "We knew the consequences of our actions and we _chose_ to do the things we did."

"I know," Harry whispered. "But that doesn't change the fact that if I'd been able to figure things out faster; been able to defeat Voldemort faster..."

" _Stop_ ," Neville ordered. "What are you expecting to hear? That every death in that war was your fault for not completing an unreasonable task sooner than you did? You did everything you could have done, working with minimal information and a whole lot of luck and instinct, and nearly got yourself killed on multiple occasions. What more could you have done for us, when it should never have been your responsibility to begin with?"

Harry swiped a hand over his eyes and nodded slowly. "I know... I know..." he said. "In my head, I know all of that, Nev. But in my heart..." Harry trailed off. "At the end of the war, everyone called me a hero. But I knew I wasn't. And so did Percy."

"You were a hero," Neville told him. "You did something impossible, Harry, and maybe someone else would have finally stepped in to take care of Voldemort, but how long down the line?"

Harry shook his head. "Everyone who was fighting believed it had to be me. If I'd failed..."

"If you'd failed, then there would have been people who carried on fighting. What good would it have done us to give up the fight, if you hadn't made it, Harry?" Neville paused. "The DA wasn't about making an army for you, in case you happened to come back to Hogwarts that year, you know. It was about standing up for what was right, no matter what the cost. We'd have kept it going, and I don't imagine we're the only ones."

"I know..." Harry repeated. "It's not that I think I was the only one fighting. I still can't help but think that... if I'd been ... _better_..."

"How much better could you have been?" Neville asked, his tone taking on a sharp edge. "You did everything you could have done. You're only human, Harry; what more could you ask of yourself, when you already gave everything you had?"

"I was supposed to die," Harry whispered finally.

"You were not _supposed_ to do any such thing," Neville snapped, standing to pace toward the fireplace. "Why do you insist on doing this to yourself?" he asked after a moment, facing away from Harry still as he rested his forehead against the mantel. "If you were meant to die, don't you think you would have? Do you think we'd be having this discussion, if you weren't meant to be alive right now?"

Harry rested his arms on his knees and stared at the floor. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Neville... I think you'd better sit down. There's something you should know."

Neville turned toward him uncertainly, hovering near the fireplace. "What is it?"

Harry kept his gaze on the floor as he said, "I _did_ die, Neville. I died out there in the Forbidden Forest, and came back."

Neville blinked in surprise for a moment, processing that admission before finally moving away from the fireplace to crouch down in front of Harry. "Shouldn't that be more evidence that you were meant to be alive?" he asked.

Harry finally lifted his head to meet Neville's eyes. "I don't know." His tone was bleak as he continued, "I just... why did _I_ come back, and so many others didn't? I had no one to come back to; my Muggle relations had all but disowned me, and everyone else was already dead. Remus or Tonks should've been able to come back, for Teddy. Or Fred...."

"I wish I could tell you why, Harry, but I don't have that answer any more than you do. But do you think this is the way any of them would want to see you living?" Neville asked, reaching up to cup Harry's cheek. "Do you think any of them would hold your life against you, or want to see you feeling guilty over every moment of it?"

Harry shook his head. "No... but... I don't know... how not to feel guilty."

Neville bit his lip as he moved up to sit beside Harry on the sofa again, pulling the other man into his arms silently.

"I guess that's why I stayed," Harry whispered brokenly. "Because it felt, somehow, like I _should_ be punished..."

"You didn't need punishment, Harry," Neville murmured as he buried his face in the other man's hair. "You should have been healing, not breaking yourself down further." His arms tightened around Harry, holding him close to his chest. "You deserved better, love."

Harry closed his eyes. "I never believed that... until recently..."

Neville rested his cheek on top of Harry's head. "What changed?"

"I fell in love with you," Harry whispered.

Neville smiled faintly, turning to press a kiss against Harry's temple.

Harry snuggled against him. "With you, I... I realised how bad things really were. How bad I was."

" _You_ weren't bad, love," Neville whispered, bringing one hand up to stroke Harry's hair. "He's the one who did everything wrong.”

Harry shook his head. "I was wrong to stay. I should have seen..."

"Harry, he manipulated you into thinking what he did to you was okay." Neville threaded his fingers through Harry's hair. "Maybe you should have seen what was happening, but how easy do you really think that would have been to do?"

Harry sighed. "That's what I told myself, Neville... but I _should_ have seen. I don't know ... don't know why I didn't."

"Because you loved him," Neville said. "You didn't want to believe he would really do anything to hurt you."

"I was blind," Harry whispered. "I'd never been loved before; not really. I didn't know what love was."

"And he took advantage of that." Neville tucked Harry's head against his shoulder. "That isn't your fault, Harry..."

"That did not seem to be the general opinion in court today."

"How many of them do you think have been in your shoes?" Neville asked, tilting Harry's face up to look at him. "People will think what they will; it doesn't make them right; especially when they have no understanding of what you've gone through."

"I suppose..." Harry trailed off, closing his eyes and leaning against him, his body still tense and taut.

"You shouldn't care so much what those people think of you," Neville murmured, rocking Harry gently in his arms. "Have I ever looked at you any differently, because of what happened with him?"

Harry considered that for a moment. "Sometimes... sometimes you look at me like you're afraid I might break."

Neville gave a small nod at that, tightening his hold on Harry. "You've had a hard time of things lately, Harry. I've been worried about you. But my respect for you has never changed," he said, nuzzling his cheek against Harry's hair. "My _love_ for you has never changed. You're still just as perfect to me as you were before you told me everything."

"Oh, Neville..." Harry sighed. "I'm the farthest thing from perfect."

"Maybe to everyone else," Neville said, reaching up to ruffle Harry's hair. "Maybe to yourself, even, but not to me. I still think you're perfect."

Harry nuzzled him. "Love is blind, they say," he whispered hopefully.

Neville chuckled. "Not always," he murmured, turning Harry's face toward him and leaning in to brush their lips together. "I don't overlook what happened to you, Harry- it's part of your past, whether we like it or not. But it's also part of what made you who you are now."

"And... who I am now... is all right?" Harry asked.

Neville nodded, stroking Harry's cheek affectionately. "Who you are is wonderful, Harry."

"Not yet," Harry whispered. "But... I'm getting better."

_fin_

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